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Help with my daugthers father!

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Bellsawoodie, Feb 18, 2018.

  1. Bellsawoodie

    Bellsawoodie New Member

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    Hello,

    I'm a vegan and my husband is a vegetarian (his only new so he will join Vegan when he is ready lol). My 9 year old daughter (which I had with my Narcissistic ex husband) suddenly became interested in why we eat this way. She we explain (gently) why we don't eat meat. Also, showed her Bite Size Vegan kids series off You Tube (loved them). Knowing my daughter has the biggest heart for animals we knew one day she would stop eating them - however had to respectively let her work this out herself.

    So we went to her father's for the first time since being vegetarian. And it did not go down well at all :-( He and his partner sat her down and did the whole your not getting enough protein etc. Plus even took her to a naturopath who also told her 'if you don't eat meat you would get enough protein'. My daughter is now really upset! She doesn't want to eat meat, however is stuck cause her dad is one that actually forcibly makes her eat it. Also i'm now getting aggressive emails from him that i'm not being a good parent, i'm making my daughter sick, 9 year old shouldn't be told eating meat is murder and if you love animal you shouldn't eat them bla bla bla.

    I can take on his stupid emails - they dont bother me. Just want to know if there is anyone in the same situation with the two families that can give some advise to help my daughter out. I suggested to her to just eat meat while at dad's - you are only there 2 night a fortnight, but she got upset cause she doesn't want to eat it regardless. Keep in mind he is an aggressive man and we have a DVO out on him so making him see reason will not work.

    Thanks for your help.
     
  2. alleycat

    alleycat Active Member

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    If your ex is forcing your daughter to eat meat that is abuse. Go to your social worker,counsellor, solicitor. Your daughter has the right to choose her own lifestyle. Forcing her to eat meat is psychological and emotional torture so could be added to the DVO.
     
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  3. mikek
    Surfing

    mikek Member

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    IMO your daughter shouldn't be forced, bullied or coerced to do anything - eat meat or not eat meat.
    To a meat eater, vegan may seem extreme & your ex might be genuinely worried if your daughter was to become vegan, but veggie shouldn't be an issue at all.
    It's your daughter's choice.

    Difficult situation. I hope it works out.
     
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  4. Jamie in Chile

    Jamie in Chile Active Member

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    Very tricky - try to work with your ex on making him see that vegan diets are good for health, you can quote x and y health organizations that say vegan diets are good for your health, over time, you might be able to reduce this objection a bit. Make sure he understands that x y and z vegan foods have just as high protein as meat, that kind of thing.

    Try and get your ex to see you are not forcing the opinions, but you think your daughter should choose.

    Be patient - it won't work straight away.

    Consider compromise - cheese/butter at his house, vegan at yours.
     
  5. Forest Nymph
    Scurvy

    Forest Nymph Active Member

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    Your ex is abusive. I was forced to eat meat as a child. Its not OK.
     
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  6. Evelyn Smith

    Evelyn Smith Member

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    I agree that your ex is abusive.
     
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  7. winston10

    winston10 Member

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    Who has primary custody of her? Either his motives stem from control/abuse or he is just plain ignorant. Send him emails of the amount of protein/ounce found in the foods you eat compared to the protein/ounce found in the meat he eats and his response will tell you where his motives are coming from. Hopefully he's just ignorant, othwerwise I agree with someone who mentioned filing a report with social services for abuse.
     
  8. Genuine Mathias
    Balanced

    Genuine Mathias Member

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    I can empathize with you and your daughter because my father is controlling as well as verbally and physically abusive. He could not be reasoned with either. I hope, for your daughter’s sake, the situation improves. It may be beneficial to have supervised visitation, if possible.

    I realized my father was an inconsiderate human the day he threw one of our hunting dogs in the bayou and shot it while she was trying to swim to the bank. His reason was, “That dog didn’t hunt."

    I hope your ex isn’t as extreme as my father was.
    When a person causes more harm than good, I simply remove them from my life. A person is under no obligation to affiliate themselves with someone who is abusive, period.
     
  9. veganDreama

    veganDreama Active Member

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    Poor child. She should not be made to eat meat.
     

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