Coping strategies for stressful events

[Second Summer]

How do you manage stressful events such as family get-togethers over the holidays, job interviews, doing presentations or talks for important audiences at work, or slightly more everyday scenarios like days where your calendar is stuffed with countless tasks, small or big?

Do you tell yourself you'll be rewarded once it's over? Binge on your favourite food, snack or drink?

What is the 'right' way to deal with stressful days or events like these?

 

[KLS52]

I'm not sure there is a "right" way as long as it works for you and get through it. I do tend to like "snacking" on things like popcorn or chips. I don't find family gatherings stressful...they are a lot of hard work and exhausting but I like them too much to be stressed over them. Work is where I get all of my stress and, unfortunately, I spend more time at work than anywhere else. Having people to talk and vent to is very helpful for me.

 

[Amy SF]

For highly sensitive people such as myself, those stressful situations fill us with dread, as we can be easily overwhelmed and become overstimulated during those times. So we need to spend time alone before (as well as after) those situations to ground ourselves and prepare psychologically. Meditation in a dark, quiet room, perhaps with appropriate quiet, light music in the background, is one strategy. This allows us to face those situations without too much sensory overload.

 

[silva]

A long time ago I learned to watch how others, who I feel handle situations well, respond to them. Every thing from their verbal cues to facial and body language. I've always aced job interviews and review with this method. It's a lot harder for me keep that up in crowds and stressful situations where I'm not active though. I wish I had better coping inner coping skills, but at least I feel I can blend in by trying on a facade.
Sometimes the mantra of "eff- it" works ok

 

[Mischief]

"This will not matter in ---- years" works for a lot of stuff. For everything else, just focus on what needs to be done.

 

[Poppy]

If I know a stressful situation is upcoming, I honestly try to exercise ahead of time - it always helps. While the situation is happening, I try to remember that nothing lasts forever, make sure everyone else is doing ok/having fun/has everything they need, and take mini breaks from the action if that's at all possible. And as for public speaking, apparently I'm one of the lucky few who really isn't phased by it. As long as I am prepared for whatever I topic I need to present, I'm fine doing the actual presentation (thank you, high school drama! ).

 

[PTree15]

I don't usually stress out over family events, because most of the time they are enjoyable, even though, as KLS said they can be a ton of work. In the other instances, like having to speak before a group, I take about 10 minutes before the talk and just do deep breathing. That seems to calm me down enough so that I don't race through my talk. I had lots of presentations when I was enrolled in a paralegal studies program a few years back.

At work, I just try to remember that it's temporary, that I will be home in a few hours and I can leave it at the door. Luckily I have a job that doesn't require me to take work home. We're done when we're done, which is nice. I also will take a brief walk outside our building if someone really pisses me off, because that will usually keep me from saying things that could get me fired. When I get home after a particularly unpleasant day, I might have a glass of wine or a cocktail and listen to some good tunes and play with Theo.

 

[Moll Flanders]

I generally have to promise myself a reward for anything I don't particularly want to do. I was saying on here the other day that I don't like donating blood (or needles) so I have told myself I can get a vegan meal at a restaurant on the same day as a reward for doing it.

I listened to a podcast where they talked about this strategy, it's called temptation bundling. “Temptation bundling”: the idea of tying together two activities — one you should do but may avoid; and one you love to do but isn’t necessarily productive. When Willpower Isn't Enough: A New Freakonomics Radio Podcast - Freakonomics Freakonomics

A long time ago I learned to watch how others, who I feel handle situations well, respond to them. Every thing from their verbal cues to facial and body language. I've always aced job interviews and review with this method. It's a lot harder for me keep that up in crowds and stressful situations where I'm not active though. I wish I had better coping inner coping skills, but at least I feel I can blend in by trying on a facade.
Sometimes the mantra of "eff- it" works ok

That is exactly what I have learned to do.

I actually read about this in a book about introverts. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking - Wikipedia Some introverts are very good at reading social situations so they can mimic more extroverted people. I probably don't come across as introverted as I really am because I can act like a pseudo-extrovert when I have to.

 

[KLS52]

I cannot do any type of public speaking. I'm strictly a behind the scenes kind of person. I would never take a job that would require me to give presentations. I compose fairly well written correspondence so whenever my office needs a letter or memo to go out to the State, or County Executive's office, I'm the go to person. And it's kind of weird...as much as I shy away from social activities where I have to meet new people, I still have decent customer service skills. I am kind of anomaly, I think. People don't understand that I can be so anxious about some things but then I can get up, in front of a crowd, and ride a mechanical bull or sing karaoke, lol. Honestly, I don't get it either.

Going for walks has definitely been a stress reliever for me. I'm not one for "exercise" but I love walking. Since work is the biggest stressor for me, I also tell myself that I will be home at the end of the day. Home is my refuge. The thing that bothers me is, I sometimes let work get to me so bad that once I am home, I have no desire to socialize and see people.
My only desire is to drown myself in the company of my cats and Gilmore Girls. I feel like it may not be the healthiest thing, mentally, but it makes me so happy and relaxed. I hate that people tell me I need to "get out and do something". I don't get why it can't be ok to spend my weekends quietly if I'm happy and content. It helps me recharge. I see people all week long, we get to chat throughout the day, go out to lunch, walk on our breaks. Even with the aggravation, the work is interesting and we laugh a lot throughout the day. It's mostly a great group of people.