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agreed, because then the guilt is taken off of you and put on others...Oh, let's start another thread; "Would you trust my decision to spank your kid(s)?"
Here is an article.... the comments are interesting to say the least. And let the debate continue!
http://www.care2.com/causes/spanking-linked-to-mental-health-problems-in-adulthood.html
Those who were subjected to such “harsh physical punishment” were two to seven percent more likely to develop mental health problems as adults.
There is always missing data with these articles.....
... and agendas.
But seriously it's not surprising than on going "harsh" punishment/discipline of any sort from a parent to a child could damage a child's psyche.
The survey data was from the National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions, collected between 2004 and 2005 and from 653 Americans over the age of 20. Participants were asked “As a child how often were you ever pushed, grabbed, shoved, slapped or hit by your parents or any adult living in your house?”; those who answered “sometimes” or greater were included in the study.
My husband and I didn't spank our children, adults now. I don't think I could hit any little kid, never mind my own. My daughter has ADHD; she could never sit still, but non-corporal discipline worked fine. We did the 1,2,3 thing, which was very effective with both kids. Basically, 1 is the warning, 2 is the last chance, 3 is time out. I used to just be able to quietly say "One", or even hold up one finger, and the kids knew. I didn't have to embarrass them in public by correcting them or yelling every two seconds. Time out was a bit of a pain for my girl, I had to redirect her many times when she was pre-three years old. It didn't usually get to the time out stage, as even little kids realize if they stop at One or even Two, life goes on as usual.
i wish that would work with my daughter. she doesn't really care about timeouts much. she weighs the pros/cons and usually just continues the behavior and does a timeout. and then it's on the fence whether she will continue or not.My husband and I didn't spank our children, adults now. I don't think I could hit any little kid, never mind my own. My daughter has ADHD; she could never sit still, but non-corporal discipline worked fine. We did the 1,2,3 thing, which was very effective with both kids. Basically, 1 is the warning, 2 is the last chance, 3 is time out. I used to just be able to quietly say "One", or even hold up one finger, and the kids knew. I didn't have to embarrass them in public by correcting them or yelling every two seconds. Time out was a bit of a pain for my girl, I had to redirect her many times when she was pre-three years old. It didn't usually get to the time out stage, as even little kids realize if they stop at One or even Two, life goes on as usual.
My daughter hated sitting in timeout because sitting still for her was (is still, at 23) difficult and boring. Sometimes if she was misbehaving in a restaurant or when I was on the phone, for example, she would think she could get away with more. In a restaurant she would get timeout in the car (husband or I with her, lol) And I would repeat the 123 and timeout if I had to, trying to be consistent.i wish that would work with my daughter. she doesn't really care about timeouts much. she weighs the pros/cons and usually just continues the behavior and does a timeout. and then it's on the fence whether she will continue or not.
lol.My daughter hated sitting in timeout because sitting still for her was (is still, at 23) difficult and boring. Sometimes if she was misbehaving in a restaurant or when I was on the phone, for example, she would think she could get away with more. In a restaurant she would get timeout in the car (husband or I with her, lol) And I would repeat the 123 and timeout if I had to, trying to be consistent.
My son never minded timeout, but he doesn't like to be wrong or corrected, so he usually stopped on One anyway.
As they got older, taking away privileges worked well. Video games for son, phone for daughter. Now they are pretty bossy themselves , but my son just fixed my TV yesterday, so can't complain.