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Cooking animal products for my non-vegan loved ones? an ethics issue.

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Julie, Apr 3, 2018.

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Is it unethical to cook a non-vean meal for a loved one?

  1. Yes, stick to your guns.

    100.0%
  2. No, you shouldn't force your lifestyle on others.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. Unsure...more information is needed.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. Julie

    Julie New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2018
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    Vegan Newbie
    Hello everyone!

    I'm a very recent vegan, and my reasons are mostly health/ environmental/ social issues. My significant other eats anything and prefers meat/ animals products. Since I am vegan because I want to enjoy a long life/ don't want to promote the exploitation and hunger of poor nations, is it unethical for me to cook my partner a non-vegan meal? I LOVE cooking and it's my way of showing people that I care; my fear is that I may ostracize those close to me by seemingly forcing my vegan lifestyle on them.

    I am new to the community, and so any advice is very much appreciated!
    Thank you!
     
  2. Sax
    Classy

    Sax Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2018
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    Jefferson City, MO
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    Lifestyle/Diet:
    Vegan Newbie
    If your partner was a cannibal, would it be ethical to cook them human flesh? I believe humans and animals are morally equivalent and that this is essentially the same scenario.

    I wouldn't be hard on yourself if you continue to cook meat for your partner as you transition. But as it becomes less of an "experiment" and more who you are I would transition away from this as well.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  3. gab
    Devilish

    gab Active Member

    Joined:
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    +68 / 0 / -2
    Lifestyle/Diet:
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    Hi Julie,

    I really get the need to do nice things for the loved ones, things that they enjoy.

    Just make tasty vegan foods and see where it leads you.

    You are a recent vegan, but after a few more months, you are naturally going to stop wanting to prepare meat, so best start getting your partner used with vegan meals and perhaps he can have takeaway food when fancying meat.

    It does not have to be an abrupt transition if you can still cook meat just reduce it every week.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. Genuine Mathias
    Balanced

    Genuine Mathias Member

    Joined:
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    Austin, TX
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    Vegan
    I would say absolutely unethical. Simply because you are doing the very thing you made the choice not to do. Only now you are doing it for someone else. Take it easy on yourself, though. Do what feels right, first. Do what others ask of you, second. Good luck!
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  5. Forest Nymph
    Scurvy

    Forest Nymph Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2017
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    Location:
    Northern California
    Ratings:
    +94 / 0 / -11
    Lifestyle/Diet:
    Vegan
    You can still cook for your partner. But you don't cook meat anymore. You are under no obligation to do so. You can make your partner delicious vegan dinners and desserts, and still express your love that way.

    Someone who EXPECTS you to cook for them who isn't literally your child is the problem, not you. So if your partner wants to eat animal products he should learn to cook them himself. In separate pans. And do his own dishes. This is also starting to seem like a feminist issue, frankly.

    I know this is harder if you're already in an established relationship but your partner ultimately shouldn't stop you from growing as a person. I was in a relationship for six years with a man I was very much in love with, and we had similar interests (at the time) and so forth...but honestly the relationship was co-dependent, emotionally draining, and left very little energy for me to pursue other things (college, career, whatever) and I realized that I would never have the life I wanted with him, because he expected to be the center of my universe, my sole purpose of being was to be the female reflection of his masculine glory, and his admiration of me had a lot to do with the things we shared in common, what I could do for him, or traits I had he envied, but only wanted me to develop so long as they didn't interfere with our partnership coming first all the time.

    I'm not suggesting your partner is that overbearing or bad for you, but I'm using it as an extreme example of how we can't let our partners stop us from growing as individuals. You should be able to grow as a couple, but also be able to grow as individuals, so you stay interested in each other: studies have shown that when two people each have their own pursuits, it actually keeps the relationship healthier and more exciting.

    So yeah cook for your partner if it's your love language, but let it be a real love that stems from your veganism and your ethics.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  6. poivron

    poivron Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2017
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    Location:
    New Jersey, USA
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    +57 / 2 / -0
    Lifestyle/Diet:
    Vegan
    I don't think this is a matter of ethics; it's a matter of respect. It would be disrespectful for a non-vegan to expect a vegan to cook non-vegan food for them. The people you love should return that love by respecting your choice not to participate in animal suffering. I can't imagine that people who truly love a vegan would expect him or her to handle the flesh of animals, or other products of animal exploitation.

    I agree with gab. If you want to cook for your loved ones, make delicious vegan food for them. Don't feel that this is in any way forcing your decisions on others. If those around you want to eat animals, they can cook for themselves or go out to eat.

    Congratulations on choosing a kinder way to live, and good luck!
     

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