Do you believe in spanking as a form of discipline?

[Digger]

We always use other forms of punishment first. including cutting off fingers, heads, etc.

Problem solved!

 

[uno]

Can't everyone agree to disagree?

The digs that are continually being made seem tedious.

Are we circling much?
Everyone agrees that hitting/slapping/spanking a child with severe force is not on?
People use this method at an extreme when they consider it necessary i.e child is not responding to any other form of communication?
Nobody in this thread is an abuser?

I'm doing good Digger, thanks for asking

Digger is tedious. lol.

 

[Lord Snot]

Is this going to be a general rule - that if anyone says "I don't want to post in this thread again", we are not to address anything that the poster has said in the thread? It sounds like a verbal form of musical chairs - the first one who says "I'm outta here" automatically gets the last word.

No, there is no rule. I just think we can be more sensible than we have been in the last few pages. If a discussion has got so heated that people are sniping at each other instead of discussing the point at hand then what is more constructive, letting someone bow out without trying to engage them in argument again, or continuing to post about the poster instead of the discussion?

Francesca hit the nail on the head: "The digs that are continually being made seem tedious.". I would have thought people would want to return to a civil discussion.

 

[Digger]

I think spanking is fine as long as it's done by me and the receiver is a sexy guitar player and he has a sexy little bum that looks perfect in cargo shorts.

I look quite fetching in cargo shorts.

 

[Moll Flanders]

Is this going to be a general rule - that if anyone says "I don't want to post in this thread again", we are not to address anything that the poster has said in the thread? It sounds like a verbal form of musical chairs - the first one who says "I'm outta here" automatically gets the last word.

OMG, fine you can quote me all you like and talk amongst yourselves of how I'm being so mean to these poor parents but I'm not going to respond anymore as this discussion is pointless as I'm always going to be against physical punishment of kids. There's only so many ways I can keep saying the same thing.

 

[Digger]

Not for nothing, but these kind of threads generate a lot of traffic so I'm not necessarily opposed to it as a rule.

 

[mlp]

No, there is no rule. I just think we can be more sensible than we have been in the last few pages. If a discussion has got so heated that people are sniping at each other instead of discussing the point at hand then what is more constructive, letting someone bow out without trying to engage them in argument again, or continuing to post about the poster instead of the discussion?

Francesca hit the nail on the head: "The digs that are continually being made seem tedious.". I would have thought people would want to return to a civil discussion.

*Shrug* I thought I was discussing the point at hand, not engaging in personal sniping. Apparently I was wrong. Time for me to say "I'm outta here" - that means, of couse, that no one should say anything more about anything I've said in this thread.

 

[Digger]

*Shrug* I thought I was discussing the point at hand, not engaging in personal sniping. Apparently I was wrong. Time for me to say "I'm outta here" - that means, of couse, that no one should say anything more about anything I've said in this thread.

I love you.

 

[Lord Snot]

*Shrug* I thought I was discussing the point at hand, not engaging in personal sniping. Apparently I was wrong. Time for me to say "I'm outta here" - that means, of couse, that no one should say anything more about anything I've said in this thread.

Quoting just to lure you back

I haven't been posting some kind of pompous Official Moderator Rules That Must Be Followed On Pain Of Death. I'm just all to see good posters jumping on each other's backs (outside of the Sexuality forum anyway). And it was an interesting debate until the debate was forgotten whilst everybody made digs at everybody else.

Surely somebody has something more to say about spanking?

 

[Muggle]

From the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children:

Why smacking is never a good idea

Parents may believe there are occasions when only a smack will work. For example, your child is very disobedient; your toddler runs into the road; or one of your children bites a playmate. It can be tempting to think a smack sorts out these incidents quickly, but it does nothing to teach your child about how you want them to behave.

Instead, it:

- gives a bad example of how to handle strong emotions
- may lead your child to hit or bully others
- may encourage your child to lie, or hide feelings, to avoid smacking
- can make defiant behaviour worse, so discipline gets even harder
- leads to a resentful and angry child, damaging family relationships if it goes on for a long time.

Most parents behave in ways they later regret – be it excessive shouting or smacking. If it happens, say you're sorry, make up and try again. This teaches your child a valuable lesson.

http://www.nspcc.org.uk/help-and-ad...tter-behaviour/better-behaviour_wda88967.html

Before any Americans go batshit crazy at me, "spanking" isn't a term that is used widely in Britain (I don't know about the other Brits in this thread but I've only ever heard it used by Americans). I think most of the Brits in this thread have just adjusted to using that term for this thread rather than deal with the whole American English vs British English thing.
"Smacking" is the term that is usually used here and yes it does mean hitting a child on their bottom with a flat palm.

 

[kibbleforlola]

Surely somebody has something more to say about spanking?

Wellllll...fun tidbit: I can spank bf all day long, but if he tries to playfully smack my *** back, Lola will put herself between us and give him a warning growl. I think we know who her favorite is.

 

[Digger]

Just for clarification... is spanking the monkey still okay?

 

[Lord Snot]

Just for clarification... is spanking the monkey still okay?

It's self improvement.

 

[AspireToExpire]

Mlp, I am on my phone and i may or may not have reported your post about double rainbows, lol

 

[Digger]

Okay cool... so we've all calmed down now. Loving the feel.

 

[KLS52]

How about we discuss:

What do you think are the most effective methods of discipline? Do you try to use a consistent method and only resort to others if your 'favourite' fails? Is spanking a part of your normal discipline or would you only use it in extreme cases?

