Accepting Carnist Friends?

[Tom L.]

@ewomack At one of my checkups, my doctor told me that "quite a few people would give their right arm" to have a cholesterol level like mine; I had mentioned my vegetarian diet as part of my health information. I didn't respond, except to say that I was glad to be healthy; cardiovascular disease runs in my family, as it does in many others. (I probably should have mentioned- politely!- that they wouldn't have to do anything so drastic as amputation- all they had to do was at least cut down on all that saturated fat.)

I haven't given up hoping that more people will become veg. But sometimes when I observe the things they do that harm themselves- e.g., overeating; not getting enough exercise (this is a big problem for many people I know); alcohol use; tobacco use (this last has decreased greatly, but people still do it- and a few even start using it these days)- it's hard for me to believe they would ever worry about harming animals. One co-worker of mine once remarked that, after eating out with vegetarians and seeing what they ate, it didn't seem so strange to him: we vegetarians were eating a lot of the same things everyone else eats. Then again, vegetarianism and veganism are much more common than they used to be.

 

[wildr0se2]

I can't live with so much hate/resentment/negative feelings that simmer within me when I deal with carnist people, even friends. I can't help but judge them (emotions of dispeace, dissonance to be precise). It is second nature. I seem unable to look beyond such strong emotions. But these strong emotions are incredibly draining. The world seems to get on without giving two hoots about my inner turmoil, and I am just worse off.

Furthermore, these carnist friends, simply won't change their dietary behaviour. They cite absurd reasons -- such as they want to eat meat to get along with their friends, their family -- and so please don't tell me to help them see the light, or guide them to watch documentaries when they are clearly not interested. I absolutely -- respectfully speaking -- don't want to hear that bit of advice, because these friends of mine simply won't change.

So, now, I would like to know how to become more accepting of these people? How do I live in the real world? Any objective strategies to become more tolerant? It's like I desire complete resonance with my closest friends, but this carnist-vegan issue really comes in the way, and keeps pricking my subconscious.

I just want to live my life man, without being accused of being a part of some cult, or feeling as if I am a horrible person to judge others. It's so exhausting, it often takes hours of my days.

I have always been vegetarian/vegan since birth. Born in a vegetarian home, and then transitioned.

Please help!

So my boyfriend is a carnist. As much as I disagree with the fact that he still eats meat and dairy, I cannot control his behavior. Veganism is within our control. We can take the necessary steps to advocate for animal rights, and at the same time, at the end of the day, we can't force someone to become vegan or change their views. Maybe you can encourage them to try a vegan dish, even if it means they don't become vegan? It might plant the seed in their minds about plant-based eating and vegan living.