Omni partner?

[KLS52]

I think its great that compromise is an option for you. Im jealous.
I cant even imagine what that would be like.

I think people are going to have different views on this because everyone has a different tolerance to pain.

When I am outside of the home, I can tolerate disconnected people because I am aware that everyone has to wake up when they are ready, otherwise anything you say falls on deaf ears.

When I am inside the home, I feel resentful. It should be my sanctuary, the place where I can find peace and connection. Difficult at best with meat and dairy in the cabinets and fridge. Animal products in the closets, in the bathroom, the prep of them talked about for every holiday.
I hate holidays now.

And I think too that the importance of food in someone's life helps make this decision.
I moved in with my dad briefly a very long time ago to change his diet to one that would help with his severe diabetes.
That meant my diet had to change, I wouldnt dare bring something into the house that would cause him discomfort to see. You just do what you believe is the right thing to do.

Maybe extreme personalities need equally extreme partners.

I feel for you. I think I was more resentful in the beginning and felt a little more the way you describe here. I don't how long you have been with your partner. Maybe that has something to do with it. For me, I can't imagine walking out after forty years. My marriage is too important to me. Contrary to what some others have said, I don't see my compromise as a failure. It's not over until one of us is dead. Just because I'm not actively preaching and trying to change someone doesn't mean I'm not having an impact with the people I live with. I think the greatest way to get through to someone is by being a living example. My family uses many of my vegan items so it's that much less omni stuff being purchased/consumed. We don't have to have dairy in the house because they are happy with the alternatives. They get to see and watch me every day. I think that is a really good and positive thing. Who knows what the future holds. If someone is going to come around they are going to do it at their own pace. And I can tell that they are proud of me and admire my choices. They brag about me all the time. That's cool, too.

I hope you can come to terms with your dilemma. You have to do what's best for you.

 

[Stained]

I feel for you. I think I was more resentful in the beginning and felt a little more the way you describe here. I don't how long you have been with your partner. Maybe that has something to do with it. For me, I can't imagine walking out after forty years. My marriage is too important to me. Contrary to what some others have said, I don't see my compromise as a failure. It's not over until one of us is dead. Just because I'm not actively preaching and trying to change someone doesn't mean I'm not having an impact with the people I live with. I think the greatest way to get through to someone is by being a living example. My family uses many of my vegan items so it's that much less omni stuff being purchased/consumed. We don't have to have dairy in the house because they are happy with the alternatives. They get to see and watch me every day. I think that is a really good and positive thing. Who knows what the future holds. If someone is going to come around they are going to do it at their own pace. And I can tell that they are proud of me and admire my choices. They brag about me all the time. That's cool, too.

I hope you can come to terms with your dilemma. You have to do what's best for you.

Actually your influence on your household is HUGE compared to my situation...I think what you have going is pretty awesome! Just not having dairy in the house is huge. So the compromise is not quite the same for sure.
Maybe if I saw a dent in animal consumption, I might feel more hopeful.

I have known my partner since were 14 yrs old, been together 22 years with a 2 year break in between (we separated) but really, I think to myself, maybe he would be happier too without my veggie-nagging.

 

[KLS52]

That is a long time. I think I just got lucky with the dairy thing. I guess I just feel that different people react to different means of persuasion. Sometimes the more we push the more they resist.

I can see this is a big issue for you and it is an important one. Don't want to give the impression that you should just cave in. It's good that you are really trying to work through it from all angles.

 

[Clueless Git]

I knew a guy who was vegetarian and the wife was not. It didn't last long (the vegetarianism, that is).

I know a woman who had a beard.

That doesn't make the observation that men are more likely to have beards than women anything other than true, of course.

 

[Clueless Git]

Contrary to what some others have said, I don't see my compromise as a failure.

You would if your hubby was eating your kids.

All of us would see compromise as failure when it comes to life or death decisions concerning those we care enough about.

 

[Mikkel]

I know two girls who has gone from vegetarian because of ethical reasons, to hunters after started to date hunters. I find it very stange that people change that much because of another person. From not wanting to eat animals at all, to enjoy killing them theirself. One of them gets really angry if fellow classmates start to talk about veg*an topics now.

 

[ledboots]

My vegan son is 22 and says that he prefers to date "at least" vegetarians, but that most omni women that he would get along with would probably be very open to vegetarianism in any case.

His theory is that many people, and a lot of women in particular, would happily go vegetarian on their own if they knew how easy it really is.

 

[Stained]

I know two girls who has gone from vegetarian because of ethical reasons, to hunters after started to date hunters. I find it very stange that people change that much because of another person. From not wanting to eat animals at all, to enjoy killing them theirself. One of them gets really angry if fellow classmates start to talk about veg*an topics now.

I am more inclined to think that people claiming to do it for ethical reasons, that are able to even DATE hunters, were NEVER ethical vegans. Ever. Like, not a hair.
Humans have a need to connect with other humans, sometimes they find this connections joining groups/cultures/societies just in order to belong to something. People like this are probably easier to get to join a weird cult,too.
I would classify these women as people who were looking to belong to something.
People that change easily for another person arent likely to stick with borrowed habits,either...unless it was who they were all along.
I could be spewing face-precepts, but this what I have gathered up till now.

 

[Stained]

I know a woman who had a beard.

