How to make my husband understand?

Lou said:
Game changers is a pretty good doc. IMDB score 7.8. For comparison, Cowspiracy is 8.1
It is not about animal rights, animal cruelty or environmentalism. It is Just about health.
Mostly about plant based protein and athletes.
Its broken up into chapters that mostly take on one myth about plant based protein at a time.
Its pretty much got something for every kind of sports fan. Of course my favorite part was the American Football team The Tennessee Titans.
I think it might be something important to you, it features at least a handful of Australian athletes.

One of my favorite parts involved college students, plant based burritos and erections. Not the most scientific study but a nice attention grabber for most of the male audience. Maybe some females, too.


www.peta.org.au

'The Game Changers': Vegan Athletes You Need to Know - PETA Australia

Everywhere you look, vegan athletes are rising to the top of their game.
www.peta.org.au www.peta.org.au
Click to expand...
Think I'm thinking of What the Health. Claims such as eating eggs once a week as bad as smoking a pack of cigs- things like that.
I didn't see it, but people I worked with, and strangers at the plant based sections discussing it.
Being vegan doesn't imply health, but unless you eat a lot of junk and not a well varied diet is still far better than animal products. It isn't the strickly controlled diet so many would want you to believe. It is shift in thinking about food and nutrition. Like comparing kale to dairy milk rather than dairy milk to almond milk
 
Lou said:
Game changers is a pretty good doc. IMDB score 7.8. For comparison, Cowspiracy is 8.1
It is not about animal rights, animal cruelty or environmentalism. It is Just about health.
Mostly about plant based protein and athletes.
Its broken up into chapters that mostly take on one myth about plant based protein at a time.
Its pretty much got something for every kind of sports fan. Of course my favorite part was the American Football team The Tennessee Titans.
I think it might be something important to you, it features at least a handful of Australian athletes.

One of my favorite parts involved college students, plant based burritos and erections. Not the most scientific study but a nice attention grabber for most of the male audience. Maybe some females, too.


www.peta.org.au

'The Game Changers': Vegan Athletes You Need to Know - PETA Australia

Everywhere you look, vegan athletes are rising to the top of their game.
www.peta.org.au www.peta.org.au
Click to expand...
:laughing:
 
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@Rainbow , there is a new documentary coming out.
www.veganforum.org

TV & Film - The Documentary Thread

Here is something cool. It's been so many years since I saw Fahrenheit 9/11. Micheal Moore just sent me this message. I have an announcement for you. I would like to invite you to join me for a free worldwide screening on Friday, September 10th, of my 2004 film, Fahrenheit 9/11. We’ll...
www.veganforum.org www.veganforum.org

also you might want to read thru that Thread and see if there is a better documentary for you and your husband to watch together.
 
Lou said:
@Rainbow , there is a new documentary coming out.
www.veganforum.org

TV & Film - The Documentary Thread

Here is something cool. It's been so many years since I saw Fahrenheit 9/11. Micheal Moore just sent me this message. I have an announcement for you. I would like to invite you to join me for a free worldwide screening on Friday, September 10th, of my 2004 film, Fahrenheit 9/11. We’ll...
www.veganforum.org www.veganforum.org

also you might want to read thru that Thread and see if there is a better documentary for you and your husband to watch together.
Click to expand...
 
My honest opinion is to not bring this up unless it's necessary. You're new to veganism, most likely to need to let it marinate in you until you can feel it's as normal to you as you were before, and not such a passionate, urgent mission.
I've found it far easier to be accessible to others about it after living it myself for more than a few months. I know I've changed.

This was a book I picked up early on that I thought was just perfect. Perfectly Contented Meat-Eater Guide to Vegetarianism
 
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silva said:
My honest opinion is to not bring this up unless it's necessary. You're new to veganism, most likely to need to let it marinate in you until you can feel it's as normal to you as you were before, and not such a passionate, urgent mission.
I've found it far easier to be accessible to others about it after living it myself for more than a few months. I know I've changed.

This was a book I picked up early on that I thought was just perfect. Perfectly Contented Meat-Eater Guide to Vegetarianism
Click to expand...
Thanks Silva!
I feel it is necessary for my mental health and because he's the person closest to me.
He's unlikely to become vegan himself ever and if that's the case, I need him to understand what I'm going through, and why.
That's why I was asking for suggestions to make him understand.
 
