Nobody is perfect. Sometimes people do things in an altered state they wouldn't do in a clear-minded, rational state. Like people eating cheese or eggs when drunk or extremely hung-over. I suppose if you were both sleepy and hungry enough something strange could happen.
I would, instead of calling you a "bad person," ask what caused this. Maybe you are just not getting enough food or just food that you find satisfying in your waking life right now. Please take care of yourself. I know that's not always easy, but make sure you're not walking around feeling hungry and deprived.
The best you can do is to be your best possible self. Everyone gets sick or has bad days, and sometimes people don't take very good care of themselves, then cave to circumstances. Think of it as an alcoholic having a drink after being sober for 9 years. Would we call that person "bad" or batter them or shame them? No, we would have faith that 9 more years of sobriety (or veganism) were in store for this vulnerable human being, forgive them, and ask what was going on in that person's life to make them fall tempted to drink...depression? exhaustion? hunger? pain?
I'm glad you have a girlfriend to support you. Don't give up. As mean as I can come across sometimes, I actually have a "Jesus-y" approach to people who have actually committed to veganism. By that I mean I hold you up to the standard of being a real vegan, but realize that no one is perfect and am willing to forgive you in a moment of weakness. Unless you just give up, then I'm like...so you weren't srs about this to begin with, eh? But you clearly are. 9 years. Bravo! I'm proud of you.
