I often wonder why some men like to date much older woman. ? I wouldn't feel at ease being with a younger man. I would say that 3 or 5 year younger would be fine. However, more than 5 years would be very difficult to deal with especially once you've hit the 50 milestone.
Well, I cannot answer for men as a group who like to date older women. I can only give you my own experience, which you may consider to be atypical.
First, it is not as though I had dozens of women my age throwing themselves at my feet, and I stepped on their faces and over their prostrate bodies to date Carol. That is just not the way it worked.
Second, some women think that all men can be successfully employed as one of those people at the circus who can guess your age just by looking at you. I cannot. I simply do not have that ability.
Third, when I first met Carol, she asked me my age. And I told her, truthfully. However, I did not ask her her age.
Because a gentleman does not ask a lady her age. And I was not particularly interested in what her age was when I first met her.
Fourth, I met Carol at a seminar entitled "Living Single in a Couples World." I was one of two men at the seminar (not counting the speaker, a social worker) with about 30 women. Carol contrived to sit right behind me. During the seminar the speaker had us speak to the person to the right of us, then to the left of us, and then behind us. That's how I first spoke to Carol. We were supposed to tell each other the answers to particular questions posed by the speaker. Like, "What was one of your life's most embarrassing moments?" The real point of the exercise was just to get us talking to one another.
Fifth, I met a woman at the seminar who was about my age, perhaps a few years younger. I asked her to accompany me to the annual dinner of a state-wide nonprofit organization I was involved with, which involved a prominent guest speaker. Yet when I called her back to ask her on a second date, I got a very frosty, hostile reception. Apparently, she was
bored to death by the annual dinner. So I scratched her off my dance card and called Carol.
Sixth, my first date with Carol was to go to the Tennessee Performing Arts Center (TPAC) to see a production of Gilbert and Sullivan's
Mikado. I probably could not have taken a woman my age or younger to such an event due to the "
eau de boredom" factor. As far as I could tell, Carol was never bored with me, and I was never bored with her. Carol and I spent a lot of time at TPAC, listening to classical and popular music concerts, seeing plays like
Cats (Broadway cast on tour), listening to visiting musicians, like Doc Severinson (sp?), the trumpeter from Johnny Carson's
Tonight show, etc.
We had plenty of common interests.
Seventh, my sister was often very smart-alecky and acerbic with me, often quick with a put down. Yet when she first saw a picture of Carol, she had one word to say: "
Pretty." Yes, Carol was pretty.
Eighth, one factor that I found very attractive about Carol was her voice. She had a very beautiful voice, that is, speaking voice. She had a soft Southern accent, with a sort of "honey dripping" quality. It was literally a pleasure to hear her speak. And her singing voice was even better (though I could rarely get her to sing for me).
Ninth, Carol was highly intelligent and well educated. She was a teacher, and was just a few credits short of having the equivalent of a Ph.D. in education. She designed the Gifted program for students in Kentucky. When she came to Tennessee, she was put in charge of a competitive academic program called "The Olympics of the Mind." Under her tutelage, her school district had more teams competing in "The Olympics of the Mind" than at any other time in the history of the school district.
Carol and I had a relationship that lasted five years, longer than many marriages. Yes, she had her flaws. But I think she was a remarkable person.
