Growing old is not for sissies

[Amy SF]

Thread for discussing how we manage getting older. The title of the thread was inspired by a book of photographs of senior athletes. These are the two most famous photos:



I also came across this magazine article from a few months ago that turned up in my Facebook feed. Whatever you think of Cher’s music, you have to admit she’s extraordinarily vibrant and energetic at 71. And she’s a vegetarian.

What Cher Actually Eats in a Day to Stay So Unbelievably Fit

I admit that wanting to be as fit in our golden years as these people can be a little intimidating, but we already have a head start because we’re part of a community that cares about what we eat.

 

[KLS52]

I think I am pretty fit but I just can't spend hours a day, anymore, worrying about how I look. I will never be "enough" at this point...young enough, thin enough, attractive enough, energetic enough...it's exhausting trying to keep up. It's part of the reason I decided to stop coloring my hair. I want people to know I'm getting older so I can stop pretending that I'm not. Embracing my oldness is really helping to take the pressure off.

Sorry if this isn't the direction the thread is supposed to be going.

 

[PTree15]

I know I've said this before, but I color my hair only because of my job. I fear ageism and losing my job, as I work in a young-ish company. I would love to stop a) because I would save a crap ton of money and b) I think I could rock the white hair! It's such a shame that aging is viewed so negatively in this country, especially toward women. There is a huge double standard in that regard. Men are considered "distinguished" when they rock the white hair, while women are regularly derided as "old hags" if they don't color their hair or wear a lot of makeup or they happen to gain a little weight. I can't tell you how many times people have said to me how much "better" I would look if I used a little makeup -- and this usually comes from other women, which is distressing. I wear makeup when I feel like it, not because some societal mores dictate it. Elders used to be revered, and now we are just considered irrelevant because we're "past our prime." Advertisers think we don't have any money, so after age 54, we're deemed fiscally irrelevant.

All that negativity aside, I do what I can to stay as healthy and fit as possible because I enjoy activities like hiking and cycling and just walking around. I also enjoy exercising, and I want to do it as long as I am able so that I can keep enjoying the hiking and other outdoor activities. I still retain some body-image issues, but I'm doing my best to embrace the present and not worry so much about what I look like. That has been a lifelong battle, and I'm trying to make my existence less about me and more about others. I'm not sure I'm articulating exactly what is going on in my head, but taking the focus off me and whatever body issues I have/had makes things less stressful in a way.

I've always had to work at being a half-full-glass kind of person (thanks, Mom, for making me realize the futility of pessimism at a young age, hahaha), and some days it is easier than others. I will not go quietly into irrelevance. And though I don't profess to know everything, I think I've gained enough knowledge to help the younger folks navigate some of the paths along the journey of life. I know I have always sought advice from older people; I figure they have more experience than I do, so they might offer suggestions I wouldn't think about.

 

[Mischief]

I've never been into spending a lot of time and effort to look a certain way, and don't really get other people's compulsion to do so. That hasn't changed with age.

I like/respect people who go their own way without worrying a whole lot about how others will perceive them in terms of status, appearance, etc.

I think that people who love what they are doing and/or who are committed to something apart from themselves are very attractive and remain that way.

These are women who, IMO, have aged beautifully: Jane Goodall, Judi Densh, Jamie Lee Curtis, Helen Mirren. As far as clothes go, each of them has a very individual style that suits her really well. IMO, they are lovely, and continue to become even more beautiful with the years.

 

[Mischief]

IME, there's an internal age that you tend to kind of settle into, and you tend to think of yourself as being that age, even though every once in a while your body gives you a sharp reminder that physically you're no longer that age. Others I have talked to describe the same thing, although I'm sure it's not universal. For me, that age is somewhere in my mid to late thirties.

 

[Mischief]

I know I've said this before, but I color my hair only because of my job. I fear ageism and losing my job, as I work in a young-ish company. I would love to stop a) because I would save a crap ton of money and b) I think I could rock the white hair! It's such a shame that aging is viewed so negatively in this country, especially toward women. There is a huge double standard in that regard.

Agreed. I had my hair colored for the same reason. That, and hairdressers act as though you're committing some cardinal sin if you don't color your hair as soon as you have a couple of grey hairs. I finally said to hell with it, I'm going to do what I want with my hair. For years after that, my sister kept telling me that I should color my hair, until she finally decided to go natural too. (I also cut my hair myself again, too. Hairdressers tend to want to give one helmet hair when one reaches a certain age, and I prefer a much less defined look.)

 

[KLS52]

All that negativity aside, I do what I can to stay as healthy and fit as possible because I enjoy activities like hiking and cycling and just walking around. I also enjoy exercising, and I want to do it as long as I am able so that I can keep enjoying the hiking and other outdoor activities. I still retain some body-image issues, but I'm doing my best to embrace the present and not worry so much about what I look like. That has been a lifelong battle, and I'm trying to make my existence less about me and more about others. I'm not sure I'm articulating exactly what is going on in my head, but taking the focus off me and whatever body issues I have/had makes things less stressful in a way.

Yes, I can relate to this.

It must be hard having to try and deal with ageism at your job so I get why you want to keep a more youthful image. And you're succeeding.

I have to say, going gray is easier but my color is very drab now and I still have some old color. It's pretty bad looking and I do hope to be able to cut it soon. The long length makes it easy to wear up or pulled back but it's very aging, especially now with the gray coming in. But I'm going to continue to try and hold out. I've had a few weak moments and thought I would just color it but then talked myself out of it.

 

[KLS52]

Back head shot haha.

 

[PTree15]

I love your curls, KLS. Great hair!

 

[Mischief]

Yes, KLS, you have great hair. I' m envious.

 

[KLS52]

Thank you...it's just so damned uncontrollable.

 

[SeamlessTeam]

I'm 23 and a guy and I have never actually stressed about the age. What I remember at younger age I even waited to be older. Oh, one thing I remember: my mom usually cut my hair all through my young years(I've never been to real hairdresser before and now my girl is doing the job!) and my mom always pointed out that my real dad had hair like mine, very thick and hard to cut but he started to lose hair at the age of 23 or so and I didn't want that to happen. I kind of feared that now I have no choice to start going bald in my 20s! But so far so good and I have no intentions going bald!
Year or so ago my "fiancee" pointed out I had one extra-gray hair. I was like wow, really?! I pulled it out and it was completely white and it didn't affect my negatively at all, it was actually kind of cool!

Chest gets more hairy, which is nice. Face gets more hairy, which is nice, so...aging, here I come!

 

[Mischief]

I'm 23 and a guy and I have never actually stressed about the age. What I remember at younger age I even waited to be older. Oh, one thing I remember: my mom usually cut my hair all through my young years(I've never been to real hairdresser before and now my girl is doing the job!) and my mom always pointed out that my real dad had hair like mine, very thick and hard to cut but he started to lose hair at the age of 23 or so and I didn't want that to happen. I kind of feared that now I have no choice to start going bald in my 20s! But so far so good and I have no intentions going bald!
Year or so ago my "fiancee" pointed out I had one extra-gray hair. I was like wow, really?! I pulled it out and it was completely white and it didn't affect my negatively at all, it was actually kind of cool!

Chest gets more hairy, which is nice. Face gets more hairy, which is nice, so...aging, here I come!

You're still in the growing up stage; it'll be quite a while before you are "aging."

 

[SeamlessTeam]

You're still in the growing up stage; it'll be quite a while before you are "aging."

sorry, I crawl back under my youngster table :'(

 

[Amy SF]

Wrt gray hair: I’ve been coloring mine brown for years now. I’m now living in a place where most residents have gray hair, so it doesn’t matter if I let mine go completely gray at this point. (I’m 58, and I started going gray at age 27, like my mother.) But my sister, who’s four years older, still dyes her hair, and it always looks great; I guess I’m a little vain, and a little competitive, because I won’t let my hair go gray until she does. I honestly think I look younger with dyed hair.

Oh, and it’s now a fashion “thing” among millennials to dye their hair gray, which annoys me, because who wants gray hair when they’re young? I certainly didn’t. Why can’t they appreciate their youth while they still have it, and dye their hair green instead?

 

[PTree15]

Wrt gray hair: I’ve been coloring mine brown for years now. I’m now living in a place where most residents have gray hair, so it doesn’t matter if I let mine go completely gray at this point. (I’m 58, and I started going gray at age 27, like my mother.) But my sister, who’s four years older, still dyes her hair, and it always looks great; I guess I’m a little vain, and a little competitive, because I won’t let my hair go gray until she does. I honestly think I look younger with dyed hair.

Oh, and it’s now a fashion “thing” among millennials to dye their hair gray, which annoys me, because who wants gray hair when they’re young? I certainly didn’t. Why can’t they appreciate their youth while they still have it, and dye their hair green instead?

When I was in college, I had shoulder-length hair with bangs and I used to dye my ends and bangs various shades of purple and green when we'd go out clubbing to watch our local punk rock bands.

 

[Moll Flanders]

I used to colour my hair either dark brown or blonde until I was about 35 years old. One of my friends said that while I don't have any grey hair I should keep my natural colour, so I have. I'm 41 now and I definitely think that health problems have lined up since my very late 30s/ early 40s.

I'm trying to be more healthy now as when I was younger I took my health for granted. I don't know if I thought that being veggie from the age of 17 was some type of magic pill. Turns out, it wasn't.

 

[Mischief]

sorry, I crawl back under my youngster table :'(

Just kidding you; I had no intention to scare you away.

Actually, I was about your age when I noticed my first "aging" change. Up until that point, I had been able to pull several all nighters per week and have no diminution in function the next day. Then, from one semester to the next, I dragged so much if I had pulled an all nighter the night before that it wasn't worthwhile to do anymore, unless I was up against a very specific deadline.

 

[KLS52]

There is a young woman at work who has her hair done gray. She happens to be very tall, thin and super attractive...and 23. I love the look on her.

 

[Mischief]

There is a young woman at work who has her hair done gray. She happens to be very tall, thin and super attractive...and 23. I love the look on her.

I think it's a very striking look on young people.

And it helps in de-stigmatizing gray and white hair.

I've also always liked the wild colors in hair, especially multiple shades of purple, or pink, etc. Unfortunately, I had to have a conservative look when young, because of my profession, and once you get old, eccentric verges too readily onto "crazy."