Advertisement

Husband isn't on board

Discussion in 'Transitioning' started by Jenjen, Nov 5, 2018.

  1. Jenjen

    Jenjen Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2018
    Messages:
    9
    Ratings:
    +2 / 0 / -0
    Hi I'm trying to follow a vegan lifestyle but with an avid meat eater as a husband who isn't interested, I'm really struggling. We also have two very fussy young children who are tricky to convince to try anything different. We also don't have much money so buying 3 plus different meals everyday just isn't feasible. I'm not saying he has to do what I want but it makes it really difficult. Please help
     
  2. veganDreama

    veganDreama Active Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2018
    Messages:
    289
    Location:
    Birmingham, England
    Ratings:
    +108 / 2 / -0
    Lifestyle/Diet:
    Vegan
    Hello and welcome!
    Sorry to hear about your problem with your husband and children. Just serve them vegan food. If they want to eat animal corpses they will have to make it themselves.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Nekodaiden

    Nekodaiden Active Member Banned

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2017
    Messages:
    640
    Ratings:
    +204 / 0 / -5
    Lifestyle/Diet:
    Vegan
    Hi there.

    I went Vegan as a single person who eats the majority of his meals alone and who cooks for no one but himself, so it was, in this respect, incredibly easy.

    But! I was married at one point long before this and the health advice I was trying to get my wife to follow (who was sick with terminally diagnosed cancer) was close to a Vegan diet – but not quite. It was a majority of whole food but also included some types of fresh water fish. Although not vegan, it was definitely more healthy than her personal dietary habits and our shared ones.

    I had an extremely hard time following this particular diet myself at that time, but I still wanted her to follow it. She was such a big meat and dairy consumer and so little a plant consumer that to her the change was massive and she described the fare as “horrible foods” (neither of us were cooks). It didn’t help I was sneaking in burgers when I was out and wasn’t following it myself. I found out later after she died that although she tried she also cheated a lot.

    So what I’m saying is that I can understand how difficult it must be – especially with children. My best advice to you is to learn how to make more tasty meals that you like, and that your husband and children like – that don’t include animal products. Start making them a regular part of meals. Make them nutritious and filling – using whole foods, not stripped grains, isolated proteins, oils and sugars. Making them whole foods of the plant kingdom will increase fiber content, and so will increase satiety and add a variety of added health benefits.

    Vegan foods are not expensive, unless you are buying pre-made stuff. In fact, many of the staples like beans, legumes, whole grains, nuts and seeds are among the cheapest stuff you can buy. Of course if you’re not used to preparing/eating them, then there will be some things you need to learn.

    If you are transitioning and preparing meat/animal by product based meals for others, it’s going to be extremely difficult – your habits and even your gut bacteria accustomed to animal flesh are all going to be screaming if you don’t feed them what they want. This is where whole foods come to the rescue again – they feed a different set of bacteria (the beneficial kind) and help you feel full.


    There is something else you can do. Your husband and children are likely to complain about taste – lack of it that they associate with meat. Try this. Boil some minced beef (make sure it's plain and unseasoned and also minced) - add nothing to it, no salt, no seasonings. Boil it till cooked then let it sit overnight in the water. Come morning, saturated fat will be floating on the top of the water. Put this aside but don’t discard. Drain the water and separate the boiled mince. Add no spices and no salt. Taste the mince, then taste the isolated fat from the mince. You will find that the meat will have almost no taste aside from a bit of metallic, and the fat will have none at all.


    Your husband and children should taste them too. At the very least, you can convince them that meat and it’s fat have very little to no taste, and it is the vegetable seasonings and salt that is added that give them the flavor they crave.


    If you can combine this knowledge with seasoning profiles for savory and sweet animal free whole foods – you can go a long way in helping yourself and encouraging your family to eat more of these meals. They may never go Vegan, but they will start to know that Vegan meals can be tasty and filling. This will be a huge step in the right direction for you and your family.



    Good luck!
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. Jenjen

    Jenjen Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2018
    Messages:
    9
    Ratings:
    +2 / 0 / -0
    Thanks for your reply. However life isn't always that simple especially when my husband is the main cook in the house!
     
  5. Kristyna

    Kristyna Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2018
    Messages:
    10
    Location:
    Texas
    Ratings:
    +6 / 0 / -0
    Lifestyle/Diet:
    Vegan Newbie
    My husband isn't vegan. My daughter has food allergies so I feel your pain. However, I do not cook 3 different meals. I know that kids can be picky but you have to put your foot down and be the mom. They don't like it? Too bad. If they're hungry enough, they'll eat it. Use little rewards and incentives. Make things bright and colorful. Serve with fruit for "dessert" or tiny sweet treat.

    Here's an example of my household.

    Last night's dinner was Hamburgers. I made a pre-made veggie burger. All of us topped them differently to accommodate. usually serve with French fries but last night I served with vegan Mac and cheese and veggies and hummus.

    I typically serve a side salad at every meal. Try new "healthy" recipes. Instead of spaghetti do spaghetti squash. Make a Vegan cornbread and meatless mild Chilli, top theirs with cheese. My toddler daughter isn't a fan of everything I cook but she knows that she has to try it bc it's healthy for her and she isn't allowed to eat anything eLse unless she eats a minimum of 5 bites.

