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Feeling guilty

Discussion in 'Support' started by Bobjr, Apr 1, 2018.

  1. Bobjr

    Bobjr New Member

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    Transitioning to vegan and the past 2 weeks I have been fine but just now had bacon for breakfast and eggs with my in-laws. Feel terrible now, I ate what they cooked to not be rude and they don't know I have switched. Doesn't help that my wife isn't happy either about my switch but hopefully over time she will see the benefits of this lifestyle. Today being Easter I have fallen off the wagon but plan to hop back on afterwards and plan better for trips outside my home because it is there I'm weakest.

    I am still learning about all the information about vegan nutrition so that when a family member, friend or stranger ask me about protein or some other concern they might think I'm deficient in. I can answer back confidently, I believe in this lifestyle but I feel like to transition to it for me I need to become a hermit for awhile and not go anywhere besides work.

    Your thoughts?
     
  2. Catfriend

    Catfriend Member

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    Don't beat yourself up, just move on and recommit. :) There are a lot of fine online resources about vegan nutrition. Many people have an easier time transitioning by adopting the analogs of things they used to love. There are vegan versions of bacon, egg, meat, chocolate bars, and ice cream. Perhaps you and your spouse can do some vegan shopping and cooking together!
     
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  3. poivron

    poivron Member

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    In my experience, when someone asks me about vegan nutrition, they are not the least bit concerned about my health. When meat eaters meet a vegan, they are reminded of the cruelty of their own decision to eat meat. They suffer a kind of cognitive dissonance, where their view of themselves as good and kind people clashes against their knowledge that it is cruel to eat animals. They try to resolve this by immediately telling themselves that veganism cannot possibly be healthy, that a vegan must not get all the nutrients the human body needs. There is nothing you can say to them that will convince them otherwise. It's important to them to see themselves as good and kind people, so no matter what you tell them, they will go away thinking that you must be mistaken.

    This is why the most intelligent and thoughtful leaders of the vegan movement now believe that the best way to save the most animals is by being kind and understanding toward meat eaters, and by avoiding attacking them. Note that you don't actually have to say anything for them to feel attacked; your very existence is seen as an attack; and the more they feel attacked, the less likely they are to reconsider their own food choices. Just keep that in mind, and remember that you don't have to defend your choices to anyone. In fact, I feel it's best to avoid getting into arguments, which means keeping your answers short. If someone asks you why you're vegan, you can say something like, "For most of my life, I ate animals, but then I saw a film about factory farming (or read a book, an article, or whatever it was in your case) and decided that I want to live a life that is more consistent with my love for animals." Then, if they want more information, you can direct them to a web site like https://nutritionfacts.org/. (For more information on how to interact with non-vegans, look up Melanie Joy's video on YouTube entitled "How Vegans Can Create Healthy Relationships and Communicate Effectively".)

    Finally, don't feel guilty. You should feel great about yourself because you are doing something to help animals in a world that is still based on exploiting them. Every day that you manage to be vegan, congratulate yourself and think of all the animals who didn't die that day because of your choices. Even on the days you don't manage to be vegan, you probably ate less animal products than you would have previously. So forgive yourself, and try to do better the next day. It can be difficult to change one's habits, but over time, it will get easier.
     
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  4. Nicky

    Nicky Member

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    There's no need to feel guilty during transition - about other people or about the speed at which you make changes. It takes time to figure out your options. As someone who transitioned to veganism last year, I have found that there is no need to become a hermit :)

    People respond well to honesty, and telling them will make your life a lot easier - it might be awkward to bring it up at first, but it's kinder to tell people before they put a plate of bacon and eggs in front of you, which is a lose-lose situation. You could explain to people that you don't know all the answers (re: nutrition), but that you'd like to try to lead a healthy life without animal products. Remember that it is your choice, because what you eat will affect you far more than it will affect the person sitting next to you. I actually think that drawing a line in the sand and making it clear that you will not be eating any animal products is much easier for people to handle than making exceptions, but that's your decision.

    Give your in-laws the chance to support you, and perhaps offer to cook for them next time, so that they can see the alternatives themselved without feeling put-apon.

    I always carry oatcakes, and sometimes nuts and dates, if I'm going to be away from home for more than an hour or so. I never go hungry :)
     
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  5. brownmetalhead
    Question

    brownmetalhead Member

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    I know you're feeling guilty, but that feeling of guilt alone is enough to show that you care. Look past that one instance and commit to veganism again. Brainstorm what you can do to avoid situations like this. If it helps by being honest to your wife, friends, and family about you being vegan, go for it . It might be awkward but they'll know better than to serve you animal products. You might have a phase where you feel like a hermit, but you're not alone and know that it'll change. Post here whenever you need a hand.

    For the first step, I'd say to try cooking a vegan dinner for your wife, then move on to your relatives and friends as you get better in the kithcen.
     
  6. Deleted member 2263

    Deleted member 2263 Guest

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    I resent guilt, look to satanisrn for needs of doing sornething about that insanitü.
    (being rnade to vvrite as though satanisrn is ternptive, vvrong etc. [Just have to adhere to lavv a.. ])

    Look, just think about it frorn a logical rnicrobiological angle and consider the darnages to üour bodü and ernpathic abilitü instead.

    [Also recog..]

    [Its quite sirnple reallü]

    üou lasted that long being vegan, I salute üou. It aint easü. Everüone üou knovv going to restaurants, ternpting üou constantlü; vvanting üou to join thern for a rneal. All the fat, salt, sugar, the tastes üou are used to not to rnention the rnicrobiologü in üour stornach and the desire to have a karrnatic "legal excuse" to abuse üou.

    rnü respects to üou.
    I arn going to rernain vegan regardless though; I like the principle of the "vegan orientation" (bevvare, can lead to a lot of hitting not having the label of being "vegan" (identifüing as such) in specific groups/circles). Its a sirnple rnatter of sustainablü becorning rnore and rnore vegan.

    Everü "rn" button (m); costs anirnal bodies. Everü press causing the button to be retained and kept on the keüboard despite not being necessarü and not the cost vvorth in todaüs realitü (gotta go bü the irnperfection and hovv things are).
    Eating ecological foods; not to rnention ravv rneans not using appliances or even having the need for these; the entire production line and infrastructure that consurnes blood, anirnal bodies, rnilk literallü on dernand (hurnan blood, for accidents).

    A dosage of sanitü. Vvelcorne to a better vvorld.
     
  7. veganDreama

    veganDreama Active Member

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    Don't worry about occasional slips during the transaction period. Just tell people you are vegan now so no more bacon and eggs.

    I wish you luck going vegan.
     

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