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Anybody else dating a non-vegan?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Busybee22, Oct 9, 2018.

  1. Busybee22

    Busybee22 Member

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    Hey friends, my name is Ashley and I am new to the forum here. Was wondering if anyone was dating a non-vegan?
    My boyfriend loves meat, and it's hard because I want to be able to eat dinner with him and it's hard for us to find compatible restaurants to eat at together. I also really have a tough time cooking meals for him, as I don't really like buying meat and supporting that industry.

    Was wondering what anyone else does in this situation. All answers are appreciated, thanks! :)
     
  2. hopeful
    Creative

    hopeful Active Member

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    My wife is not a vegan. When we began dating, she was a meat eater of all sorts of meats. When we moved in together, we agreed to have only vegetarian food in the house. Now she is a pescatarian, so she has fish in the house, but she's not eating other types of meat anymore. Anyway, my suggestion would be not to cook your boyfriend meat. I have never cooked my wife meat. I simply cook vegan food for both of us to eat. When she cooks, she cooks vegan food for me and will add cheese or something to her portions.

    Welcome to the forum!
     
  3. veganDreama

    veganDreama Active Member

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    Hello and welcome! I suggest you stop cooking your boyfriend meat. Give him some 'fake' meat dishes without telling him they are 'fake' and see what he says.

    My old neighbour always says she doesn't like soya. So when I made mango sorbet with soya cream and mango juice and pulp I didn't tell her about the soya and she said she liked it.
     
  4. Valentine Lopez Martin

    Valentine Lopez Martin New Member

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    meeee!!!! my boyfriend is not vegan and loves meat but he's super understanding and sometimes loves my vegan food. recently I bought him this vegan beard oil from Virginic, you HAVE to check out their website and he reallly appreciated it and is starting to realize how awful the meat industry is soooo maybe i can convince him to hehehe so i think you should get your bf something which will make him realize being vegan is the best
     
  5. seekingdhamma
    Caffeine Fix

    seekingdhamma Member

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    I haven't eaten red meat in 15+ years nor have I used dairy products. I will still cook my husband meat or let my daughter eat ice cream, but I do try to influence their choices for ethical and health reasons. However, I know that they are their own individuals and can make their own decisions. I think one of the most important parts of any relationship is compromise. If dating a non-vegan doesn't bother you, then you shouldn't allow your lifestyle differences to influence how you treat that person. It's unfair and would surely be a source of contention at some point throughout the relationship. I also don't suggest cooking your boyfriend fake meat, either - not disguised as real meat, anyway. It's not honest! Make delicious vegan meals and be excited to share them with him. Think of things he likes! If you live separately, only keep vegan foods in your house, and if he wants something else, he can bring it. I am lucky and my husband is an omnivore and has learned how to cook whole food, vegan foods for me. In turn, I will cook non-vegan things. (I also love to cook.) It's really up to you. If this person is important to you, then you will figure out how to live harmoniously together, even if you are different. Good luck!
     
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  6. veganDreama

    veganDreama Active Member

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    I don't see anything wrong with giving people fake meat. Because REAL meat is anything BUT honest. Not the way the animals are treated anyway. But then I'm vegan for ethnic reasons. I would want any partner of mine to be at least vegetarian or Pescatarian. Preferably vegan.
     
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  7. seekingdhamma
    Caffeine Fix

    seekingdhamma Member

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    Perhaps I was not clear. I don't think there's anything wrong with giving people fake meat; I think there's something wrong with giving people fake meat and telling them that it is something else. That is dishonest.

    I am a whole foods, plant-based vegan, for health reasons - so fake meat isn't on my list of foods that I eat. If somebody willingly gave me fake meat and didn't tell me what it was, I would be irate (and would likely be hospitalized). A lot of readily available fake meat (in average grocery store chains; organic store chains are certainly a bit different, but being overly processed is similar across the board in most cases) is overly processed and salted, a lot of them aren't vegan, and a lot of them use preservatives, fake coloring, etc. If I was expecting grass-fed beef tacos and was given a bunch of processed soy and egg white bits, I'd be perturbed. My suggestion wasn't to imply that feeding someone meat was a better alternative (it never is) but it could be a health issue for someone who can't process fake, processed products.

    My main point was honesty is the best policy!

     
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  8. JamieVA

    JamieVA New Member

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    Yes, I've been dating a meat eater for four years now. I was already vegan before we started dating, and he's been (mostly) very supportive and understanding. I do not cook meat nor am I comfortable handling it. He appreciates when I cook for him, no matter what it is I cook. That's the beautiful thing about vegan food.. no matter if you're vegan, vegetarian, pescatarian, omnivorous, etc - you can still eat vegan food. There's no reason he can't eat vegan food when you make it, unless he is really that unwilling to eat a meal that doesn't have meat in it. If that's the case, I'm not sure that would be a type of relationship I would want to be in personally. I don't force my views on my significant other, he doesn't force his on me, and we both eat what we want when we want to. And he acknowledges and is ok with the fact that if I'm the one cooking and providing the food, it will still be delicious and filling, it just won't have meat or dairy in it. Four years later and he has actually started ordering vegetarian food more-often-than-not when we're out at restaurants, without any coaxing from me. He says it just sits better on his stomach and doesn't make him feel lethargic. It's not usually hard for us to find a place to eat that we both enjoy going to. He will groan a little when I want to try an all-vegan place, but as long as he isn't craving something specific, he's usually willing to try it along with me. And although places like seafood restaurants or steakhouses are pretty much the most un-vegan-friendly restaurants around, I will accompany him out to these places as well if that's where he really wants to go, and order a salad or sides. He doesn't make me do this, nor do I make him go to the all-vegan places. It's all about compromise and how much you two are willing to compromise for each other. If you feel like you are acting against your ethics by cooking meat and do not want to do it, he should be able to respect that. You not cooking meat isn't the same as you forcing him to be vegan.
     
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2018
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  9. Busybee22

    Busybee22 Member

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    Thanks guys! These are awesome answers. I won't be cooking non-vegan food for him anymore. It's healthier and something that I feel good about him eating.
     
  10. Huawei

    Huawei Member

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    I am not a 100 % vegan/vegetarian myself, but I have heavily reduced the number of meat portions. A “normal week” would previously mean 7 meat portions … now its maximum 2. However, I recently met a girl that loves beef. She simply can’t get enough of it.

    As I really want us to eat the same meals, I struggled a bit to “adjust back” to eating more meat. What I did was going around to the best vegan blogs and find recipes that tasted excellent. I did not tell her beforehand that I was going to make something without meat, but simply made dinner that tasted excellent…

    I believe in that approach rather than forcing someone information about environment/health, despite those being important factors to change your diet as well.
     

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