That doesn't make the observation that men are more likely to have beards than women anything other than true, of course.

were you born in january or febuary?

 

[Second Summer]

I know a woman who had a beard.

That doesn't make the observation that men are more likely to have beards than women anything other than true, of course.

My post was only meant as an anecdote, not as proof.

I think it does make sense that the one who cooks the most will have more influence over the family's diet than the other partner. And since women are more likely to be the family chef, they tend to have the bigger influence.

 

[FortyTwo]

You would if your hubby was eating your kids.

All of us would see compromise as failure when it comes to life or death decisions concerning those we care enough about.

This just in - marrying an omnivore is just like marrying someone who cannibalizes your children.

 

[flyingsnail]

I am more inclined to think that people claiming to do it for ethical reasons, that are able to even DATE hunters, were NEVER ethical vegans. Ever. Like, not a hair.

I think a lot of people, myself included, have less of an issue with hunting than they do meat from factory farms. But I've yet to met someone that just eats the meat they hunt, instead, they are just really big meat eaters and the hunted meat just adds to what they get from restaurants and the grocery store.

 

[Mikkel]

I am more inclined to think that people claiming to do it for ethical reasons, that are able to even DATE hunters, were NEVER ethical vegans. Ever. Like, not a hair.
Humans have a need to connect with other humans, sometimes they find this connections joining groups/cultures/societies just in order to belong to something. People like this are probably easier to get to join a weird cult,too.
I would classify these women as people who were looking to belong to something.
People that change easily for another person arent likely to stick with borrowed habits,either...unless it was who they were all along.
I could be spewing face-precepts, but this what I have gathered up till now.

You're right. They probably just claimed to be vegetarians for ethical reasons, and it was just a phase or something. Perhaps hang around with other vegetarians at that moment. But perhaps there is a difference with vegetarians and vegans there? They weren't vegans, and the only ones I know that have gone back to meat eating, have been vegetarians. And only girls, but I think that is because of I know more girls who is vegetrarians or vegans than boys.

But on one of the FB groups I'm in, there's a vegan married to a slaughter. I find that one a little disturbing, but it works for them obvious. But that's a thing that couldn't work for me at all. I couldn't date a farmer either, even if you took away the ethical reasons. I've worked so many years on farms so I couldn't do it anyways, since I know how limited their days are, locked up to the farm (special milk cows). But I couldn't date a lawyer that worked for child abusers, murders and protected people that have abused animals. We would get into too many fights over the dinnertable. I know it's only a job, but if my partner did a good defence, the person became free of chargers and murdered/raped/abused someone just after, I would probably become very mad.

But for me, I think it would depend very on the person. An omni that would fight about the meat every meal, I couldn't live with. I have only one friend that is vegetarian at the moment and one is pescetarian, so I'm used to eating out with omnis. So I guess I could live with one that ate meat at restaurants, but not at home.

 

[RascalsMom]

My vegan son is 22 and says that he prefers to date "at least" vegetarians, but that most omni women that he would get along with would probably be very open to vegetarianism in any case.

His theory is that many people, and a lot of women in particular, would happily go vegetarian on their own if they knew how easy it really is.

Send him my way!

 

[Clueless Git]

were you born in january or febuary?

Wutt?

I'm a June bug, me.

 

[Stained]

I think a lot of people, myself included, have less of an issue with hunting than they do meat from factory farms. But I've yet to met someone that just eats the meat they hunt, instead, they are just really big meat eaters and the hunted meat just adds to what they get from restaurants and the grocery store.

I agree with you,most people do have less of an issue with hunting.

Not vegans though. Most vegans have an issue anyway you kill an animal for food,whether you do it or someone else does. Most vegans do it for the animals, people on plant-based diets to lose weight or fix their health probably dont care either way though.

 

[Stained]

But I couldn't date a lawyer that worked for child abusers, murders and protected people that have abused animals. We would get into too many fights over the dinnertable. I know it's only a job, but if my partner did a good defence, the person became free of chargers and murdered/raped/abused someone just after, I would probably become very mad.

But for me, I think it would depend very on the person. An omni that would fight about the meat every meal, I couldn't live with. I have only one friend that is vegetarian at the moment and one is pescetarian, so I'm used to eating out with omnis. So I guess I could live with one that ate meat at restaurants, but not at home.

I hear you.
I have to be on the same page with anyone I spend any significant amount of time with, for my own sanity.
Im a debater by nature and its an effort to refrain and hold it in. Dating a lawyer, I dont think I could last 2 days.

 

[Stained]

Wutt?

I'm a June bug, me.

I know most people dont give much credence to astrology, but since I have worked with the public most my life I cant help but see patterns. Its a compulsion.

 

[Ann Chovie]

I used to think that if my present relationship broke up I would be able to date Omnis ..

but now, struggling to maintain friendships with even life long friends who are Omni. Then finding myself unable to contemplate striking up friendships with new people who are Omni; I know that this is definitely no longer the case.

So..sorry CG but it looks like you are stuck with me for the duration !!!

 

[Clueless Git]

I know most people don't give much credence to astrology, but since I have worked with the public most my life I cant help but see patterns. Its a compulsion.

I'm an astrologists dream, usualy, Stained.

Text book Gemini.

Duplicitous, mercurial, shallow, reward and recognition seeking ... etc ... etc ...