Having problems with my roommates

[peacefulveglady]

Hi pvl...I’m wondering if you took in these roommates to help with expenses with the house. Of course, you are under no obligation to reveal personal details. It’s just that your post raises certain questions and I think most of us feel badly for your situation. It’s hard to give advice sometimes.

yes they wanted to come and help us and with the pandemic going on , they wanted too not be out on streets.
We decided too do the following , we ordered me a small room sized fridge the same size the most hotels uses , I am going to put my vegan milks and cheeses in there. Also we are going too later in the month order a much bigger freezer to go in our garage , I will be taking the smaller one and I am going to padlock that and put my frozen vegan stuff in there. Most of my dried good vegan stuff is put up in bin in our bedroom.

 

[Sproutskies]

yes they wanted to come and help us and with the pandemic going on , they wanted too not be out on streets.
We decided too do the following , we ordered me a small room sized fridge the same size the most hotels uses , I am going to put my vegan milks and cheeses in there. Also we are going too later in the month order a much bigger freezer to go in our garage , I will be taking the smaller one and I am going to padlock that and put my frozen vegan stuff in there. Most of my dried good vegan stuff is put up in bin in our bedroom.

This seems like a solution to the logistical issue but still has a vibe of tip toeing around the real problem.

From what it sounds like.. Your roommates are not accepting of boundaries and personal spaces.. and your husband is not supporting you in setting those boundaries (with disrespectful roommates) in this shared space. Correct me if I'm wrong.

By you moving your food out of the shared fridge and storage space you might be signaling to them that they can treat you like a pushover/doormat whenever they disagree with something.. and that you will give in to their silly requests.

Honestly from hearing your perspective on this it seems like you might benefit by standing up for your personal space and set the boundaries for their own food storage. Also creating a concrete consequence that you could enforce with them if they break your trust or invade your personal space. The problem looks to be more of a lack of respect for you in the home. People don't just change and give respect unless you set the example of how you should be treated.. and accept nothing short of that standard from them.

Hope things improve and you get the REPECT YOU DESERVE!

 

[beforewisdom]

yes they wanted to come and help us and with the pandemic going on , they wanted too not be out on streets.
We decided too do the following , we ordered me a small room sized fridge the same size the most hotels uses , I am going to put my vegan milks and cheeses in there. Also we are going too later in the month order a much bigger freezer to go in our garage , I will be taking the smaller one and I am going to padlock that and put my frozen vegan stuff in there. Most of my dried good vegan stuff is put up in bin in our bedroom.

This goes beyond veganism so I will not try to say too much more.

1. They are your tenants, not your roommates.
2. Your tenants should be the ones inconvenienced by having to keep their food in a new place, not you.
3. You can always find more tenants.
4. Your husband should be totally on your team

My apologies if this goes beyond the boundaries of personal respect
1. You need to start thinking in terms of changing yourself to stand up for yourself and not let people disrespect you,.
2. Your husband has acted disrespectfully to you gy not standing up for you. That kind of thing only gets worse over time. Think about it.

Personally, if it was me I would being looking for new tenants. I would also be have that serious talk with your husband about how he isn't on your team and that needs to change. If he isn't understanding, apologetic, and seen changing I would reevaluate the marriage. I know it sounds harsh, but those kind of things tend not to improve with time if the person has been communicated with and does not change on their own.

I sincerely wish you the best of luck going forward.