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Hi Rainbow,I'm new to the forum but a long time vegan, I went vegan about 14 years ago and was vegetarian for many years before that. However my Husband is far from either, when we met I was vegetarian and was not so 'passionate ' shall we say about animal welfare and still bought and cooked him some meat, now however I will not even buy it for him. He has close friends who think veganism is 'extreem'. He will NEVER go vegan, and it really upsets me. It doesnt matter what I tell him, what I show him, no matter what he reads or sees he does not change his opinion of 'yeah its not nice but its life and it tastes good' I hate to say but I do resent him. I do not understand how a 'good' person can see the absolute horror and witness the terror and suffering of these poor beings and still selfishly put them in their mouth? It is a huge issue with us to be honest. My children are both vegan and it deeply upsets them that Daddy kills animals. At the dinner table they were playing the what would you rather game and asked him 'be vegan for life or have to go and murder the animals yourself' and he said 'I don't think you want to know the answer". 😭
 
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VeganMummy22 said:
Hi Rainbow,I'm new to the forum but a long time vegan, I went vegan about 14 years ago and was vegetarian for many years before that. However my Husband is far from either, when we met I was vegetarian and was not so 'passionate ' shall we say about animal welfare and still bought and cooked him some meat, now however I will not even buy it for him. He has close friends who think veganism is 'extreem'. He will NEVER go vegan, and it really upsets me. It doesnt matter what I tell him, what I show him, no matter what he reads or sees he does not change his opinion of 'yeah its not nice but its life and it tastes good' I hate to say but I do resent him. I do not understand how a 'good' person can see the absolute horror and witness the terror and suffering of these poor beings and still selfishly put them in their mouth? It is a huge issue with us to be honest. My children are both vegan and it deeply upsets them that Daddy kills animals. At the dinner table they were playing the what would you rather game and asked him 'be vegan for life or have to go and murder the animals yourself' and he said 'I don't think you want to know the answer". 😭
Click to expand...
This is really sad to read.

I wonder if I get it right: does your husband let his close friends convince him? If his friends think veganism is 'extreem' then he would just conform to the "norms"?
I have heard this 'too extreem' thing, multiple times, and I just cannot get how not exploiting animals is extreme. Not only abstaining from getting them killed, but also avoiding to get them raped, or to steal from them.... how is that too extreme?

I do think you have every reason on earth to resent him for that. It's not life. It's death and violence. And, who cares how "good" it tastes?
If it was meat itself that tasted so good, then why do people season it with plants?

Please allow me to be a little critical: I don't find his answer very brave. He obviously didn't say so because he would care so much about your feelings, or those of your children. My impression is that he probably found it too uncomfortable and awkward to pronounce "I would sure as hell murder animals to eat them!" Maybe deep inside he has conscience issues. Maybe he understands it's not right, but for some reasons he insists on being such a notorious carnist. Maybe he considers it to be an important part of his self-image?
I hope this wasn't too rude of me! Since I don't know him, everything I am saying here is just assumptions.

I know this wasn't explicitly mentioned in this thread, but by reading the posts, I've gotten the impression that there are many men who are still obsessed with this "real men eat meat" myth. I have never experienced it to be like this: "don't you feel macho enough? Go eat a huge steak, it will give you the necessary boost to feel yourself the Crown (tm) of Creation (c) (r)!"
I personally don't think increasing one's risks of getting the ugliest forms of cancer, high blood pressure and heart attack would make one very masculine.
BTW the medieval Templars weren't allowed to eat meat more often than three times a week. Their leaders did understand "eating meat weakens the soul" and so they made this rule. (I think this was very modern, considering the usual attitude in the Middle Ages...) Were they not real men?
Also, there are many women who eat meat... isn't that confusing?
 
deadknight said:
This is really sad to read.

I wonder if I get it right: does your husband let his close friends convince him? If his friends think veganism is 'extreem' then he would just conform to the "norms"?
I have heard this 'too extreem' thing, multiple times, and I just cannot get how not exploiting animals is extreme. Not only abstaining from getting them killed, but also avoiding to get them raped, or to steal from them.... how is that too extreme?

I do think you have every reason on earth to resent him for that. It's not life. It's death and violence. And, who cares how "good" it tastes?
If it was meat itself that tasted so good, then why do people season it with plants?

Please allow me to be a little critical: I don't find his answer very brave. He obviously didn't say so because he would care so much about your feelings, or those of your children. My impression is that he probably found it too uncomfortable and awkward to pronounce "I would sure as hell murder animals to eat them!" Maybe deep inside he has conscience issues. Maybe he understands it's not right, but for some reasons he insists on being such a notorious carnist. Maybe he considers it to be an important part of his self-image?
I hope this wasn't too rude of me! Since I don't know him, everything I am saying here is just assumptions.

I know this wasn't explicitly mentioned in this thread, but by reading the posts, I've gotten the impression that there are many men who are still obsessed with this "real men eat meat" myth. I have never experienced it to be like this: "don't you feel macho enough? Go eat a huge steak, it will give you the necessary boost to feel yourself the Crown (tm) of Creation (c) (r)!"
I personally don't think increasing one's risks of getting the ugliest forms of cancer, high blood pressure and heart attack would make one very masculine.
BTW the medieval Templars weren't allowed to eat meat more often than three times a week. Their leaders did understand "eating meat weakens the soul" and so they made this rule. (I think this was very modern, considering the usual attitude in the Middle Ages...) Were they not real men?
Also, there are many women who eat meat... isn't that confusing?
Click to expand...
Hi deadknight.
Thankyou for your response and I actually agree so no I so not think you are being rude.
He wrote in a text to his friend as a response to his picture of his 'nice meaty dinner', 'going out for a meal is the only time I get to enjoy a nice piece of meat' and his friend said to him 'you need to buy a nice slab of steak and slap it down in front of Rachael and say cook it for me'
If he did and I could bare to touch meat I would literally slap him round the face with it!
 
