Females nicer than males

[ledboots]

That is one of the main reasons why I generally trust women more than men. I have known so many women throughout my life who have suffered from sexual assault or domestic violence from men. It's a subject most people don't like to talk about but I have known quite a few women who have experienced DV whilst in pregnancy which according to Refuge 'over a third of domestic violence starts or gets worse when a woman is pregnant' Domestic violence and pregnancy | Refuge

You are so right about this. My job is working with newly pregnant women, and one thing I ask them about is domestic violence. They often laugh when I ask the question, which annoys me, even though I know it's kind of a nervous laugh.

 

[beancounter]

It's all a matter of perspective and personal experience. I've known many people of both genders who were jerks.

 

[das_nut]

I don't think we have any real evidence whether female reigns would be more peaceful. So far we've had situations where one woman ruler surrounded is by men of power. We might need to wait a while before we have a woman ruler surrounded by women of power, or even 50/50 men and women.

Would the Iroquois work? Wikipedia states:

The women traditionlly held real power, particularly the power to veto treaties or declarations of war.[47] The members of the Grand Council of Sachems were chosen by the mothers of each clan. If any leader failed to comply with the wishes of the women of his tribe and the Great Law of Peace, the mother of his clan could demote him, a process called "knocking off the horns". The deer antlers, emblem of leadership, were removed from his headgear, thus returning him to private life.[47][49]

Councils of the mothers of each tribe were held separately from the men's councils. The women used men as runners to send word of their decisions to concerned parties, or a woman could appear at the men's council as an orator, presenting the view of the women. Women often took the initiative in suggesting legislation.

And it also states:

The Iroquois are a Mother Clan system, which is gender equal. No one is entitled to 'own' land but Creator appointed the women to be the stewards of the land. The Clan Mothers appoint the leaders because they raised the children so know best who to appoint. By the same token, if a leader does not prove sound or becomes corrupt or does not listen to the people, the Clan Mothers have the power to strip him of his leadership.

When Americans and Canadians of European descent began to study Iroquois customs in the 18th and 19th centuries, they learned that the people had a matrilineal system: women held property and hereditary leadership passed through their lines. They held dwellings, horses and farmed land, and a woman's property before marriage stayed in her possession without being mixed with that of her husband. They had separate roles but real power in the nations. The work of a woman's hands was hers to do with as she saw fit. At marriage, a young couple lived in the longhouse of the wife's family. A woman choosing to divorce a shiftless or otherwise unsatisfactory husband was able to ask him to leave the dwelling and take his possessions with him.

But looking through there history, they were quite expansionist, going from their traditional territory in New York State and taking over most of modern day Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Kentucky, Ohio, Indiana, Michigan, and parts of Canada.

 

[yally]

Interesting!

 

[das_nut]

Interesting!

Isn't it?

I think history probably favors expansionist cultures overall, regardless of which gender they are headed by. It's not that the average man (or woman) is eager to take over their neighbors, but cultures that embrace expansionism will tend to conquer those which don't, at least historically speaking. (Nowadays, we may have reached a level of economic complexity that makes many such wars of conquest too "expensive".)

 

[Ann Chovie]

That is one of the main reasons why I generally trust women more than men. I have known so many women throughout my life who have suffered from sexual assault or domestic violence from men. It's a subject most people don't like to talk about but I have known quite a few women who have experienced DV whilst in pregnancy which according to Refuge 'over a third of domestic violence starts or gets worse when a woman is pregnant' Domestic violence and pregnancy | Refuge

This may be the case but domestic violence is not solely the domain of men..I have heard three personal accounts of harrowing physical violence inflicted on men by their femaile partners.

The lower report rate of female violence on males may be less representative of actual disparity of occurence and more representative of the prevailing stigma attached to men confessing to being victims of such acts

 

[ledboots]

This may be the case but domestic violence is not solely the domain of men..I have heard three personal accounts of harrowing physical violence inflicted on men by their femaile partners.

The lower report rate of female violence on males may be less representative of actual disparity of occurence and more representative of the prevailing stigma attached to men confessing to being victims of such acts

Do you think the rates of homicide and assault and battery being so much higher with a male perpetrator are also because of underreporting?

 

[Everleigh]

This may be the case but domestic violence is not solely the domain of men..I have heard three personal accounts of harrowing physical violence inflicted on men by their femaile partners.

I have actually witnessed this right outside my home.Twice.Both times men were being punched,pushed and thrown to the ground by females.I called the police both times.

 

[peacefulveglady]

my first best friend was a male and my second best friend was a male also and the second one turned into a boyfriend later.

