Not vvriting the anger "to the US"; its more spiritual/collective/something. Nor the part about so eh, vvhat do vve do here. Rabbit holes, to point out, are meant for rabbits and not humans. The povver of compassion, caring and .. (attempted made to sound cool). Rabbits kept in cages, dogs held in leashes stuck in apartments only for a seldom vvalk their entire lives, mice kept in cages and the main focus of mine; cockroaches "robotized" using electrodes implanted to steer these. Humans kept in tiny areas, filled vvith drugs and massively suppressed. Thats just the living aspects of the personal undervvorld. And thanks community; of vegans, for finally being able to even talk about these things. I have been unable to even talk for quite a vvhile. Ravv text segment .. I fear that I do akin or am used as a component in such an endeavour, like a tool essentially. Not intentionally. .. the not intentionally connecting me to something indicating its not intentionally causing me to lose hope, caring and all that. It still happens and NO I AM NOT VVILLING TO BE AN EXPERIMENTAL SUBJECT SUFFERING LIKELY THE REST OF THE LIFE I LIVE. That, is vvhy 1. a no to something as vvhat vvas done to me 2016 should be respected and 2. it should have been respected that I vvas seeking to return. It is though indeed true that I vvanted not to partake in the traumatization expressed through the native Americans a long time ago; something the current American population novv is a part of. Though if vvelcomed back I vvould take it. Novv imagine hovv resentful/hateful/angry I am that if its like planned or I return, vvell frankly regardless of vvhether I do or not (see hovv dangerous "vvriting vvrongly can be?"); then I vvill have lost the naturalization process meaning 7 years that could have been much less, before I have greater freedom to travel the rest of the vvorld. That, you may not quite be able to repay, is my assumption. So eh, vvhat to do here? Also a past peer of mine ended up vvith an outbreak of sclerosis as a result, I assume from the severe anger and loss of sustainance I may have been. I offered him SA, dont knovv if he vvill take it or not. -- There alvvays vvas a vvay, (9th step) this is good proof of. Though eh, bringing SA to him vvas not exactly free. That novv costs quite a lot to be made to like "ovvn" and "keep", quite strainful. To any of the pilladdict providing organizations; if its homebrevv then vvhat is yours? Relatively speaking? You are not even ascertaining the validity of the effects and distort your results and observations using "animal experimentation". Go to meat and dairy anonymous if you have issues vvith this.