I, for one, would like to see this addressed. I am curious about time-out being used as a punishment. From what I've heard, supposedly you base the length of the time-out upon the age of the child...so a 1 year old would get a 1 minute time-out. Does that even work on a one-year old or are they too young to even try and discipline? And what about the 3 year old? What happens if you put him/her in a corner for three minutes and he/she refuses to stay there? Sometimes I feel like there are options to spanking/hitting/slapping out there but not enough is said as to what you should do if said option isn't working.

My niece was probably THE single most stubborn child on the face of the earth. The pediatrician told my sister to send her to her room if she acted out. The kid refused to stay in her room...she would stand just outside the door but not go in the room. If my sister picked her up and put her in the room, the kid would cross just over the threshold and stand there. So the pediatrician then told my sister to put her in the room and tie the door so that it would only stay open enough so that my niece could see out and not feel like she was closed/locked in the room. But that seemed extreme to me.

Ideally speaking, I think it's great if someone has the know how with successful results for disciplining without resorting to spanking/hitting/slapping on the butt.

 

[mlp]

I love you.

Love you too, shnukikins.

Quoting just to lure you back

Aaargh - it worked!

I haven't been posting some kind of pompous Official Moderator Rules That Must Be Followed On Pain Of Death. I'm just all to see good posters jumping on each other's backs (outside of the Sexuality forum anyway). And it was an interesting debate until the debate was forgotten whilst everybody made digs at everybody else.

Oh, I know. I was just trying to make a point in kind of a tongue in cheek way.

Mlp, I am on my phone and i may or may not have reported your post about double rainbows, lol

****. I always get into trouble when I start talking about rainbows.

 

[Lord Snot]

I, for one, would like to see this addressed. I am curious about time-out being used as a punishment. From what I've heard, supposedly you base the length of the time-out upon the age of the child...so a 1 year old would get a 1 minute time-out. Does that even work on a one-year old or are they too young to even try and discipline? And what about the 3 year old? What happens if you put him/her in a corner for three minutes and he/she refuses to stay there? Sometimes I feel like there are options to spanking/hitting/slapping out there but not enough is said as to what you should do if said option isn't working.

I don't think a one year old can comprehend any kind of discipline properly. Certainly not the ones I've met. Out little nephew is 3 and he would struggle with a 3 minute time out, he can't sit still for 3 seconds whether he's behaving or not. He kind of understands "if you carry on doing that, we won't be going to the park" but usually it's lost on him. I think future is not a concept he really gets, he just knows what he wants at that moment and thinking "I have to do X now to get X later" is a bit beyond him. It worked last time, but only because we were en route to the park at the time.

I know the technique you mentioned from Supernanny, although I'm not sure if she invented it. I think it's telling that none of the families she works with can carry on controlling the kids once she leaves. It's the presence of a stern stranger that gets the kids in line while she's there, her techniques are not necessarily good.

****. I always get into trouble when I start talking about rainbows.

Crimes involving rainbows incur an automatic 4 year ban, I'm afraid.

 

[kibbleforlola]

Wut. I don't even...

 

[mlp]

I, for one, would like to see this addressed. I am curious about time-out being used as a punishment. From what I've heard, supposedly you base the length of the time-out upon the age of the child...so a 1 year old would get a 1 minute time-out. Does that even work on a one-year old or are they too young to even try and discipline? And what about the 3 year old? What happens if you put him/her in a corner for three minutes and he/she refuses to stay there? Sometimes I feel like there are options to spanking/hitting/slapping out there but not enough is said as to what you should do if said option isn't working.

My niece was probably THE single most stubborn child on the face of the earth. The pediatrician told my sister to send her to her room if she acted out. The kid refused to stay in her room...she would stand just outside the door but not go in the room. If my sister picked her up and put her in the room, the kid would cross just over the threshold and stand there. So the pediatrician then told my sister to put her in the room and tie the door so that it would only stay open enough so that my niece could see out and not feel like she was closed/locked in the room. But that seemed extreme to me.

Ideally speaking, I think it's great if someone has the know how with successful results for disciplining without resorting to spanking/hitting/slapping on the butt.

Yeah - no way my nephew would have stayed in a corner. Simply no way.

As I mentioned before, spanking didn't work with him either, with one notable exception*. And the one thing that I found that did work - pretending I couldn't see or hear him, even momentarily, was so disturbing to him that I never did it again.

*The notable exception was the one time my father hit him on the butt. They had been outside, and my nephew came running in, distraught. My mother called outside and asked my father what he had done to him, and he said he had given him one swipe on the butt, after repeatedly telling him to not try to bend the cats' tails and being ignored. Now you have to understand why that one smack on the behind by my father had that effect, while my nephew was impervious to everyone else - my father never got angry, never got irritated, with anyone. He tried sweet reason with my nephew endlessly, and when that didn't work, he just gave in and did whatever my nephew wanted - my father always followed the path of least resistance; it was the nature of the man. So this smack on the behind was so unexpected that it worked.

I had much of the same stubborness as my nephew, and I was as little affected by spankings as he was. In my case, though, I generally toed the line because my mother would, among other things, threaten to drop me off at the children's home if I didn't do as I was told. And while I figured out at a relatively young age that she wasn't likely to leave me there forever, I also knew that she was perfectly capable of humiliating me publicly. Again, as I said previously, words are easily crueler than a smack on the bottom, or even than being hit repeatedly with a wooden stirring spoon.

I don't know what the answer is with respect to kids who won't stand in a corner or take a time out.