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I don't know if this is relevant to your situation, but...


Quite some time ago, "Vegetarian Times" magazine featured an article about vegetarian Eileen Goudge (Gouge?), who is a rather successful writer of paperback novels such as "Garden of Lies" and "Blessing In Disguise" (I haven't read them, but they sold well). Ms Goudge recounted her difficult past, including marriage difficulties, poverty, and- worst of all- a serious lack of self-esteem (although she did believe she could write well). If I remember right, her situation improved only when some of her manuscripts were accepted by a publisher, and her confidence started to grow.


One other thing: you obviously don't believe that a rat who might be used as food for another animal is a "waste of life". And NEITHER ARE YOU.


Edited to add: You've said (more or less) that you don't know of anything useful which you're good at. I find it hard to believe that you have no useful aptitudes or talents, but since I don't know you, and since you (understandably) might not want to divulge much personal information about yourself on the internet, I'm sort of against a wall. I'll try to come up with some other ideas, but can't promise anything.