I guess I know what I should do or need to do, but it's hard. She's my mum, she always tells me or has told me what to do.
She maybe is your mum, but you are allowing her to tell you what to do.
"Chicken Stock Doesn't Count As Meat": Beware of jerks in the kitchen
- Thread starter LuvOurMother
- Start date
She maybe is your mum, but you are allowing her to tell you what to do.
SummerRain
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.
I can't believe peoples families sneak meat into their foods. That's just so rude and nasty.
Clueless Git
Plant powered
I stood up to my mom. I brought my food dish and some sides when I went over. She blew up at me. How dare I do such a thing, it how dare I call her actions into question.
I felt so small, so much anxiety. I was shaking so bad, looking at the ground. I had tears in my eyes. I just wanted to vanish.
I thought h was in the other room, but it turned out he was there holding my hand. I heard him say "mom, is grandma being mean again? I don't like it here any more"
It gave me some strength that I don't have to put up with the BS. I had to do it for me but also for h. He needs to know strength.
So I looked at my mother, she was crying then. I told her she won't bully me anymore. That I have my values. That I'm an adult. If she can't respect that, then there's no room for us in my life. I took h, our stuff and left.
It was a long drive home. But I had to do it. She called the next day apologizing, saying she wouldn't do it again. That she'd respect my food choices. I told her I needed time, and didn't want to associate with her for a couple weeks.
In two weeks she could come over and we'd have dinner at my house.
I cried a lot, but I'm glad I did it.
I felt so small, so much anxiety. I was shaking so bad, looking at the ground. I had tears in my eyes. I just wanted to vanish.
I thought h was in the other room, but it turned out he was there holding my hand. I heard him say "mom, is grandma being mean again? I don't like it here any more"
It gave me some strength that I don't have to put up with the BS. I had to do it for me but also for h. He needs to know strength.
So I looked at my mother, she was crying then. I told her she won't bully me anymore. That I have my values. That I'm an adult. If she can't respect that, then there's no room for us in my life. I took h, our stuff and left.
It was a long drive home. But I had to do it. She called the next day apologizing, saying she wouldn't do it again. That she'd respect my food choices. I told her I needed time, and didn't want to associate with her for a couple weeks.
In two weeks she could come over and we'd have dinner at my house.
I cried a lot, but I'm glad I did it.
- Joined
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- 65
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- I'm liek, in Cali, dude.
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Wonderful! You did a good thing by standing up to your mom! You forced her to see you differently and to respect you and your choices. 
thefadedone
Needs a life
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Wow, this is huge...so glad it worked out. I wish it didn't have to come down to this and that people would just listen and accept each others choices.
beancounter
The Fire That Burns Within
Go gelhair, go.
RabbitLuvr
I love rabbits.
SuicideBlonde
Adorkable rockstar!
I remember being younger out of town, at family's house and there was a large dinner. Mom made green bean casserole (gross stuff) and a family member asked what she used in it because it was good. Mom said :"Well I used cream of chicken soup instead of cream of mushroom". I already had a few bites of it and was upset. Stormed up stairs and had a hissy fit. Mom could not understand why I was upset. One of my sisters had to explain and calm me down.
Gelhair, good for you for standing up for what you believe in. If anything, your mom should be proud that you have the courage do that.
She may come around. I know with family, situations can be uncomfortable, but you are doing what's right for you. Good on you!
She may come around. I know with family, situations can be uncomfortable, but you are doing what's right for you. Good on you!
thefadedone
Needs a life
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2012
- Reaction score
- 4,829
It should be illegal for professional chefs to lie to and mislead customers about the ingredients in their food.
This reminds me of me and my mum when I first went veg 8 years ago. My daughter was 8 at the time, and I had just met my husband (lived overseas at the time, it was long distance for a few years), so I was still essentially a single mother. My mother, at one point, said that I was unfit as a mother to make my daughter go through that. I had to make something very clear to her. My daughter was too old for me to start forbidding her to eat meat (IMO anyway) but I wasn't going to make two meals for each meal, so there was no meat being cooked at home, although she was free to eat what she wanted outside the home, including school. This has always been good enough for her (my daughter). My mother absolutely thought that I was depriving her. We once had a huge screaming match about it. She apologised later on.
Had I started this when daughter was a baby, she would have just had to live with the fact that I was raising her veg from birth.
Anyway, sorry for rambling, but I just wanted to show you that you're not alone in this.
Good for you for standing up for yourself. It will get easier. There might always be some tension (or none at all if you are lucky), but your family will come to accept it.Mother still says to me in an exasperated sigh, that she doesn't know what she'll feed me when I visit. Ummm, anything but meat (and eggs and dairy for hubby)?? hehe.
