Clueless Git
Plant powered
You're getting nothing sharper than crayons to play with untill you let that one go.
Should children always come first?
- Thread starter Ann Chovie
- Start date
You're getting nothing sharper than crayons to play with untill you let that one go.
OP
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She is 31 shyvas but we have a strange dynamic in which we have historically been really close and more friends than mum and daughter at times. And this being the case she has been privy to my private life much more than she should of and felt confident to comment on it.
I was just thinking that.. I need to bear this in mind and tread carefully in light of it when I talk to her. I need to set new boundaries and return her to her appropriate role of daughter again. This is just one area I need to assert myself in at present but a very important one as we spend considerable amounts of time together and she is attempting to dictate what I do with my social time .
Of course only if what I do clashes with her wanting my company. Otherwise she would cheerfully let me gather dust on the shelf until she needs me again!!!!
ledboots
Peace
Edited because I just reread the thread and realized I had repeated the same thing I said initially in my first post.
Last edited:
OP
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When the "child" is an adult of 31, that's a good time to be friends. The parent-child relationship needs to be a parent-child relationship when the child is still a juvenile; when the child has reached adulthood, a healthy parent child relationship will be that of two adults. If you raised her to not have appropriate boundaries with people in her life, that's a different matter, but should be handled in the way you would handle it with any other adult, whether you gave birth to her or not.
Clueless Git
Plant powered
Crayons? I can have crayons ?
You get no more if you eat them again though - K?
Do you two ever chat in person or on the phone, or are all your personal exchanges confined to discussion boards?
That is also what I wanted to say. A certain pattern has been established and it is too late to change the adult/child relationship.
There are two ways to spoil a
1 Always give the child what he/she wants
2 Never give a child what he/she wants
No one can have everything children need to learn this and yes sometimes it will make them miserable but as long as they get some things they can cope with not getting everthing they want. As for giving up people for children it depends on the person and if the person would cause harm to the child. But there again parents have needs too!
There are two ways to spoil a child
1 Always give the child what he/she wants
2 Never give a child what he/she wants
No one can have everything children need to learn this and yes sometimes it will make them miserable but as long as they get some things they can cope with not getting everthing they want. As for giving up people for children it depends on the person and if the person would cause harm to the child. But there again parents have needs too!
OP
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I have done a lot of number 1 in the past and I am working on giving my son what he needs instead at present . I think he would probably perceive it to be number 2 instead though!
Clueless Git
Plant powered
I have done a lot of number 1 in the past and I am working on giving my son what he needs instead at present . I think he would probably perceive it to be number 2 instead though!
You have my support.
Once you've done with it can you wash it and give it back to me please?
