This is a question from vegans that I always dread to answer. It has come to feel like a trap. In my experience, I've found that there is no good answer to this question when a vegan asks it. My answers have usually led to unwanted advice, shaming, or worse. Past responses to my answers, rather than focusing on the 99% of my life that I spend not eating meat, usually focus on the 1% of the time that I do eat some meat, often very little of it. Regardless of all of the absolutely rotten experiences I've had with this question, I will answer anyway.
A number of times a year I find myself in social or family situations where not eating meat that someone has made or provided would lead to awkwardness that I would prefer to avoid. These situations involve family or friends who I care about and I don't want to harm or weaken these relationships because of a serving or two of meat. I'm trying to find a balance between maintaining relationships that I want to preserve and not eating animal products. I tilt extremely heavily toward the latter, as I maybe eat meat once every few months, if that. Sometimes I go without eating any meat for months on end. As I've said on this forum before, if everyone ate as much meat as I did, the entire industry would collapse. I eat so little meat that my doctor recently did a double-take at my cholesterol level (i.e, it was almost perfect).
I've never cooked meat, never had any meat in my refrigerator or freezer and I have some serious philosophical and ethical concerns about its consumption. But, if others make it for me who don't fully understand my position, I have chosen to just eat it rather than get embroiled in a debate. Some might say then that these people aren't "true friends," so why should I bother with them? They are true friends, trust me. They are good people. They are products of a society that hasn't fully comprehended how we treat animals carelessly. I have compassion for them for that reason. They don't eat meat because they're bad people, they just don't have that point of view or framework. A lot of people, arguably most people, don't. Should I try to teach them? I could, but I guarantee they wouldn't understand and the situation would just become uncomfortable. I have, I believe, encouraged some of them to "cut down" for health reasons. They understand that. Once I return home, I go right back to a non-meat lifestyle, usually for weeks or months.
I no longer have any guilt over this decision. I no longer have any motivation to become a vegan. This lifestyle works for me. In the past. when I tried to become a vegan and told people this openly, someone would always come up with some way I was failing or not going far enough. Then they would accuse me of not living up to the word. The criticisms differed wildly from vegan to vegan. I stopped caring whether I was one or not and found a balance that works for me. I highly doubt that I will try again. But, I remain dedicated to a very, very low meat diet. I have not returned to my old lifestyle, the one I was raised on, of eating meat three times a day. I highly doubt that I ever will (not willingly, at least). So, I no longer tell people that I'm "99% vegan" because that offends many vegans. I've decided to avoid the word and the topic altogether. I come to this forum because, despite everything, I identify with many aspects of vegan lifestyles. But I've also accepted that "the movement" will never accept me because I still eat meat once in a great, great, great while. We have to accept the consequences of our decisions. I have.
