Learning to Trust Again

[Underdog]

- My best friend lied about having a terminal illness
- My ex girlfriend was very controlling and punished me a lot (not in the fun kinky way)
- In all honesty, I didn't have a great childhood and have had family problems, even recently

Since the ex, whom I split up with in December, I have had trouble trusting. I suspect this is partly to do with a relapse in to depression as well... I have kept my friends, but been wary of bringing anybody new to my life...

I don't have low self-esteem, I enjoy being single and love my friends... but I find trust so difficult at the moment. I know it's illogical, as personally, I'd never hurt anybody, nor would my mates... but I'm concerned it may not exactly open doors for me in the future...

If people try to get close, I close up and I almost expect people to let me down... any tips on getting over myself?

 

[Pickle Juice]

No, no tips, except to be patient. Depending on the severity of the break in trust, it could take you a few years. That's been my experience, anyway. Sometimes I can get over things through sheer force of will, because I am aware of how I can let years go by without getting any sense of real resolution, and sometimes that bothers me. Some things can't be forced though, they have to run their natural course. And there is nothing wrong with you for feeling like this.

 

[KLS52]

I agree with PJ...baby steps. It's ok to be cautious, smart even. The fact that you even want to be able to trust again is probably a good sign.

 

[mlp]

I agree with PJ and KLS52.

 

[AspireToExpire]

If you listen, your instincts will help you sort some of this out.

 

[Underdog]

Yeah... I guess there's no rush, right?

I think, as I've found I've needed to expand my social circles (ya know... people move in and outta London all the time), I have felt quite closed to people, which is awful, as I try my best to be compassionate and non-judgmental.

I guess regaining trust comes naturally, as we have positive experiences with other people and heal ourselves.