 

[das_nut]

This may be the case but domestic violence is not solely the domain of men..I have heard three personal accounts of harrowing physical violence inflicted on men by their femaile partners.


The lower report rate of female violence on males may be less representative of actual disparity of occurence and more representative of the prevailing stigma attached to men confessing to being victims of such acts

I could see this being true. The rate of domestic violence in homosexual couples (male or female) seem to be similar to the rate in heterosexual couples.

If men were truly more violent, you'd expect that gay couples would have a much higher rate, then heterosexual couples, and finally lesbian couples would have the lowest rate.

 

[cornsail]

Well there are some studies suggesting similar rates of domestic violence between men and women. But when it comes to domestic violence that causes serious injury or death then the perpetrator is a lot more likely to be male.

 

[Mischief]

This is coming from a male. In high school, I had no problems with females, but some males gave me problems. Same thing in college. I've been posting on message boards for probably over 10 years. Again males have given me a lot more problems than females have. Going by my personal experience, females are nicer than males. It's not even close. Do you think there's a big difference? What has been your experiences regarding this subject?

In high school and college, girls tend to pick on girls, and boys tend to pick on boys. Altercations between males probably have a stronger tendency to turn physical, but you shouldn't underestimate the emotional and verbal nastiness that teenage girls are capable of.

I don't know how one would measure "nice". I do agree with Ansciess that females, on average, tend to be more empathetic than males. You see a much, much higher percentage of females than males doing volunteer animal rescue work. I think that the difference in empathy is also one of the reasons there are so many more female vegetarians than male vegetarians.

I don't know how different the world would be if women had historically been equally represented in leadership roles. I suspect it wouldn't make as big a difference as some people imagine, simply because it takes certain qualities to rise to leadership positions and to hold onto power, so you would see certain personality types from both sexes getting to the top and exercising power.

While I agree that domestic violence may be underreported by men at greater rates than it is underreported by women, it is underreported by women as well. Also, one needs to take into account that popular culture has for many decades made certain acts, such as a woman slapping a man, not just acceptable but admirable - the woman is exhibiting "spunk".

Whatever the truth is about underreporting of domestic violence, the fact is that men kill their domestic partners at much greater rates than women do. I suspect that the statistic would also show a much greater incidence of serious injuries inflicted by men against their domestic partners. http://articles.orlandosentinel.com/1999-07-21/news/9907200278_1_violence-domestic-men-against-women

 

[Moll Flanders]

This may be the case but domestic violence is not solely the domain of men..I have heard three personal accounts of harrowing physical violence inflicted on men by their femaile partners.
The lower report rate of female violence on males may be less representative of actual disparity of occurence and more representative of the prevailing stigma attached to men confessing to being victims of such acts

DV does happen to men too obviously but the majority of domestic violence perpetrators are men. Who are the abusers? - Women's Aid I would imagine that there is a psychological reason that men may be abused by women as men generally should be able to overpower a violent woman because of the difference in upper body strength. Personally I've known women who have been brutalised by their partners and also couples who are locked in very dysfunctional relationships where there is violence on both sides but I haven't known of any situation where the woman was the main abuser.

In England and Wales two women a week are killed by their partner/ ex-partner.Domestic violence - the facts | Refuge

'In 2009/10 there were 94 female and 21 male victims of homicide who had been killed by a current or former partner' Homicides, Firearm Offences and Intimate Violence 2009/10: Supplementary Volume 2 to Crime in England and Wales - hosb0111.pdf

I think that the difference in empathy is also one of the reasons there are so many more female vegetarians than male vegetarians.

Yes. I think that is why there is also a popular stereotype to paint vegetarian and vegan men as effeminate or less manly.


http://www.womensaid.org.uk/domesti...001&itemid=1276&itemTitle=Who+are+the+abusers

 

[Clueless Git]

I would imagine that there is a psychological reason that men may be abused by women as men generally should be able to overpower a violent woman because of the difference in upper body strength.

Ann 'Fishy Fingers' Chovie and myself were talking about this last night. At least two of her exes suffered extreme abuse from previous partners according to what they told her, btw.

I think the Chovie may have it got right: It is physchologicaly ingrained in many men that death by saucepan is preferable to returning fire on an abusive woman.

 

[Clueless Git]

Interesting bit of 'Candid Camera' on a female abusing a male here ..

 

[Moll Flanders]

Ann 'Fishy Fingers' Chovie and myself were talking about this last night. At least two of her exes suffered extreme abuse from previous partners according to what they told her, btw.

I think the Chovie may have it got right: It is physchologicaly ingrained in many men that death by saucepan is preferable to returning fire on an abusive woman.

