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Deal with parents over veganism????

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Queen of Strawberries, Aug 21, 2018.

  1. Queen of Strawberries
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    Queen of Strawberries Member

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    I use to have anorexia and now my parents are super sensitive about my eating and food choices. When I announced my intention to go vegan my parents threw a fit and said (I do quote) "No. Not happening."
    I feel very strongly that humans have no right to kill animals - we wouldn't want it done to us, but my parents are just dead against it (plus they don't believe I can get protein on a vegan diet)and nothing I've tried will convince them that my decision isn't because of wanting to restrict more food groups (I'm currently gluten, soy, cow dairy (not goat dairy), fructose and sucrose (to types of sugars) free)
    I told my parents I'd be willing to try to work soy, gluten, and the sugars back in (I'm intolerant not allergic to all of those things and sometimes I wonder if I'm truly intolerant or my anorexia made me think I was) but they said "No." again.
    Tonight I ate a hamburger after giving my final "I Will Go Vegan Speech". I told my parents that I will eat meat if/when they give it to me but I don't accept eating murdered animals as morally or ethically right. I also said that once they think i'm "recovered from anorexia enough" to "handle my own meal plan" I will not be eating meat anymore.
    Right now my stomach hurts / is gurgling from eating meat and I feel like I've betrayed my Veganism.
    Did I do the right thing?
    Please any and every response will be appreciated.
    Thank You
     
  2. Lou
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    Lou Active Member

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    You are in a tough spot. First and thing I want to say and I'll repeat it at the end cause I don't want you to forget about it is that you have to be patient. You have your whole life in front of you. Take your time. Enjoy the ride. These things take time.

    Next, I feel I should mention that ... not sure how to say this... well. let's just dive in.

    Young women are known to mask anorexia with veganism. *
    This happens so often that physicians have written numerous papers on it.
    Sure, healthy people should be thin. Healthy people are often considered underweight by the medical profession. Young women are often underweight when using the charts based on averages and stuff.
    But anorexia is a real disease. It hospitalizes and even kills people every year. And some of the consequences of anorexia are lifelong.
    So it's not unusual for a doctor (or a parent) to err on the side of caution and dismiss a young woman's desire to be vegan.

    So again, you are in a tough spot. You are swimming upstream.

    So what to do?

    First off, you are not the first person with this issue. The Vegetarian Resource Group has a FAQ on this subject. I would think this would be the best place to start.

    http://www.vrg.org/teen/telling_your_parents.php

    There are a bunch of teenage vegans who have videos on this subject on YouTube. I haven't watched any of them and I imagine that some may not be of any help at all. But you might want to check a few out. Bite Size Vegan is a well-respected adult YouTube vegan. She has a video on the subject.

    http://bitesizevegan.com/vegan-life...-let-me-go-vegan-advice-from-real-vegan-kids/

    Here are a couple of suggestions for dealing with your parents.
    You really need to see your doctor. There are tests for gluten, soy, and lactose sensitivity. Let's get that stuff figured out.

    From what I have learned about ED, counting calories is bad, but meal plans are good. Your doctor should be able to recommend a Registered Dietician. Under many health plans, if your doctor "prescribes" an RD, your parent's insurance will pay for at least some of it. And you really only need one visit. Any RD you see should be able to create a plant-based meal plan. And I doubt a hamburger would be on any responsibly made meal plan.

    Volunteer to help out with the cooking and shopping. It will be good practice for you when you go off on your own. Check out a vegan cookbook from the library or find a recipe online that people might like. Volunteer to cook it. You should also help your mom with the shopping list and maybe even the shopping. And when you help your mom with the shopping you can help her choose ingredients for more vegan meals and snacks.

    In the meantime, just eat the non-meat things in the house. Make sure to get all your nutrients no matter what.


    *https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/real-healing/201211/vegetarianism-and-eating-disorders
    https://www.vice.com/en_uk/article/59d5jq/vegans-shouldnt-ignore-the-existence-of-eating-disorders
    http://nedic.ca/sites/default/files/files/Vegetarianism and disordered eating.pdf
     
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  3. Queen of Strawberries
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    Queen of Strawberries Member

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    Young women are known to mask anorexia with veganism. *

    OH YES! I totally understand this! I've read a lot about Anorexics hiding restricting behind "heathy Veganism" and I've questioned (a lot of times) my own motives for becoming Vegan - but I really am doing it for the animals.
    I've promised myself I won't limit my vegan food to just "healthy foods" such as nuts/seeds/fruit/nut milk/nut butter/potatoes and I will allow myself to have vegan ice-cream and candy and potato chips and I've already found vegan versions of some of my favorite holiday foods (cinnamon rolls, birthday cake, Christmas cookies, pumpkin pie)
    (I know I still have a slight problem with food because part of me gets upset that I'm planning on having all of these desserts - but I know that's stupid and EVERYONE eats sweets and treats)
    Sorry I rambled, but thank you for your reply and concern.

    EDIT: sorry I forgot to say thank you for the links they are very helpful : )
     
  4. Lou
    Mind-Blowing

    Lou Active Member

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    Sounds good. but....
    Although you should allow yourself to eat some treats. Always TRY to eat a healthy alternative instead. instead of vegan ice cream (every night :)) make yourself a healthy banana peanut butter smoothie.
    Some cakes and cookies are ok. but not every day.

    If you don't have to worry about getting fat you can eat all the nuts, fruits, seeds, grains, dried fruits, and potatoes you want. I wish I could.
     
  5. Queen of Strawberries
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    Queen of Strawberries Member

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    LOL I wasn't planning on having the stuff everyday but just once in a while.:yum
    yeah even vegan cookies aren't made for daily consumption.
     
  6. Lou
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    Lou Active Member

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    Good. I suppose I was just projecting. I would have Chocolate non-dairy ice cream every day if it wouldn't make me fat.

    Now ask your parents if you can go to see a doctor about those food sensitivities. And then maybe an RD.
     
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