Do you find it hard to get on with family who refuse to listen?

[PTree15]

That's great and I'm really glad to hear that you've inspired them to at least reduce their consumption of animal products. Massive respect to you. I think for me it's a particular issue because my parents were so horrible and punished me for going veggie as a child; I know most vegans don't feel this way but I felt guilty about eating meat since I was about 12 and am so angry with my parents for shutting down the moral side of me and myself for being manipulated by them; they have a way of making it sound as though everything they're saying is right even if it's actually rubbish and it's taken a long time for me to see through that. On top of this, when I tried to go veggie as a child my parents pointed to cows in fields and said they have a lovely life and that an animals are slaughtered humanely but recently when I've tried to tell them about the reality, they say I haven't told them anything they don't already know. Which means first of all they lied to me and secondly I can't understand why they aren't vegans if they know the truth - in my view they are so much worse than people who eat meat blindly! And they say they respect my views and are happy to cook vegan food for me if I go to visit but I feel that's only because they want to see me and if they truly respected my views, why didn't they do so when I was a child? It just feels too late now! Sorry if I'm ranting.

You caught on early and I commend you for that. Not to defend your parents, but most try to do the best they can. They've been brainwashed to think that meat is healthy, and they were just probably looking out for your health. All you can really do is live by example if they aren't willing to come around. Plenty of people know the reality of animal slaughter, but eating animals is so socially accepted that it's ingrained in most people. I didn't come around until my 30s. when a friend remarked on my dinner plate. I was eating chicken at the time, and she said I'd never eat chicken again if I knew how it got to my plate. I was taken aback, but that comment stuck with me and basically sent me on my journey to vegetarianism and veganism. You never know what will stick with people, so keep on doing what you're doing. If you remain angry and bitter, it won't do much for your mental health and will only show others that being vegan is miserable, lol. It's hard to accept certain flaws in others, but I try to remember that I'm far from perfect and am doing the best I can as well.

 

[mlod54]

You caught on early and I commend you for that. Not to defend your parents, but most try to do the best they can. They've been brainwashed to think that meat is healthy, and they were just probably looking out for your health. All you can really do is live by example if they aren't willing to come around. Plenty of people know the reality of animal slaughter, but eating animals is so socially accepted that it's ingrained in most people. I didn't come around until my 30s. when a friend remarked on my dinner plate. I was eating chicken at the time, and she said I'd never eat chicken again if I knew how it got to my plate. I was taken aback, but that comment stuck with me and basically sent me on my journey to vegetarianism and veganism. You never know what will stick with people, so keep on doing what you're doing. If you remain angry and bitter, it won't do much for your mental health and will only show others that being vegan is miserable, lol. It's hard to accept certain flaws in others, but I try to remember that I'm far from perfect and am doing the best I can as well.

I mean I suppose in one sense they were trying to do the best they could for me but in another sense I feel as though in some ways when people have children they subconciously use it as an excuse to be selfish and don't care what suffering they may be causing to others if it's for the good of their children. It's clear to me that a good vegan diet is best for us but even if it was worse for our health, would it be morally justifiable to pay for many sentient beings to be tortured and killed so that your child is in slightly better health? I do find it hard to get my head around how people can eat chicken all the time without thinking twice when that adds up to so many animals over time! Hats off to your friend for that remark, I think that shows that vegans can make a difference and make others see the light. I am positive with others but I feel as though my parents are so immoral and deceived me and the problem is they expect me to come and have a "nice time" with them but all I can think about is how terrible they are in my view so for me I feel my only real options are to see them but keep pushing my views, in which case they become angry and I feel miserable or just not to see them. I think that most people would understand if I refused to see my parents because they were murderers and given that they know the reality of the meat industry but insist on continuing to support it unnecessarily, this is how I see them to be honest but it's worse because most people wouldn't be able to understand how I could see them in that way.

 

[PTree15]

I mean I suppose in one sense they were trying to do the best they could for me but in another sense I feel as though in some ways when people have children they subconciously use it as an excuse to be selfish and don't care what suffering they may be causing to others if it's for the good of their children. It's clear to me that a good vegan diet is best for us but even if it was worse for our health, would it be morally justifiable to pay for many sentient beings to be tortured and killed so that your child is in slightly better health? I do find it hard to get my head around how people can eat chicken all the time without thinking twice when that adds up to so many animals over time! Hats off to your friend for that remark, I think that shows that vegans can make a difference and make others see the light. I am positive with others but I feel as though my parents are so immoral and deceived me and the problem is they expect me to come and have a "nice time" with them but all I can think about is how terrible they are in my view so for me I feel my only real options are to see them but keep pushing my views, in which case they become angry and I feel miserable or just not to see them. I think that most people would understand if I refused to see my parents because they were murderers and given that they know the reality of the meat industry but insist on continuing to support it unnecessarily, this is how I see them to be honest but it's worse because most people wouldn't be able to understand how I could see them in that way.

I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time of it. It is very hard to think about how many more people need to come around to veganism, but if I cut out everyone in my life who isn't vegan, I'd be pretty lonely, lol! I guess I can't be that black-and-white about people I love, either. People are flawed. Also, because I once suffered from that cognitive dissonance regarding the food on my plate, I feel as if I'm in no place to judge others. I don't think repeating your views to them will make much difference, especially if done antagonistically. It will only make them dig their heels in deeper because they won't want to admit that you are right. My mom always says you get more with sugar than you do with vinegar. Just my two cents. Everybody has different ways of approaching things.

 

[mlod54]

I know Christmas is a few months off but this video really melted my heart:

Will anyone else be skipping Christmas if their family won't see sense? I for one won't be spending it with people who think it's acceptable for their day of fun to cause so much suffering to others! They'll think I'm being horrible and uncaring but they're the ones who'd rather have others tortured than see me!