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Went vegan and husband did not

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Ashley012115, Nov 16, 2018.

  1. Ashley012115

    Ashley012115 New Member

    Nov 16, 2018
    +0 / 0 / -0
    What do you do if you went vegan but your spouse didn't? Most of the time I can ignore it but sometimes I just don't understand how he doesn't care about the animals. I know this was me not long ago but it makes me cry that he has no empathy for them! he just says there is nothing I can do and that the animals will keep dying and that he doesn't care. :( . Am I crazy for thinking he is a bad person?
  2. StrangeOtter

    StrangeOtter Active Member

    Jun 20, 2018
    +52 / 0 / -0
    It's up to you what you do. It's clear that you have started to see things differently, you have grown as a person. Your husband reminds you of your past self that you may want to forget, maybe because you feel guilt for eating animal based broducts for all those years? What you can do is to process your feelings and thoughts and try to forgive yourself.
    I find it a pity that people oftentimes consider divorce instead of resolving their problems. Ofcourse I wouldn't encourage anyone to stay in a abusive relationship, but usually people, when they want to break up, they are trying to escape themselves, not their loved one.

    When you say that he doesn't care about animals, when and how does he say that? In what kind of situation you ask him questions? These things can be hard to understand for him, because he hasn't been thinking them through. Sometimes humans are just so tired and busy with their own problems that they can't convey what they really think or compute what the other person is feeling or trying to say.
    One thing that I have discovered is that when you want to talk about something important, you can ask "Do you have time? I want to talk about someting with you." Avoid pressuring him into a conversation. He might say "no I don't have time right now. Can you ask again later?"

    What do you mean that you think that he is a bad person?
    Is he pressuring you into eating meat? Is he making fun of your decision? If so, he might be indeed a bad company to keep. If not, can you tell what you meant?
    You aren't crazy, but you might be confused and that's completely okay. Things are going to get better once you have brought your feelings into consciousness.

    I'm sorry if I seem insensitive, and I must explain that this isn't my purpose. I'm trying to bring my insights to light. I know these kind of things escalate quickly and are hurtful. It can also be difficult to see and smell the old products that you used to enjoy. As it can be conflicting when your loved one sees dead corpses as food.
    In here I wrote something more personal. I'm sorry if I completely misinterpreted what you were saying and what you were asking. Why I usually avoid giving direct advices on relationship matters is that they are complicated. It's easy to find comfort in someone elses truth instead of seeking truth from within, but that's ultimately destructive.
    I wish you all the best.

    And welcome to the forum!
    I'm glad that you have made an ethical decision to become a vegan.
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2018

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