What We Say to Our Pets (and what they say back to us)

[RascalsMom]

Cowboy: YOU STAY AWAY FROM THIS YARD YOU AWFUL NEIGHBORS!!! YOU"LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH ME IF YOU GET ANY CLOSER!!!

Me: COWBOY! STOP BARKING!

Cowboy: Ha! Scared'em again.

This. Every day. This this this.

 

[Amy SF]

Me: So, Bratt and Joon...you guys are officially my family now! Isn't that great! Aren't you excited?!?!? Them: muahahaha, sucker. Now we can start to show our true colors. We were being all nice and sweet and cuddly (well except for the going in the refrigerator, and knocking down your stuff) to hook you and reel you in. Now the real fun begins!

 

[RascalsMom]

-bed time-

Me: rascal, lay down.

Rascal: buuuut maaaa!!!! The puppy got CLOSE TO ME!!!!

 

[Amy SF]

Me: Sabrina, stop climbing onto my pillow and walking on my hair!

Sabrina: But it's so thick and cushy! Is that your hair? I thought it was part of the pillow!

 

[RabbitLuvr]

Me: Let me pet you, you huge floofy beast!
Benjamin: **** off.

 

[Dedalus]

Boon: Are you on VV again?
Me: Yes...taking a break from the porn sites.
Boon: Is that George Zimmerman thread still active?
Me: Oh of course...I'm posting on it again.
Boon: That thread needs to go away. The way of the...um...what is it - the Dodo? Yes. The Dodo. I think.
Me: Agreed. Should I not post anything?
Boon: No, go ahead. But...if I may...?
Me: Yes?
Boon: Humans are stupid.
Me: You got that right buddy.
Boon: Meerow.

 

[Kitties]

Do people actually answer for their pets causing conversations or am I the only nut who does this?

 

[Amy SF]

Do people actually answer for their pets causing conversations or am I the only nut who does this?

Nooo I do that, too!

 

[Kitties]

Awesome Amy. There has to be more!

 

[FortyTwo]

Nooo I do that, too!

It's best when there's no one else around.

 

[Amy SF]

Well, there's nobody here but me and the cats anyway, but I wouldn't mind if somebody else heard me. I love my cats and they make me silly and I'm not embarrassed by that.

 

[Moll Flanders]

My companion animals talk to me in different accents too sometimes, spoken by me of course. My Jack Russell Molly has an Irish accent.

I try to lower my voice when I think my neighbours are within hearing distance.

 

[RabbitLuvr]

Me: Benjamin, you're so amazing and handsome!
Benjamin: **** off.

 

[Renee1]

Benjamin is my kind of bunny.

 

[RabbitLuvr]

Me: You're hay isn't even empty, why did you throw the rack on the floor?

Benjamin: Give me MoAR hay. And then **** off.

 

[Kitties]

Me: You're hay isn't even empty, why did you throw the rack on the floor?

Benjamin: Give me MoAR hay. And then **** off.

LOL!!!

My kitties: "***** don't feed us"

At least they aren't the only ones with bad language.

 

[Moll Flanders]

Pixie (my cat): Mum, I was busy last night and I left you some presents.
Me: Why are there dead spiders all over the living room floor?

 

[RabbitLuvr]

Me: Benjamin, I've clipped your hay rack to the side of your pen so you can't throw it on the floor anymore.
Benjamin: **** off.

 

[Snowcone]

Me: Hi, bird-beaks! I've brought your breakfast!

Manmo: I'mma peck yo toes!

 

[Amy SF]

Misty: Mommy, where is Bear?

Me: Oh, sweetie, he went over the Rainbow Bridge today.

Misty: What does that mean?

Me: It means he's in a new place where's he's happy again and feeling good again.

Misty: You mean he has a new forever home?

Me: Yes, dear. Forever and ever.

Misty: Will I ever see him again?

Me: Not until you, too, cross over the Rainbow Bridge.

Misty: But I'm happy right here with you!

Me: Well, you will go over the Rainbow Bridge at some point, and then eventually I'll come along and we can be together again.

Misty: Will Bear be there, too?

Me: Yes.

Misty: But Bear constantly harassed me and chased me!

Me: Well, he'll do that again when the two of you meet.

Misty: I'd rather just stay here with you, Mommy. I know you love me.

Me: Yes, I do, sweetie. *hugs Misty*