Why Do Older Men Like Younger Women ?

[Poppy]

DH and I are about the same age - I'm younger by 6 months. We've always been a pretty darn good match. I've never worried about a younger woman irl, but I imagine that if I were to be out of the picture for whatever reason, nothing would be off the table.

 

[shyvas]

It is personal, but not too personal. This was a very painful period both for Carol and for me.

I don't have time now to write a full reply. But the answer is "yes and no." We split up for several reasons, but you can say that the reasons were rooted (at least in part) in the age difference. For example, Carol became extremely bossy. (I hate being "bossed.") This may be a danger in any relationship where there is a substantial age difference--the older person may try to boss and dominate the younger person. Carol became extremely, insanely jealous of me (without real cause), and this may be a danger in any relationship where there is a substantial age difference. Third, Carol and I had a big fight about a movie we saw, What's Love Got to Do with It? Now, we had discussed going to see Sleepless in Seattle. With Carol's habits, we were running late, so I dropped her off at the door to the theater, put some money in her hand, and asked her to buy the tickets while I parked the car. So she bought tickets to a movie I barely mentioned in our discussion, not the one we had agreed on. When we left the theater, Carol was crying and seething with wrath, why had I forced her to see that horrible, sadistic movie? Didn't I know that her second husband beat her like Ike beat Tina? I made her relive those horrible experiences, etc. Was my ability to relate to Tina Turner, her music, her bravery in freeing herself from Ike's brutality, at least in part due to my age? (I've told this story in another post somewhere else on this board.)

There was much, much more involved. But generally all these negative forms of behavior and what I regarded as "craziness" emerged during the last year of our relationship.

Now, some people might say that all these things are just rationalizations I had seized upon to get rid of an older lover.
I don't think so, but then, this is my perspective.

There is a saying that to be able to know someone, who have to live with them. It's seems that her domineering personality came out after some time. Perhaps the fact that you were so much younger made her become more jealous and insecure ?
You certainly seem to have some nice, warm memories of your relationship with her.

Anyway, relationships are so very complicated even when people are from the same generation. I really don't know why some people hit it off and stay together (happily) and some don't make it after a couple of years.

I certainly would feel very insecure with a man that was around 10 years younger. I also don't really like the idea of being with someone that is 10 years older neither. Having said that some people act and seem younger than their age.

I really don't know what the secret is to a long, happy and healthy relationship.

 

[beancounter]

Ok, if we're giving specific numbers...

My wife is 2- 1/2 years older than me, but she's technically from a different generation.

She's a Boomer and I'm an Xer.

 

[Freesia]

Ok, if we're giving specific numbers...

My wife is 2- 1/2 years older than me, but she's technically from a different generation.

She's a Boomer and I'm an Xer.

That is not a big age difference though- and because you are on the cusp of Gen X and Boomer, there should be little difference between the world you grew up in and the world your wife grew up in...

 

[Freesia]

My last ex was a year younger than me and my ex before that was 5 years older. I also dated 2 guys who were 15 years older. They were wonderful, though the relationships didnt last for various reasons. I was too young to settle down and they were at settling down age.

 

[Freesia]

Ideally I would like someone 3-7 years older. I would not want to go younger.

 

[ledboots]

My nephew's wife is 15 years older than he is, and used to be his high school chemistry teacher :vom:

He was in the marines and 22 years old when they eloped. Some sevenish years later, they have two great kids, but issues between the couple are increasing. The age difference seems greater now.

 

[Joe]

Just to clarify, I was just telling about my own experience. I was not advocating that people date other people significantly older than themselves.

I think our society tolerates a 5 to 7 year age gap, but disapproves of anything larger than that.

 

[Second Summer]

My older wife is so marvelous that she banishes the thought of any younger women right away.

 

[pravinbh]

Well, younger women tend to be more attractive, on average. Everyone likes looking at attractive people. From an evolutionary standpoint, younger women give off more signals that they're fertile, so men are going to be drawn to them, regardless of the man's age. Keep in mind, just because they're looking, doesn't mean they intend to act on it.

 

[Jamie in Chile]

When I was around 13-15, a one year age difference was large, and two was a chasm. I did occasionally have some girls 1 year younger showing an interest, and I tended to ignore them which in retrospect might have been a mistake but at the time dating someone 1 year older was cool, and dating someone younger was not. I actually didn't have any girlfriends at that age at all.

So, the acceptable age difference varies a lot as your age changes. I like the rough guideline of lowest dateable age for a man being half your age plus 7. It works for every age starting at 14, and you don't really date before 14.

14-14
18-16
24-19
36-25
50-32
60-37

One possible issue in longer relationships is changing maturity over time. Let's say you are 22 year old girl, and date a 35 year old man, but it works because you are smart and mature for your age. So you get married and have kids. But 10 years later you are much more mature and have more wisdom, but your partner is the same. So it doesn't work so well.

I had a vague idea to get married about 30-32, and marry a woman who was about 26. However it turned out to be almost the complete opposite of that!

I think at a younger age - 14 to 20 or so, girls mature faster so for a girl the minimum age is typically going to be the same age or 1 year younger at the most, but it doesn't have to be that way around when people are older.

 

[VegFred]

There’re definitely some exceptions but if we are to generalize: younger women look younger and in a way prettier than older women. Younger women are also less serious and a lot more naive than the female age mates of these older men. In short, older men find younger women prettier and a lot more fun than women in their age group. Again, this a gross generalization and there’re definitely exceptions.

 

[Blues]

It also brings to the surface of why some younger women prefer older men.

 

[shyvas]

It also brings to the surface of why some younger women prefer older men.

They usually prefer older, wealthy men.

 

[Blues]

They usually prefer older, wealthy men.

So that answers my question why?

 

[shyvas]

So that answers my question why?

Precisely.
When men have a fat wallet they don't need any other qualities.
Mind you, I'm not speaking from personal experience as I have never been in a relationship with an
older man. I can only feel comfortable with someone in the same age group.

However, I have known quite a few women to seek men for financial reasons and they usually
are older.

 

[Mischief]

However, I have known many (really many) women to seek men for financial reasons and they usually
are older.

I, OTOH, have never personally known a woman who sought men for financial reasons. I have known several men who have had that as their top criterion for a woman, though.