Yes, what I meant was because men are in general physically stronger they should be able to push a violent woman away without resorting to violence themselves. A woman is much less likely to be able to get out of a violent situation against a man. If what her ex-partners said was true it is sad but it is still statistically rare for women to physically abuse their male partners. DV is a gendered crime on the whole even if there are instances of women being violent against men. I read yesterday that a Scottish survey found that some men who claimed to be victims of DV were actually perpetrators. 'Research in Scotland, re-tracing men who were counted as (domestic violence) victims in the Scottish Crime Survey, found that a majority of the men who said that they were victims of domestic violence, were also perpetrators of violence (13 of 22). A significant number of the men re-interviewed (13 out of 46) later said they had actually never experienced any form of domestic violence.' FAQs - Standing Together

 

[das_nut]

Yes, what I meant was because men are in general physically stronger they should be able to push a violent woman away without resorting to violence themselves. A woman is much less likely to be able to get out of a violent situation against a man.

"Well officer, the reason why she has bruises on her is that I pushed her out of the way so I could get out the door."

Why don't I see that going very well?

Abusers will often do anything to stay in control. That includes lying. And gender doesn't matter.

 

[Moll Flanders]

Abusers will often do anything to stay in control. That includes lying. And gender doesn't matter.

You think that gender and DV aren't linked, or you meant gender doesn't matter in a particular case where a woman was the primary abuser? I think there would be emotional abuse/ blackmail involved if a woman was the aggressor and maybe the man wouldn't go to the police as she would threaten to stop access to his children or some other type of threat.

(By the way I didn't mean to make this whole thread about DV but it is an issue that I have had a lot of experience with as I've had female family and friends hospitalised as well as women I worked with in the community have been beaten and kicked in the stomach while they were pregnant by their male partners. Also my friend's best friend was murdered by her ex-husband. I really haven't had any experience with men being attacked by women although it must happen on rare occasions.)

 

[Forster]

I really think it's a break even all things considered if you look at friendships people have. Assuming there are equalish numbers of M-F, M-M and F-F friendships. Case one the male is likely to say females are nicer, the same female is likely to say males are nicer. Ditto for the M-M and F-F friendships. The other side of the relationship balances out the others views... if that makes any sense.

 

[das_nut]

You think that gender and DV aren't linked, or you meant gender doesn't matter in a particular case where a woman was the primary abuser? I think there would be emotional abuse/ blackmail involved if a woman was the aggressor and maybe the man wouldn't go to the police as she would threaten to stop access to his children or some other type of threat.

I think that when someone engages in domestic abuse, either physical or emotional, they are more likely to lie and engage in other forms of deceit in order to maintain control.

And I think that gender doesn't matter when it comes to an abuser lying.

As for gender and the aggressor, let me quote Wikipedia as a relatively unbiased source (or at least a source where various editors with bias have picked over an article and challenged sources until a more neutral viewpoint has emerged):

Determining how many instances of domestic violence actually involve male victims is difficult. Male domestic violence victims may be reluctant to get help for various reasons.[169] Some studies have shown that women who assaulted their male partners were more likely to avoid arrest even when the male victim contacts police.[170] Another study examined the differences in how male and female batterers were treated by the criminal justice system. The study concluded that female intimate violence perpetrators are frequently viewed by law enforcement and the criminal justice system as victims rather than the actual offenders of violence against men.[171] Other studies have also demonstrated a high degree of acceptance of aggression against men by women.

Studies have shown many police officers do not treat domestic violence against men as a serious crime, and often will view the male victim as a "pathetic figure". It is for this reason, and also the fact that men are most often physically stronger than women, that male victims are often less likely to report domestic violence than female victims. When and if they do, men are often treated as the aggressor in the situation, and often even placed under arrest.[172]

A 32-nation study by Straus (2008) of university students "revealed an overwhelming body of evidence that bidirectional violence is the predominant pattern of perpetration; and this study, along with evidence from many other studies (Medeiros & Straus, 2007), indicates that the etiology of PV is mostly parallel for men and women."[173] A study by Whitaker et al. (2007) concluded that female perpetrated intimate partner violence is more common than male among adolescents.[146]

Some researchers have found a relationship between the availability of domestic violence services, improved laws and enforcement regarding domestic violence, increased access to divorce, and higher earnings for women with declines in intimate partner homicide by women.[174]

Findings that women are as violent as men have been termed "gender symmetry".[169][175][176][177][178][179]

Straus and Gelles (1995) found that in couples reporting spousal violence, 27% of the time the man struck the first blow; in 24% of cases, the woman initiated the violence.

I guess no gender is nicer.