News Dad Punishes Daughter For Bullying
- Thread starter shyvas
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I have no problem with making her walk to school. I think it's very appropriate.
I do have a problem with the public shaming that the father has engaged in by posting this on social media. I think that's totally inappropriate, and I would characterize it as abusive.
I do have a problem with the public shaming that the father has engaged in by posting this on social media. I think that's totally inappropriate, and I would characterize it as abusive.
OP
OP
I just think that the dad wanted to make other parents of bullies and also the latter, that bullying is a very serious matter.
Some parents take this lightly and will defend their child who is a bully. Later in life, they turn into bullying adults that we have all met at work or elsewhere.
Some youngsters never recover from having been bullied and some commit suicide or drop out of school.
I have a friend who niece (aged 16) has dropped out of school. She was bullied twice; in her former school and then onto the new school. To make matters worse, she went to see a hypnotist to get help and he abused her sexually.
Some parents take this lightly and will defend their child who is a bully. Later in life, they turn into bullying adults that we have all met at work or elsewhere.
Some youngsters never recover from having been bullied and some commit suicide or drop out of school.
I have a friend who niece (aged 16) has dropped out of school. She was bullied twice; in her former school and then onto the new school. To make matters worse, she went to see a hypnotist to get help and he abused her sexually.
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I agree that bullying is an extremely serious matter. You don't cure it by bullying the bully, which is what he's doing with this public shaming, and especially not since the girl has previously been bullied herself.
He can bring public attention to the seriousness of bullying without this public shaming of a 10 year old.
OP
OP
You have a point but to know that somethings hot, you have to put your finger into the fire.
I think most of us figure out that fire us hot by the warmth of the fire, without sticking our fingers into it. Otherwise, we'd all be walking around with burn scars on our hands. 
(I'm not sure how that relates to this father's shaming of his child, though. If he wants to show people how serious bullying is, there are unfortunately any number of news reports about children who have killed themselves because of bullying. Frankly, this seems to be more about this man's need to show the world his parenting "skills" than anything else.)
(I'm not sure how that relates to this father's shaming of his child, though. If he wants to show people how serious bullying is, there are unfortunately any number of news reports about children who have killed themselves because of bullying. Frankly, this seems to be more about this man's need to show the world his parenting "skills" than anything else.)
This discussion is going around on FB. I was surprised by the number of people who jumped on one woman who said that the shaming was a form of bullying. They proceeded to bully her. It was very uncomfortable for me. I hate that stuff. I did jump in to defend her point of view.
I agree, making her walk was ok, although five miles seems far, but the public shaming was totally inappropriate IMO.
“Shaming kids is an act of bullying. Bullying is picking on someone else’s weakness. This is what parents are doing by shaming children. They pick on their kids’ greatest weaknesses (e.g. the fear of being ridiculed, or the fear of being disrespected.)
The fear of being shamed and ridiculed is a basic feeling for humans. For kids, the desire to be accepted and appreciated by others, especially their parents, is a basic need and a very high priority. The more they want love and acceptance from others, the more powerful the shaming is.”
Shaming Kids: Good Parenting or Not? | Family Matters
I agree, making her walk was ok, although five miles seems far, but the public shaming was totally inappropriate IMO.
“Shaming kids is an act of bullying. Bullying is picking on someone else’s weakness. This is what parents are doing by shaming children. They pick on their kids’ greatest weaknesses (e.g. the fear of being ridiculed, or the fear of being disrespected.)
The fear of being shamed and ridiculed is a basic feeling for humans. For kids, the desire to be accepted and appreciated by others, especially their parents, is a basic need and a very high priority. The more they want love and acceptance from others, the more powerful the shaming is.”
Shaming Kids: Good Parenting or Not? | Family Matters
OP
OP
It would seem that many people have different opinions on the way the father proceeded to counteract the girl's bullying :
US dad makes 'bully' girl walk to school
US dad makes 'bully' girl walk to school
beancounter
The Fire That Burns Within
OP
OP
I used to walk ten miles to school every day. In blizzards. It was uphill both directions.
beancounter
The Fire That Burns Within
Yes we all walked to school everyday, and we did it without hyperbole or sarcasm..unlike some people....
Actually, I was quoting, roughly, a comedian from about forty or fifty years ago, who was making fun of old people who constantly cited their walks to school as evidence of how easy life is for modern younguns.Yes we all walked to school everyday, and we did it without hyperbole or sarcasm..unlike some people....
It just tickles my funny bone that people one or two more generations on are still making the same exact comments about how easy today's youth has it.
I can’t believe that went over my head, lol...the whole ten miles, in a blizzard, uphill...Actually, I was quoting, roughly, a comedian from about forty or fifty years ago, who was making fun of old people who constantly cited their walks to school as evidence of how easy life is for modern younguns.
It just tickles my funny bone that people one or two more generations on are still making the same exact comments about how easy today's youth has it.
beancounter
The Fire That Burns Within
Yes I know, I've heard that quote many times before, but it is still hyperbole in the context of the discussion, as no one was claiming anything close to walking uphill both ways.
FWIW, I have walked to school during heavy snow. 9 inches seemed to be the cut-off for a snow day.
Yes I know, I've heard that quote many times before, but it is still hyperbole in the context of the discussion, as no one was claiming anything close to walking uphill both ways.
FWIW, I have walked to school during heavy snow. 9 inches seemed to be the cut-off for a snow day.
Jokes often rely on hyperbole.
Jamie in Chile
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It was a good joke Mischief.
I don't think the punishment and shaming was appropriate.
Also, surely it's going to cause alarm for people to see a car trailing a young girl for miles? Probably they will see a car following a girl and think something suspicious is going on, and feel bad. I wonder if anyone went over to speak and clarify if he followed her all the way to school like that.
I think they could talk to her to make sure she understands the negative effect of bullying, have her learn about or perhaps even meet victims of bullying. This might have an effect. Since bullies are often themselves lacking in self esteem, he needs to address that possibility as well.
I am also against punishment in general for children. Alfie Kohn, in his unconditional parenting book and other writings, makes a decent case that punishments do not improve behaviour or teach a system of ethics, and create negative parent-child relationships.
I don't think the punishment and shaming was appropriate.
Also, surely it's going to cause alarm for people to see a car trailing a young girl for miles? Probably they will see a car following a girl and think something suspicious is going on, and feel bad. I wonder if anyone went over to speak and clarify if he followed her all the way to school like that.
I think they could talk to her to make sure she understands the negative effect of bullying, have her learn about or perhaps even meet victims of bullying. This might have an effect. Since bullies are often themselves lacking in self esteem, he needs to address that possibility as well.
I am also against punishment in general for children. Alfie Kohn, in his unconditional parenting book and other writings, makes a decent case that punishments do not improve behaviour or teach a system of ethics, and create negative parent-child relationships.
It's good that the father gives a reaction on the bullying, but the social shaming of kids thiese days most stop. I really don't think posting such things on the internet is the right way to raise children.
If I had a kid that was kicked out of the bus, he probably had to walk to school too. But that had been something between me and my kid, and those few it would concern. Not half of the world.
I had taken away phone, computer time, pocket money, internet access etc etc. But not posted on social media...
If I had a kid that was kicked out of the bus, he probably had to walk to school too. But that had been something between me and my kid, and those few it would concern. Not half of the world.
I had taken away phone, computer time, pocket money, internet access etc etc. But not posted on social media...
