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Non-vegan bf buys mcdonalds

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Livy, Apr 28, 2018.

  1. Livy
    Angelic

    Livy Member

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    Hello everyone

    The topic of this post started with a couple discussion

    My bf and I have been together for 2 years, he knows I am vegan and so far he respect it, I am also very aware og he being non-vegan, whichI also respect. In general, we both don't have a problem at all with out different eating style. I always feel like I can talk to him and share my opinions about the meat industries cuz he will always listen to and also have something to say about it, he doesnt agree with the cruelty of animals, but still he wont quit eating meat, "at least not for now", he said. In other worlds he is consciously and aware of where the food comes from and the horrific life this animals have, also knows about the hormones this are giving and passe also to his body. That's fine. He knows....and for all this times he has been eating meat at home, with friends, and no eating, meat at all when he is with me.

    What bothers me is, he went to buy food at McDonalds for the first time in a very loooooong time. I was very confused when he told me, I asked him why he did it, and why now make that decision and support such a horrible company. He is very aware of how bad McDonalds is, and still he bought food from there. It's the first time in y life with him, that I was very upset about his food choices, I have never ever tried to put anything on him. but this time I could not stop myself from being upset about he giving his money for such a crappy food, when he could eat home something better.

    He got very mad at me, and accused me of putting my life choices upon him. And I have never ever done that before, first time I did it and he went all crazy about I was being disrespectful and gave me the chat about how he makes his own life choices, which I know he can, BUT really McDonalds?!! -_-

    I dont know how to deal with this kind of problems, I never had to deal with before. What could you have done in my place? any comments will be appreciate. How I can accept this, I though he knows how bad this is for him, and other people. Still I love him...and I want the best for him.. and animals ofc.
     
  2. Genuine Mathias
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    Genuine Mathias Member

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    The most important foundations in a successful long term relationship are values. The second would be communication.
    You value a vegan lifestyle and he does not.
    This topic has been covered before and you can find many answers related to a question like this.
    The choice is ultimately yours. Use your critical thinking skills (logic) to help make your decision.
    In my opinion, if he doesn’t appreciate life on this planet as much as you do, you two should part ways.
     
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  3. Livy
    Angelic

    Livy Member

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    Thank you for your comment and advice I will keep it into consideration, all I see is that nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes, I would probably calm down and accept not every body is me, I wish one day he will open his mind ^^'
     
  4. Consistency
    No Mood

    Consistency Active Member Banned

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    I like the following article.

    http://guidespeak.com/chapters/32-confusing-loyalty-with-integrity/

    I highly agree with the first part.

    I'm not trying to derail this thread however I wish more people knew that not everybody is born with Ajna(logical energy in the brain) just like not everybody is born with life force worker bee gut energy, will power heart energy, emotional energy, healing spleen energy, life direction energy, speaking energy, etc.. We are all different and unique.
     
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  5. Genuine Mathias
    Balanced

    Genuine Mathias Member

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    Yes we are all different. These energies you mention are a very interesting way to categorize differences.
     
  6. poivron

    poivron Member

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    The problem here, I think, is that he doesn't feel that he would be making a "free choice" if he went vegan. He feels that he would be allowing you to impose your own choices on him. People like to be in charge of their own lives and to make their own decisions. I think that, strategically, you would be increasing his chances of going vegan if you made a point of genuinely "respecting" his choice not to be vegan right now. I know that it's difficult to respect a choice that harms animals, the environment, and one's own health, but it's possible to do so by realizing that everyone follows a certain path in life, based on their own personal experiences and situation. He's just not currently at a place in his life where he is able and ready to go vegan. Give him some space, and I think he will, eventually.

    Has he at least reduced the amount of animal products he eats as a result of his relationship with you? If so, it's probably better to congratulate him when he does well than criticize him when he doesn't. Most people don't react well to criticism. But you don't want your appreciation or congratulations to seem manipulative. Instead, really try to allow him his right to make his own decisions about his own life. This is just my opinion, and I'm actually curious to find out if it works. Good luck!
     
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  7. Livy
    Angelic

    Livy Member

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    Thank you for your respond, now I understand that it was not good of me to get mad at him. And yes, he has been doing very well, when he is with me he will stop eating meat at least, maybe one or another day he buys to himself some candies, or chips. But beside that....I am very happy that at least he understands that harm caused in animal, and how bad this food is for him. He is really making his own choices, I don't have nothing to do with it.
     
  8. hitesh kumar
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    hitesh kumar New Member

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    in my case..i have a non vegetarian girlfriend... She is hard core meat eater(when i am not along with her). but when we are together on date. she always wants meat. i want situations like meat and all that stuff should not be eaten in front of me. it took her a while to comprehend that i cant stay while someone is ripping meat out.So she started to do stuffs like spirituality and coz its how i manage my mind to be still. the reason we never had a fight. she said she will try to eat less meat being with me. as you may know "like attracts like"... one of you must contemplate about other interests(your bf tho), or i guess it would be a temporary relationship..like marriage kinda not serious.. anyway i never forced her to stop eat meat .. that wont work. she started observing me .. being perfectly pleased with vegetarian stuff..so she almost switched to it. and being a vegan i cant marry someone non-vegetarian. that scared her haha.. but still now it doesnt happen the meat thing. thanks! i hope i am not too late..10th may 2018. well thats all!
     
  9. veganDreama

    veganDreama Active Member

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    Is he really worth bothering with? I don't think I could really love someone who wasn't also vegan/vegetarian but that's just me. I guess I'll die single. Sigh....
     
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  10. Forest Nymph
    Scurvy

    Forest Nymph Active Member

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    I think that vegans have a strange tendency to allow meat eaters to emotionally manipulate them, that's what I think. Being in a LTR with a meat eater and calling it "respect" or "different styles" reminds me of a feminist dating a misogynist, or a social justice warrior dating a white supremacist, and saying they "respect" the difference.

    People have divorced over Donald Trump and frequently break up when one partner gets sober and the other continues with addiction.

    Vegetarians I understand because it's a gray area for them but eating McDonald's hamburgers is about as ethical as supporting garments made by child labor.

    My condolences that you're attached to this person.
     
  11. Forest Nymph
    Scurvy

    Forest Nymph Active Member

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    I know I kept telling my ex husband not to own slaves and he didn't release his chained servants until I shut my nagging mouth.
     

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