    Tonight I'm making beef tacos. With black beans and rice. I make my tacos with black beans, rice, avacado, lettuce and tomato with salsa, the same stuff they can use as toppings and they add cheese.

    If your husband cooks, simply ask that he has a side dish of something fresh. Or if you have something already prepared that he can warm up for you.

    I'm vegan for health reasons but regardless it's subtle corporation of foods.

    My husband may not be vegan but he is all about organic which THAT gets expensive. But a $50 of nothing but fruits and veggies stretches far more than $50 of junk food or boxed snacks

    You may have made the choice to change but he did not and thats ok. But by eating healthier and incorporating it into your lifestyle and meals will help them eat healthier than what they were yesterday. Let him take a bite of your meal. If he likes it see if he's open to eat it for just one meal every once in a while. Express how much better you feel with your body being cleansed. but don't expect him to change, my husband likes being healthy. But I know he will never go Vegan. It's a balance and I'm okay with it. =)
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2018
    • Useful Useful x 1
  6. Frederic Lavender

    Frederic Lavender Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2018
    Messages:
    25
    Ratings:
    +10 / 0 / -0
    Lifestyle/Diet:
    Vegan Newbie
    Hey sorry to heard you're having problems. Have you tied just removing the meat element from meals for example, if your husband is cooking a beef chilli for dinner, prepare the same way but when it comes to adding the meat, just take some out of the main pot into a smaller one for you, then the meat can be added to the larger pot?

    That way you keep ingredients the same, don't buy things you don't need and helps you to continue to be vegan. I am unsure if this will work with every meal, but please try :)
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 2
  7. Jenjen

    Jenjen Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2018
    Messages:
    9
    Ratings:
    +2 / 0 / -0
    Thank you so much for your reply! I will definitely try the things you suggested.
     
  8. Jenjen

    Jenjen Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2018
    Messages:
    9
    Ratings:
    +2 / 0 / -0
    This is what I've just started to implement. Thank you for your reply I will keep at it!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  9. Rekabb

    Rekabb New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2018
    Messages:
    3
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Ratings:
    +3 / 0 / -0
    Seconding this as well! My wife is currently pregnant and is ravenous for animal products of all kinds (tragically, but is what it is). As a trained chef, I just approach it as I used to when cooking weekly "family meal" years ago as a line cook. Make a large portion of a base food (veg soup, rice and beans, chili, stir fry, pasta, etc) without meat or animal products and portion out an amount for yourself. Once done, add things like pre-cooked ground beef, butter, milk, creams, etc to the base and serve to your family. In our case, I have two containers in the fridge, one filled with pre-cooked ground beef (farmer's market quality, if possible), and one filled with pre-cooked, cubed hanger steak. With this method it's super easy: make the base, serve myself, add the meat, butter, creams, etc, cook for five minutes, and we're done! Pasta of all kinds especially shine using this method. Keep at it!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Forest Nymph
    Wishful

    Forest Nymph Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2017
    Messages:
    747
    Location:
    Northern California
    Ratings:
    +398 / 1 / -11
    Lifestyle/Diet:
    Vegan
    Children will eat whatever you serve them. Trust me. There have been observational studies done on child rearing in France versus the United States, and there is no "kids menu" in France. You're three, you will eat asparagus with the rest of the family. Of course there are a spectrum of family experiences with this in the U.S. some which are as extreme as parents allowing their toddlers to eat an excessive amount of hot dogs, pizza or even McDonald's chicken nuggets (I will never forget the 17 year old who had to be hospitalized a few years ago because her mother fed her nothing but McDonald's from age 2 to 17 because "she wouldn't eat anything else." Luckily she was 17 and young and strong enough to bounce back, but who knows what she'll have to deal with as she ages).

    So that takes care of the children problem. Brown Vegan is a great on-line source for raising vegan children responsibly and affordably, and I'm quite sure you can find others if you start looking and get references from there.

    As for your husband, if you do all the cooking, he will also eat what you buy and cook for him, unless he feels compelled to purchase and cook his own meat like an adult. On the other hand, I would personally never enter into a marriage where my husband expected me to "serve him" meat just because I was his wife, I'd be like - "I cook, you eat what I cook, if you don't like it, you can cook."
     
  11. Forest Nymph
    Wishful

    Forest Nymph Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2017
    Messages:
    747
    Location:
    Northern California
    Ratings:
    +398 / 1 / -11
    Lifestyle/Diet:
    Vegan
    Time to learn how to cook, then.
     
  12. Frederic Lavender

    Frederic Lavender Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2018
    Messages:
    25
    Ratings:
    +10 / 0 / -0
    Lifestyle/Diet:
    Vegan Newbie
    Glad I could help, it means a lot to me that I can reach out to someone and help in some way :)
     
  13. Frederic Lavender

    Frederic Lavender Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2018
    Messages:
    25
    Ratings:
    +10 / 0 / -0
    Lifestyle/Diet:
    Vegan Newbie
    You sir, are amazing! You said it way better than I did :p
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice