Advertisement
  1. We have a moderator position available, click here for more information!
    Dismiss Notice

Help, advice needed

Discussion in 'Support' started by Steadylee68, May 13, 2018.

  1. Steadylee68

    Steadylee68 Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2018
    Messages:
    5
    Location:
    Devon, UK
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Lifestyle/Diet:
    Vegan Newbie
    Hello,

    This is my first post on here, and my first post on any forum for many years. I will do my best to explain.
    I am a new vegan, coming up to two months now. I changed my diet mainly for the ethical side, my health is secondary. I have recently been discussing the whole vegan movement with a friend who's a non vegan.
    I am finding myself to be very passionate about the ethical side of veganism, probably too passionate and it's already starting to become an issue for me mentally. I have Aspergers and this often means I can fixate on a particular issue that I like and find it near on impossible to switch off from it. I have a friend who drives me to work each day, and for the past two months on and off I have been asking him lots of questions regarding the vegan lifestyle and the meat and dairy industry which disgusts me. The main problem is I can't seem to stop asking him questions about why he's unwilling to make any change. He's very contradicting with his answers, this could be straight up cognitive dissonance. He gives me the impression that he'd consider changing, but does absolutely nothing. I find this very frustrating. I have no other friends by choice. I just wish he would say to me, stop , I have had enough, but he says he's thick skinned and can handle it. I do not believe him totally. I think I have gotten under his thick skin. He won't admit this to me though and I can sense an atmosphere. Things often get a little heated on the commute. My tone can be abrupt, due to my honesty and my asperger passion regarding the vegan way of living. I can't seem to quit. I cling on to the hope that one day he may see things differently. I cannot work him out. I feel like a burden at times. I feel I need to vent to someone else for advice, hence this message. I am hoping someone on here can steer me down a more peaceful path. I do not have the ability to just stop my thoughts and feelings. My Aspergers is severe. No one told me going vegan could damage your mind and become all encompassing at times. There is no way I could go back to my old diet. I could add so much more, but I want to see what type of responses I get first. This site looks decent. Thanks for reading.
    Lee
     
  2. rogerjolly
    Breezy

    rogerjolly Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2017
    Messages:
    118
    Location:
    Yorkshire
    Ratings:
    +37 / 0 / -0
    Lifestyle/Diet:
    Vegan
    Hi Lee,

    I was hoping that somebody with a lot more knowledge about Asperger’s than myself would reply to you. But, since nobody yet has, here is my tuppence worth.

    I am part way towards understanding obsessiveness. I have been there with scuba diving. It took over for a while! I have never considered my veganism as an obsession. It is just my way of life.

    You no doubt will have read many posts on this forum about vegans' problems with friends and partners which are similar to your own though not as severe. The consensus seems to be that you do far more harm than good with persistent preaching.

    One of my favourite modern “philosophers” has a line that I often find helpful:

    “I gotta be cool, relax, get hip” Freddie Mercury

    Good luck,

    Roger.
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2018
    • Like Like x 2
  3. Steadylee68

    Steadylee68 Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2018
    Messages:
    5
    Location:
    Devon, UK
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Lifestyle/Diet:
    Vegan Newbie
    First of all, Thank you for responding Roger. That means a lot. This post has had 67 views but only one response, yours! Not sure why I have had only one response, I was told this site would offer lots of support and advice on this kind of issue. I have had a private conversation from another member though, which has helped me see things differently. I am trying hard to back off and ease up from any future discussions with my omnivore friend. This past week I haven't said much to him, he seems to have some other stuff going on in his life and I gotta respect that. We are talking still, mainly about his other problems though. I find it a little sad that we can talk about other problems bothering him, but I cannot talk about something bothering me. Looks like being kind and compassionate has got me in trouble. That is surely not right. I try to help him a lot and give him the best advice I can. This is why the world is so messed up, people can't talk things through and make things better, or at least try to.
    Thanks for your message and cool quote from Freddie

    Lee
     
  4. hopeful
    Creative

    hopeful Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2018
    Messages:
    106
    Ratings:
    +22 / 0 / -0
    Lifestyle/Diet:
    Vegan
    I have autism, so I really understand obsessive thoughts! I went through a period of sort of trying to get my partner to be vegan, but I dropped it because it was annoying her. But, veganism wasn't one of my "special interests." I am interested in it, it's just not something I obsess over.

    Sorry I don't have any advice. I just wanted to let you know that you're not the only one on the spectrum on this site.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Steadylee68

    Steadylee68 Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2018
    Messages:
    5
    Location:
    Devon, UK
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Lifestyle/Diet:
    Vegan Newbie
    Thank you for your message. Point taken. I appreciate any input regardless of quantity. I am also pleased to hear that there are other autistic people on here. I feel isolated enough. Hope to hear from you again, thanks

    Lee
     
  6. winston10

    winston10 Member

    Joined:
    May 1, 2018
    Messages:
    25
    Ratings:
    +7 / 0 / -0
    Lifestyle/Diet:
    Vegan Newbie
    Focusing on what humans do to animals is very unhealthy. If I catch myself thinking about it I get very depressed and start to veiw non vegans in a very disgusting light - this is not healthy.
    This was a memorable scene to me from the movie Wyatt Earp. At the end of this clip, Doc Holliday says "there is no hook my friend, there's only what we do." What this says to me, and I find very true, is that all the thoughts, guilt we feel about things we or others have done, intentions, etc etc is nothing but wasted energy. It's only what we do in our actions that matters. You have chosen not to support dairy industry and factory farming industries, and you have put this to action. That's all you can do, feel good about your choice, you don't need to save the world.
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2018
  7. Steadylee68

    Steadylee68 Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2018
    Messages:
    5
    Location:
    Devon, UK
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Lifestyle/Diet:
    Vegan Newbie
    Thanks for your response. I totally agree with your comment regarding what humans do to animals. I find it hard to simply just switch off my feelings on this topic. I am hurting knowing that this is going on every second of every day. I hope this is a phase and it subsides. Part of me don't want to fully switch off though. What bothers me most is that some people who have amassed the same knowledge as ourselves can continue their cruel dietry lifestyle without wanting to change. The epitome of selfishness. Is it as simple as some people just don't care enough. I just don't understand people. You are right, I can't change the world. But I can make positive small changes in my own world. Thanks for your input and the video clip, very interesting.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice