I’m having an anxiety upset. I hate living in this world. Please help.

[Rory17]

Hello ,
This isn’t just vegan-related, but I’m Autistic and I suffer very badly with anxiety. I just went into my mum at a ridiculous hour asking about getting my sleep-in headphones working. She got really cross. I got really upset (crying, not angry). I desperately wanted compassion from my mum, but she just got really angry. She got really mean. She tapped me angrily. She said mean things.
I have anxiety over not looking after myself properly. I have anxiety over my binge eating. I have anxiety over wanting a dog and not being able to have one. I have great anxiety and sensitivity when other people get mean and angry.
I kept saying I hate my life. I kept thinking on the lines of hating living in this world. I do a lot of campaigning online. There’s so much animal cruelty, world poverty, violence and animal slaughter in this world. Most people aren’t even vegan, including my family.
I want to get therapy and we’ve tried and tried. I have numerous self-help books and I’m on medication for anxiety.
I’m still crying.
Please help.
Thank you .

 

[rogerjolly]

Hi Rory,

I cannot offer you much help. I have little experience with autism. But I do know that it is good to have a safe place to have a little rant when you need it. That place is here.

I also know that the NHS is in a dreadful state at the moment regards counselling with waiting lists of several months. Anxiety is a bit like having a broken leg. You need immediate treatment.

The only way you can overcome this is to pester your GP. Then pester your GP. Then pester your GP again. Then………….

Good luck,

Roger.

 

[Elisabeth65]

Hello Rory

Don't know what to say on how to help but I do know how you feel. I've had lifelong problems with depression/anxiety - luckily for me Seroxat came along 20 years ago which has helped to lessen the problem.

So very very sorry that you are not allowed to have a dog - have you thought about doing 'voluntary dog walking' for local elderly folk (check online).

There is a really good book online called 'The Forbidden Religion' its a freebie - I often read it as like yourself I feel that I hate living in this world (it is not a nice place and this book explains why) and its because of non-veganism and have felt like this for the best part of my entire 65 years to date. The book makes you realise that its okay to not be happy clappy here as in truth it is not a very nice place in fact its a bloodbath and the animals are the unfortunate victims.

Try not to binge eat it solves nothing (and I do know how you feel) feel like doing it myself but don't as I'm depressed enough as it is.

So please give the book a try - its a freebie so you might as well - who knows you might find it helpful and might even find the answers that you are looking for.

Love Liz

 

[Elisabeth65]

Hi Rory,

I cannot offer you much help. I have little experience with autism. But I do know that it is good to have a safe place to have a little rant when you need it. That place is here.

I also know that the NHS is in a dreadful state at the moment regards counselling with waiting lists of several months. Anxiety is a bit like having a broken leg. You need immediate treatment.

The only way you can overcome this is to pester your GP. Then pester your GP. Then pester your GP again. Then………….

Good luck,

Roger.

Hello Roger

I'm a 65 vegan female living in London. Wondering if you would like to swap phone numbers it would be nice to have a vegan in my own age group to chat to occasionally.

Kind regards

Liz

 

[MotherMom]

Rory, I might add a little here. One thing we humans sometimes fail to realize is that everyone is different and we all react differently to things. Your mum surely loves you and respects you but she probably also has bad days like you do and maybe doesn't know how to handle everything that comes her way. Not one human out there comes with a manual unfortunately. Yes, there is terrible animal abuse out there and it really saddens me. There is also terrible human abuse which saddens me also. With that being said, there are even more people out there who take great care of animals and people both. There are more animals that are well cared for out there than there are mistreated ones. I would love to save the world too, but I know I'm just one person. I'm a person with feelings like you are and that's a beautiful thing! Know what I do? I don't want to see these ugly videos that individuals or groups post about the bad things because it makes me sad. Instead, I look at the adorable cute videos of these animals out there (there are a lot!) and I follow my veterinarian friends and how they take care of tons of animals that people pay them to care for, and THAT makes me happy and laugh at the funny cuteness! Some might say I prefer to live in a bubble, well that's fine! I like the bubble and it wards off the sadness and anxiety!

 

[Rory17]

Hello ,
I get your gist and would not want to upset you or for you to cause yourself too much upset or mental health problems. However, I, like Freelee the Banana Girl, believe that it is important to recognise and learn about negative things like animal cruelty, etc., in order to then make a positive change, like donating to help the animal or signing and sharing the petition/s. You can make a difference. There’s a quote that’s like “Never believe that a few caring individuals cannot change the world, for indeed that’s all who ever have.” By not learning about violence, cruelty and environmental devastation, you could be missing out on opportunities to do great good for other sentient beings and for the environment.
You may say that “I already know there’s animal cruelty, so I don’t need to expose myself to it”, but it’s not just about knowing that animal cruelty exists, it’s about knowing individual cases and issues and how to help. For instance, if a caring person didn’t know about Yulin, elephant riding in Asia, the moon bears, the kangaroo hunting in Australia and individual dogs and other animals that are abused, how are they supposed to help them?
I’m absolutely not asking to over-expose, cause yourself unnecessary upset or mental health problems (please don’t do that, please don’t add to the world’s suffering by creating more unnecessary suffering for yourself), but just educating yourself about cruelty, violence and environmental devastation, the issues and individual cases, whilst still looking after yourself is important to be informed and be able to help the other sentient beings and the environment...

 

[nobody]

Yes, there is terrible animal abuse out there and it really saddens me. There is also terrible human abuse which saddens me also. With that being said, there are even more people out there who take great care of animals and people both. There are more animals that are well cared for out there than there are mistreated ones.

It would be interesting to see what the real numbers are. There may be more people out there taking good care of other people than mistreating them but I doubt it. As far animals who need to be cared for, like domesticated animals, my impression is that 99.999999999% are being mistreated and only .000000001% or less are well cared for. Most of the animals being mistreated are slaughtered for meat in their youth...

Animals Slaughter Kill Counter- The Vegan Web Designer

This website shows the numbers of animals killed worldwide by the meat, egg, and dairy industries. See in real time how many animals are slaughtered

thevegancalculator.com

....but even beloved family member pets are mistreated.

For example, cats are denied dental cleanings and dental xrays and extractions under anesthesia, and are denied even basic dental care, such a daily teeth brushing, so elderly cats usually have a mouthful of painful cavities, and when they can no longer eat they are put down because their lives are not considered to be worth it to spend the money for the dental work. Meanwhile, the individual or family that does not take care of their cat's teeth but can totally afford to wastes money on many other frivolous things.

 

[MotherMom]

Oh my, I never knew cats were denied dental care. My vet always has suggested it for cats and they teach that in vet school as well. Maybe it depends on the vet's beliefs or where they're located perhaps? If your cat is denied dental cleaning by its vet, maybe a search for a different vet is in order. Anyway, I was simply trying to emphasize the positive things out there. It always makes me feel good to see people take such good care of their pets, and I see more of that than the opposite. Nowadays, pets are families' children, a member of the family. My vet friends and vet school friends love it and it's actually harder to get into vet school nowadays because there's such a demand for vets now mostly due to humans relying so much on their pets as companions and for good mental health. People spend a fortune on their beloveds. Maybe I lead a sheltered life, but I see this everyday, all year long, and it's a wonderful thing.

 

[nobody]

Oh my, I never knew cats were denied dental care. My vet always has suggested it for cats and they teach that in vet school as well. Maybe it depends on the vet's beliefs or where they're located perhaps? If your cat is denied dental cleaning by its vet, maybe a search for a different vet is in order. Anyway, I was simply trying to emphasize the positive things out there. It always makes me feel good to see people take such good care of their pets, and I see more of that than the opposite. Nowadays, pets are families' children, a member of the family. My vet friends and vet school friends love it and it's actually harder to get into vet school nowadays because there's such a demand for vets now mostly due to humans relying so much on their pets as companions and for good mental health. People spend a fortune on their beloveds. Maybe I lead a sheltered life, but I see this everyday, all year long, and it's a wonderful thing.

I was saying cats are denied dental care by their owners, who do not want to pay for it or deal with it - not that they are denied dental care by veterinarians.

To clarify what is supposed to happen in my opinion: someone who has a cat should brush their teeth every day, using enzymatic pet toothpaste, and every 2 or 3 years the cat needs to have a dental cleaning under anesthesia from a vet with the ability to take Xrays. 1. Anesthesia, 2. Xrays 3. Cleaning and also extractions if needed, based on the xrays. If a vet does not have an Xray machine, they have no business cleaning a cat's teeth, because you can't tell what is going on in there without Xrays, and many vets without an Xray machine have butchered cats' mouths and left them unable to eat.

I know quite a few people with cats and not a single one of them bruses their cats' teeth or pays for them to have cleanings and extractions from a vet with the required equipment every 2 to 3 years. I have cats and I do take care of their teeth but didn't always take care of cats' teeth and once had an elderly cat with tons of feline cavities, which I dealt with way too late and learned my lesson from that.

You said you see more people taking good care of pets than the opposite. What about farm animals? They're all killed in their youth so that isn't taking very good care of them and farm animals make up the overwhelming majority of animals in our care, not pets.

 

[nobody]

There are more animals that are well cared for out there than there are mistreated ones.

The thing that I was saying about most animals in our care being slaughtered in their youth ignores the fact that the care they receive is so terrible that large numbers of them do not even survive long enough to be slaughtered:

“... every year, hundreds of millions of animals—many times more than the number killed for fur, in shelters, and in laboratories combined—don’t even make it to slaughter. They actually suffer to death.”

Is Vegan Outreach right about how many animals suffer to death?

www.countinganimals.com

 

[MotherMom]

I hear you. I agree that not everyone takes the most ultimate care of their animals, but for the most part, I take my hat off to most individuals who have animals whether it's farm animals or house pets. Keep in mind that when an animal ages, as humans do, their teeth and health declines. Our teeth get worse too as we age, and it's not because we didn't brush our teeth everyday. Unfortunately cats/dogs have a shorter life span than we do and you'll see their teeth decline sooner than ours.
I have 2 cats and clean their teeth every so often and have had them cleaned, however, I do not clean them everyday and probably will not incorporate that into my daily routine any time soon. I can also say that my cats live quite a happy life and have it pretty darn good. I've had horses and hens also. They also were well cared for. None of my animals were "mistreated" as you refer. However, if you're going to use the label "mistreated" because one doesn't clean their cats teeth everyday, then I guess you will say I mistreated my spoiled cats. I had horses and hens - I wonder how you're going to say I mistreated them? I'm curious to know.
I only responded to your post because I was attempting to instill some positive outlooks on the negativity that I saw in your post, because there are wonderful people out there taking great care of their animals. Sometimes negativity and only seeing the bad out there leads to more of a glim outlook which can ultimately cause a decline in overall happiness and content. I hate to see that self destruction in an otherwise good person.

 

[nobody]

I hear you. I agree that not everyone takes the most ultimate care of their animals, but for the most part, I take my hat off to most individuals who have animals whether it's farm animals or house pets.

Most individuals with farm animals are in the business of exploiting them for meat or, milk, eggs or wool and then meat after the animals' productivity drops off. So when you say you take your hat off to most individuals who have farm animals, are you including people who are farming them for profit or are you talking about people who keep farm animals as pets? If you are talking about people who farm animals for profit, then why did you even come to this website, to spread your carnist views? I don't take my hat off to them because I believe in animal rights and farming animals for meat and other products is not compatible with animal rights.

Keep in mind that when an animal ages, as humans do, their teeth and health declines. Our teeth get worse too as we age, and it's not because we didn't brush our teeth everyday. Unfortunately cats/dogs have a shorter life span than we do and you'll see their teeth decline sooner than ours.

Teeth should not be allowed to decline. In a human, if a tooth is not viable, it comes out, hopefully. The person is not just left to live with a cavity getting progressively worse and worse, while people say "oh well, teeth decline with age".

A feline cavity is called a FORL and it cannot be filled like a human cavity because it is actually a situation where the gum starts growing up around the tooth, which results from plaque growth, and it creates a very painful situation for the cat and the bacteria from it gets into the bloodstream and causes problems for other organs, such as the kidneys. So if a cat has a FORL on a tooth, the tooth needs to come out, and if every tooth in the jaw of the cat needs to come out due to FORLs, so be it. Cats don't need teeth to eat wet cat food and they can even eat dry food without teeth but they shouldn't eat much dry food anyway because it's not as healthy as wet food for cats.

If you don't want for a cat to get FORLs, daily brushing is essential to prevent plaque buildup. But even when you do brush every day, sometimes they get FORLs anyway, but not as many.

I have 2 cats and clean their teeth every so often and have had them cleaned, however, I do not clean them everyday and probably will not incorporate that into my daily routine any time soon. I can also say that my cats live quite a happy life and have it pretty darn good. I've had horses and hens also. They also were well cared for. None of my animals were "mistreated" as you refer. However, if you're going to use the label "mistreated" because one doesn't clean their cats teeth everyday, then I guess you will say I mistreated my spoiled cats. I had horses and hens - I wonder how you're going to say I mistreated them? I'm curious to know.

Maybe "mistreat" is too strong a word to use in a case where someone doesn't take care of a cat's teeth but it is definitely inadequate care to not take care of a cat's teeth, and since maybe 99% of people do not care for their cats teeth at all, that same percentage of cats receive inadequate care from their owners in my opinion.

But I think the word "mistreat" fits perfectly to a situation where someone pays to have a chicken or other farm animal tortured and then slaughtered just so they can enjoy the taste of flesh or milk or eggs. And if you buy and eat animal products, that is what you are doing and that is a more pressing issue than how you care for your cats, and much more important than how you have cared for animals in the past that are not even in your possession any longer.

I only responded to your post because I was attempting to instill some positive outlooks on the negativity that I saw in your post, because there are wonderful people out there taking great care of their animals. Sometimes negativity and only seeing the bad out there leads to more of a glim outlook which can ultimately cause a decline in overall happiness and content. I hate to see that self destruction in an otherwise good person.

You were trying to spread your carnist worldview that says everything is just peach keen, most animals in the care of humans aren't mistreated, they are just slaughtered when they are very young but that's fine because animal exploitation is okay. To me that isn't positivity. It is just someone who does not believe in animal rights talking about how great animal exploitation is.

 

[rogerjolly]

Hi MotherMom.

You will probably feel that “nobody” is giving you a hard time.

You have posted five times on the forum. The first two were about anxiety problems involving two different people. This tells me that you are a compassionate person attempting to offer a bit of help where you can.

Your third post was about your son having problems because of becoming vegan.

I am going to use the word “ignorant” shortly. It is used not as a derogatory term but in its original meaning of not knowing or not fully understanding.

Vegans are vegan for three simple reasons. Ethical. Health. Environmental. These vary in importance to individuals in various proportions but for most of us the ethical arguments are our driving force. I am mainly an ethical vegan and strongly suspect that “nobody” is as well.

You have stated that farm animals are well treated. Vegans know that this is simply not true and believe that the majority of people, like yourself, are simply ignorant. Some have given it no thought at all. Some have been hoodwinked by gargantuan commercial interests. Some accept that there is suffering but excuse it with the belief that it is necessary.

You need to educate yourself for two reasons.

Firstly you are on a vegan forum. For your own personal development you should find out what we are all about. If you search through various threads here you will find any number of excellent videos explaining the true situation.

The second reason is that you should be fully informed so you can understand your son’s thinking. Then you can support him and discuss any problems he has in a loving helpful way.

“nobody” has been very blunt with you. He need not apologise for that. He is passionate and sees your ignorance in front of him in a forum aimed at supporting fellow vegans and wannabe vegans.

As for me: I have broken one of the fundamental laws of veganism. I feel I have preached rather too much.

Roger.

 

[KLS52]

As for me: I have broken one of the fundamental laws of veganism. I feel I have preached rather too much.

Roger.

I think you did an amazing job.