Upset

[Rory17]

Hello ,
I’m very upset at the moment. I just had an argument with my mum. She got really mad and I got really upset.
Anyhow, so I posted something on Facebook about veganism and animal rights. I posted it in the wrong places, in a What’s On group for my village and in a Devon group. It angered some people online and Mum got furious. We live in a rural, farming area, by the way.
Those of you who follow my posts will know that I’m Autistic. I am very sensitive, especially where it comes to people’s anger and hurtful words. I wasn’t going to tell Mum. When I did, she reacted in a way I didn’t expect. I expected her to tick me off, but I never expected that level of anger.
I hate animal cruelty and loathe having to live in a world with animal cruelty. Humans are the worst species ever and animals are so, so much better...
I’m very, very distressed and in need of some emotional support right now...
Thank you .

 

[Brian W]

Hello ,
I’m very upset at the moment. I just had an argument with my mum. She got really mad and I got really upset.
Anyhow, so I posted something on Facebook about veganism and animal rights. I posted it in the wrong places, in a What’s On group for my village and in a Devon group. It angered some people online and Mum got furious. We live in a rural, farming area, by the way.
Those of you who follow my posts will know that I’m Autistic. I am very sensitive, especially where it comes to people’s anger and hurtful words. I wasn’t going to tell Mum. When I did, she reacted in a way I didn’t expect. I expected her to tick me off, but I never expected that level of anger.
I hate animal cruelty and loathe having to live in a world with animal cruelty. Humans are the worst species ever and animals are so, so much better...
I’m very, very distressed and in need of some emotional support right now...
Thank you .

It seems strange that your mum, who knows you well and knows you are autistic, reacted so strongly but obviously she is human too and she probably regrets being so angry now. I don't know what to say that might help you but of course you have our support.

 

[Ahimsa]

Hello ,
I’m very upset at the moment. I just had an argument with my mum. She got really mad and I got really upset.
Anyhow, so I posted something on Facebook about veganism and animal rights. I posted it in the wrong places, in a What’s On group for my village and in a Devon group. It angered some people online and Mum got furious. We live in a rural, farming area, by the way.
Those of you who follow my posts will know that I’m Autistic. I am very sensitive, especially where it comes to people’s anger and hurtful words. I wasn’t going to tell Mum. When I did, she reacted in a way I didn’t expect. I expected her to tick me off, but I never expected that level of anger.
I hate animal cruelty and loathe having to live in a world with animal cruelty. Humans are the worst species ever and animals are so, so much better...
I’m very, very distressed and in need of some emotional support right now...
Thank you .

Don't worry about it. Your place is to speak out, and there's not much point in doing that to the already converted. The only dilemma I can see is that if you live in your mother's house and she isn't a vegan, then I guess you have respect her wishes regarding the community she lives in.

 

[peacefulveglady]

Do not worry let things roll off your back. This is practice because there are alot of mean people against Vegans and or people different then them. It should not matter to anyone what you put inside your body and wear. Its your choice to live a life full of compassion.

 

[Deleted member 3018]

I'm not adequate to give emotional support to anyone, but I have some simple rules that might help you out.

• Everyone has their right to have their feelings and opinions and to express those feelings and opinions.
• You aren't responsible for other peoples actions, words or feelings.
• You have the right to remove yourself from situations that seem hostile and scary.

 

[Urban Gardener]

It sounds like you did nothing wrong. You’re free to choose what you eat or don’t eat. You’re free to talk about your views.

My read on things, based on what you posted, is that your mom was upset because other people in the community were offended by your posts about veganism.

This isn’t a logical thing to be upset about in the long run. She’s either just shocked and she’ll get over it or she’s not being logical.

Let go of any guilt. It’ll be ok. By being vegan and standing up for animals, you’re doing the right thing.

 

[shyvas]

@Rory17 Why don't you join a vegan group in your area? I think that you are in Exeter and they is a thriving vegan community in this part of the south west.

You will be able to get the support you need and also go to meet ups (once Covid is over) and meet lots of interesting people. Don't fight against your farmer community alone but join others who have the same convictions as you do.

Just remember to think twice before writing or saying anything. Sometimes, it's the manner in which we phrase something that may be offensive to some people.

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[chickenmammalove]

Oh dear, of course that would be upsetting - especially for your own mother to lash out at you like that. I'm so sorry that happened. You must've felt dreadfully alone and shocked to receive such a response. It continually confounds me that the people who are simply trying to live ethically and advocate for the defenceless victims of violence and exploitation are the ones who receive hatred and anger. I really don't understand it. Those who stand up for human rights or even environmental rights (for instance, advocating to protect an old tree from being cut down, or to preserve wetlands) are almost always applauded, even by those who don't go to similar measures. Even those who work to protect cats and dogs are celebrated. At the worst, these people are received with indifference. But for some reason, vegans are received often with strong negative responses. For daring to stand up for all animals and to say that the unnecessary harm of any animal is wrong, we are called judgemental, insane, extreme, or hateful ourselves.

The crazy thing is that, before I went vegan, I had an indifferent - if not negative - view towards vegans. I avoided them and felt defensive around them without provocation. The worst experience I had with a vegan was with my sister who, as a teenager, was very passionate about veganism. She was emotional, but she had every reason to be. The people she loved were actively supporting cruelty! I'm still trying to figure out why I had that attitude up until the point of going vegan myself.

That being said, if it wasn't for passionate vegans sharing the truth, I wouldn't be vegan. If no one advocates for change, then nothing will change. By posting about veganism and exposing the truth, you are advocating for the real victims. I think that, for Germans under Nazi regime, it was easy to say nothing and believe the lies...to choose ignorance. But don't you think the Jews were grateful to those brave enough to expose the truth and fight for their rights? Luckily, we don't have to risk nearly as much to speak up for the animals.

 

[1956]

Hello ,
I’m very upset at the moment. I just had an argument with my mum. She got really mad and I got really upset.
Anyhow, so I posted something on Facebook about veganism and animal rights. I posted it in the wrong places, in a What’s On group for my village and in a Devon group. It angered some people online and Mum got furious. We live in a rural, farming area, by the way.
Those of you who follow my posts will know that I’m Autistic. I am very sensitive, especially where it comes to people’s anger and hurtful words. I wasn’t going to tell Mum. When I did, she reacted in a way I didn’t expect. I expected her to tick me off, but I never expected that level of anger.
I hate animal cruelty and loathe having to live in a world with animal cruelty. Humans are the worst species ever and animals are so, so much better...
I’m very, very distressed and in need of some emotional support right now...
Thank you .

Hello Rory,
So sorry that you and your mum had an argument about what you posted...
Even though you are living in your parents house you still have the right to your Own beliefs...
As does your mum, neither of you have to agree with each other, however, each should be respectful of the other’s beliefs...
Respecting does not Always mean agreeing...
What you posted may have made her uncomfortable or embarrassed, but, she didn’t post it You did! Animal rights and Veganism are topics that make Many people uncomfortable...probably because they realize that there is injustice and they would rather not think about it...
What you did took courage - I thank you for speaking for the Voiceless...
As someone else suggested if there is a Vegan meet-up in your area maybe have a think about joining, they might have some good ideas about how to put your love of animals to good use...
Oh, most importantly, please do ask your mum if the two of you could sit calmly together and have a chat about your feelings...Don’t let your love for the animals cause discord in your family... It is possible to disagree with someone and still love them...
Animals are So easy to love, people are Much more complicated!
All the best to you Rory,
Robin