VeganMummy22 said:
Hi deadknight.
Thankyou for your response and I actually agree so no I so not think you are being rude.
He wrote in a text to his friend as a response to his picture of his 'nice meaty dinner', 'going out for a meal is the only time I get to enjoy a nice piece of meat' and his friend said to him 'you need to buy a nice slab of steak and slap it down in front of Rachael and say cook it for me'
If he did and I could bare to touch meat I would literally slap him round the face with it!
Click to expand...
That's not too respectful of them.
 
Rainbow said:
Hi everyone, I became vegan a few months ago and the first thing my husband said was 'that's great but don't expect me to change'.
Not the best start - and a great introduction into how defensive people get around the word 'vegan' ;-)

He will eat the vegan food I prepare and has nothing against vegan food in general but he has no intention on giving up meat.
He even says it doesn't bother him (it always bothered me deep down when I used to) and can look at a cow in the eye and cook a burger an hour later.
He does not make the connection at all. I try really hard not think he's a sociopath! haha... ha.
I know he means well and tells the truth, he doesn't feel highs and lows like I do, he's pretty constant.

I would really like to ask him to watch a doco/film about what's really going because deep down, I need to know he 'can' understand - but at the same time I'm scared that at the end he will just go 'meh', I'll still eat meat - confirming that he really is a sociopath ;-)

I have heard of Earthlings of course but I am not emotionally strong enough to watch something like this (a mental image of cruelty inflicted to an animal is enough to make me cry. Even a dog limping makes me cry!) - and it was made almost 20 years ago.

I don't want to ask him to change (although of course it would be a huge emotional relief if he did) but I do want him to really try to understand what I'm feeling and why.
I really don't want to let things get to a point where I can't stand having meat around me but also don't want him to feel rejected.

What would you suggest?

PS: nobody I know is vegan, none of them really understand it and explaining it doesn't work.
I can't even find a vegan counsellor (in person or online), in my town, state or country.
There are many unsupportive people in vegan FB groups who just turn you off from even posting.
Why do they make it so hard??
Click to expand...
Hi. At least he consumed the food you make, that is a plus. Hopefully you will not cook him animals to eat.
Like David Carter, the 300 pound football linebacker turned vegan, he likely believed he will cease being a man if he stops,
and he also enjoys eating it out of constant habit. I would show him "gamechangers" and the videos and blog, below. Take him
to a farm animal sanctuary and let him touch and greet the animals he eats. And, ask him 'what is the leading cause of E.D'.
Have a great day and a great marriage!.
 
Rainbow said:
Hi everyone, I became vegan a few months ago and the first thing my husband said was 'that's great but don't expect me to change'.
Not the best start - and a great introduction into how defensive people get around the word 'vegan' ;-)

He will eat the vegan food I prepare and has nothing against vegan food in general but he has no intention on giving up meat.
He even says it doesn't bother him (it always bothered me deep down when I used to) and can look at a cow in the eye and cook a burger an hour later.
He does not make the connection at all. I try really hard not think he's a sociopath! haha... ha.
I know he means well and tells the truth, he doesn't feel highs and lows like I do, he's pretty constant.

I would really like to ask him to watch a doco/film about what's really going because deep down, I need to know he 'can' understand - but at the same time I'm scared that at the end he will just go 'meh', I'll still eat meat - confirming that he really is a sociopath ;-)

I have heard of Earthlings of course but I am not emotionally strong enough to watch something like this (a mental image of cruelty inflicted to an animal is enough to make me cry. Even a dog limping makes me cry!) - and it was made almost 20 years ago.

I don't want to ask him to change (although of course it would be a huge emotional relief if he did) but I do want him to really try to understand what I'm feeling and why.
I really don't want to let things get to a point where I can't stand having meat around me but also don't want him to feel rejected.

What would you suggest?

PS: nobody I know is vegan, none of them really understand it and explaining it doesn't work.
I can't even find a vegan counsellor (in person or online), in my town, state or country.
There are many unsupportive people in vegan FB groups who just turn you off from even posting.
Why do they make it so hard??
Click to expand...
Would you consider some emotional upset in yourself if you’re potentially helping the animals by exposing him and yourself to some more borderline bearable animal rights content? How about a less gruesome documentary like “Live and Let Live” or even showing him some good Joey Carbstrong or Earthling Ed videos, or those from Bitesize Vegan, that do a good job of dispelling arguments against veganism and explaining the why and how of veganism?
 

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