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Psychology The Narcissist vs. Your Self-Esteem
- Thread starter MadamSarcastra
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One of my favourite quotes from a lady I used to work with:
"Who turned off the air conditioner? They're not thinking about other people, only themselves. If they think it is too cold in here they can bring a sweater from home!"
This thread just keeps making me go, wow. I'm grateful I didn't grow up with narcissistic parents. Hugs to those of you having to deal with that. Must be extra hard when you are young and impressionable.
I had problems dealing with my boss for a few years but I'm in an ok place now, knowing it's his issue. And I can feel sorry for him and not let him get to me like he used to.
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Well, to be honest, it's easier to bring a sweater from home than for someone to try to dress for a warm/hot office. Not everyone has the appropriate clothing or is willing to bare their arms at work. OTOH, simply pulling on a sweater at work is far easier.
I used to be that complainer at work, and ultimately learned it's just better to bring a sweater.
I'm another one who had a narcissistic mother. My sister and I are 69 and 60, respectively, and we're still dealing with the fallout. I feel sad for my mother also - she was deeply unhappy, which is probably true for most/all narcissists.
I suspect that narcissistic mothers probably have a deeper impact on their children than narcissistic fathers do, simply because the major part of child rearing, especially those incredibly formative early years, falls on mothers.
I suspect that narcissistic mothers probably have a deeper impact on their children than narcissistic fathers do, simply because the major part of child rearing, especially those incredibly formative early years, falls on mothers.
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I just wanna get this out there now, before I start seriously cooking (well, not "seriously... more like lovingly reheating & dressing up leftovers)....
I had no idea this thread post would be quite so popular... I'm sad & comforted at the same time. I already felt welcomed into a ... sort of secret society... (it's rare to not eat meat around here).... but finding deeper connections with fellow veg*ans, that I already really like!... that hits home.
Thank you for being my friends.
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Yes, I'm currently drinking & about to cook & jam, and I'm really freakin' diggin' it.... somebody cook & dance with me!
I had no idea this thread post would be quite so popular... I'm sad & comforted at the same time. I already felt welcomed into a ... sort of secret society... (it's rare to not eat meat around here).... but finding deeper connections with fellow veg*ans, that I already really like!... that hits home.
Thank you for being my friends.
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Yes, I'm currently drinking & about to cook & jam, and I'm really freakin' diggin' it.... somebody cook & dance with me!
Perhaps. But my point is that way she worded her complaint made her sound like she didn't care how other people felt. Which is ironic.
It is sad how many of us had this experience.
The older I get the more I'm thinking that both my parents would score very highly for NPD. I decided to cut them completely out of my life. It's been very hard at times and it's meant that I have spent Christmas on my own for some years and I didn't have them at my wedding etc... but looking back I wish I had done it a lot sooner.
The older I get the more I'm thinking that both my parents would score very highly for NPD. I decided to cut them completely out of my life. It's been very hard at times and it's meant that I have spent Christmas on my own for some years and I didn't have them at my wedding etc... but looking back I wish I had done it a lot sooner.
I get this. My boss has something to say as soon as he walks in the door.
I'm usually cold at work. I have a lightweight jacket and a portable heater, lol. Its on all summer.
It's a very old building that was added onto a few times. So in order for one section to be even slightly comfortable, the rest of us have to freeze.
What a waste of energy, though.
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Same here. My desk happens to be on the outside wall, so the vents blow right onto me. I freeze my a$$ off because the center of the office is an oven without the AC. I have a portable heater, too, lol.
RE: the NPD...major hugs to all of you who have had to deal with this. I was lucky my parents weren't like that, but I sure as heck have to work with several people I suspect would fall under the NPD umbrella. It's astonishing how inconsiderate these people are.
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Also it depends on the climate. In a hot climate the air con is a necessity for a lot of the year... but in a cold area the air con is only used for a small portion.. then heat is needed a lot more.
I have worked in offices which were both too hot and too cold. Too hot was more of a problem in NZ but too cold in Europe...
I have worked in offices which were both too hot and too cold. Too hot was more of a problem in NZ but too cold in Europe...
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Mom, NPD.... Dad, OCD. And me?? Hooo!! Take your pick! LMAOI have a mother who's not only on the narcissism spectrum, but who also has OCD.
I had trouble sleeping last night and so I was thinking of a manager I had when I was in my twenties. I may as well tell the story as I doubt she will ever be on a veg forum to read this.
I started work for a company that had an all-female staff and my manager was really volatile, she would swing from mood to mood. She would wear really inappropriate, skimpy clothes and complain that she needed the heating in the office turned up full blast. Her behaviour was bizarre, but it seemed like everyone there let her get away with it. She would get really angry if anyone disagreed with her or she would sulk until they apologised to her. I once disagreed with her in a meeting (something very minor) and she looked at me as if I had said I was going to kill her entire family. After that I just thought, right, I know exactly what will annoy you the most so I tried to do it every chance I had to try and deflate her ego. She would glower at me and I would just be almost laughing in her face as she was so ridiculous. There was one other woman who worked there who also refused to get manipulated by her and we were all out in a restaurant and I actually thought the two of them were about to get into a physical fight at one point!
She ended up getting fired in a spectacular fashion as she was breaking the rules of the company, narcissists often think that the normal rules don't apply to them. I do hope that the firing was a wake up call as she seriously needed professional help as she was obviously unhappy under all the glamour, makeup and fancy cars. She was massively in debt as she spent so much money on her outward appearance. I suspect she had an ED too.
I started work for a company that had an all-female staff and my manager was really volatile, she would swing from mood to mood. She would wear really inappropriate, skimpy clothes and complain that she needed the heating in the office turned up full blast. Her behaviour was bizarre, but it seemed like everyone there let her get away with it. She would get really angry if anyone disagreed with her or she would sulk until they apologised to her. I once disagreed with her in a meeting (something very minor) and she looked at me as if I had said I was going to kill her entire family. After that I just thought, right, I know exactly what will annoy you the most so I tried to do it every chance I had to try and deflate her ego. She would glower at me and I would just be almost laughing in her face as she was so ridiculous.
There was one other woman who worked there who also refused to get manipulated by her and we were all out in a restaurant and I actually thought the two of them were about to get into a physical fight at one point!She ended up getting fired in a spectacular fashion as she was breaking the rules of the company, narcissists often think that the normal rules don't apply to them. I do hope that the firing was a wake up call as she seriously needed professional help as she was obviously unhappy under all the glamour, makeup and fancy cars. She was massively in debt as she spent so much money on her outward appearance. I suspect she had an ED too.
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Not only that, but narcissists think that they set the rules, that they are an authority on absolutely everything and if you question them you deserve harsh punishment... they are deranged authoritarians.
Often they worship other authoritarians who are obviously corrupt. An example is the kind of people who would have admired Thatcher in the day, or fans of Donald Rumsfeld.
Often they worship other authoritarians who are obviously corrupt. An example is the kind of people who would have admired Thatcher in the day, or fans of Donald Rumsfeld.
