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They won't let me go vegan

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Queen of Strawberries, thank you SO much, that means a lot to me :blush:. Honestly that's warmed me up inside :heart:. My parents are OK with me being vegan at home now, they have been for a while. They know I'm doing it for ethical reasons. So when I'm at home I eat vegan (right now I'm eating some homemade vegan energy balls. Yum) :yum. This is the recipe if you're interested, they're just a bit different: https://fitfoodiefinds.com/diy-holiday-in-a-jar-cherry-pistachio-energy-balls/

I'm trying to eat a variety of things but I still get worried about eating some things like lots of oil, double carbs in a meal, sugar, etc. But I do eat lots of chocolate! And I bake desserts and stuff. I'm trying but I just hate my body so much at the moment :(.
you're so welcome!
and with the being afraid thing - I get that. You just have to keep reminding myself that (1) if eating that food makes you afraid that's the perfect way to kick your eating disorder to Timbuktu (unless you live there in which case kick it to the moon) and (2) let's just be honest: food made with oil, or sugar tastes dang good and carbs are amazing for energy and taste great! (My eating disorder made me try to go keto and that was the worst three weeks of my life)
#sorryforwhatisaidwheniwasundercarbed
(ps. I don't eat energy balls very often but now you make me want to have some:yummy mom used to make these chickpea and peanut butter ones - but I don't have the recipe.:sob:)
Hope you have a great day!
 

Forest Nymph

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@Llama I love that recipe. I'm getting a food processor, I also want an instant pot, but the food processor makes things like energy balls and cashew cheese so much easier to make. Tart cherries are bomb!
 

Lou

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Rory17

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Hi. I'm brand new to this website and never ever thought I'd be signing up to something like this, but here I am. I'm going to try and shorten this because I have got a lot to say.

So I've been a full vegetarian for about two months (pescatarian for about six months before that) and I have no idea why I didn't do it sooner. I just never really thought about it and I feel bad for that now, but that's the past and it can't be changed. I ultimately went full vegetarian because I no longer wanted to eat animals when I didn't need to, and some of the ways farm animals are treated is terrible (even though I'm in the UK which has the 'best' animal welfare standards in the world). So I felt good about going veggie.

When I had first announced to my mum that I was just going to become pescatarian, she got irritated with me, telling me that I was making things awkward and being picky and making everything harder for her. I was so annoyed but I still did it. Surprisingly, she was slightly less annoyed when I told her I was going full veggie. But she got annoyed again when I said I would only eat eggs that were properly, definitely free range (which I DO know they are), but still, it isn't natural is it? Anyway...

The main reason I came here is because I have anorexia. Not going to deny it. I was in hospital with it for a while (discharged 4 months ago) but I'm on a community treatment order so I have to stay above a certain BMI, continue going to an eating disorders centre for support etc etc. But I'm struggling. I've been on a meal plan for over a year and right now I'm not quite eating everything on it. Everyone keeps telling me the same things over and over, like 'you need to do it, you need to stay out of hospital and keep going to college' both of which I want to do so much, but for some reason it doesn't quite motivate me, it's like there's something missing. I do a wildlife-based course at college, so I've learnt loads of stuff about the environment and also the impacts of farming on global warming, so it's quite clear why I've become so aware of what I'm eating and what's detrimental to animals and the environment.

I feel like the only thing that would motivate me enough and make me feel good about myself would be to go vegan. I always thought that going vegan after/during an ED was stupid (probably because all these people seemed to eat only raw, super healthy, sugar free, low fat, and virtually carb free food) and that it wouldn't help with recovery but now I can see why it does! It's not just about you. It's about the world.

But there's about 0.00001% chance of anyone (i.e. parents, dietician, counsellor etc.) letting me become vegan. Probably because they think there's a huge lack of nutrients and vitamins and that I'm just trying to restrict my calories. I'm not, for once (woah, did I just say that??). My dietician, counsellor, and parents all think that veganism is utter rubbish and very unhealthy. Yes, a qualified dietician who obviously hasn't been taught properly. But I really really think veganism would help me stay out of hospital. I love all the natural foods, all the fruit and veg and nuts and pulses and grains etc. as well as chocolate and cake and biscuits (obviously) and I feel goodish when I eat them (as oppose to milk and yoghurt and eggs and lots of possessed foods), and that's how I think I want to feel, not guilty for eating animal products and other rubbish.

SO, does anyone have any ideas as to how I can try and convince them? Because although I haven't directly asked if I can, I've hinted, but whenever I do that they just seem to pounce on me and tell me veganism is bad. I don't think I've got much chance of convincing them but I have to try!! So any advice?

Llama <-- that's a sheep, but shhh....

P.s. Sorry for the ridiculously long ramble, I don't like taking up people's time . I'll just go eat my vegan lentil Dahl and basmati rice (which I chose!!) and hopefully feel quite good (and then bad again, when I have to have a yoghurt for dessert☹).
Hi ,
Your parents probably have your best interests at heart. Please be nice to them. They are sentient beings, too. They likely care about you and love you greatly.
I support your decision to go vegan. I’m, maybe, 95% vegan. I would give you a hug .
Maybe try doing some more research and asking your doctor for their advice re veganism and anorexia. If they say that it is okay, please kindly tell your parents this. After this, do some more research online about how to be a healthy vegan and how veganism can be very healthy for you and have health benefits. There is a page on the nursing degree website about the health benefits of veganism that may be of help to you. Look up “nursing degree health benefits of veganism” on Goodsearch*. Get the books “Living Vegan for Dummies” and “How to go vegan” by Veganuary off of Amazon Smile**. Read these and do plenty of research through reliable sources, such as looking at reliable websites using Goodsearch (you could even search “anorexic vegan” to find out advice and information about anorexia and veganism), reading vegan books and talking to vegans.
Please then present your parents with the facts in a kind way that you feel will be effective and right for you as well. Try to kindly persuade them to let you go vegan. Present and explain your reasons for wanting to go vegan kindly in a way and time that you feel will be effective and right for you and your parents.
I hope you can go vegan safely and healthily and that you can persuade your parents to let you do so.
Thank you to the moon and back.
Best wishes,
Rory.
Have the best day and night ever!
 

Emma JC

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Carbs and starches overlap and yet they can be very different. Carbs can include unhealthy foods like donuts and cakes and other sugary/oily processed foods while starches(carbs) are good foods like rice, whole grain breads, quinoa, potatoes, sweet potatoes, beans, oats, corn, bananas, beans, lentils, root vegetables - these are great for you and for your brain/cells and unless you eat them to excess and never get any exercise they will not build fat or cause weight gain. They are also delicious and comforting and digest quickly.

Again there is a difference between oils and fats. There are good healthy fats in whole foods like nut butters, nut, seeds, tahini, avocado, coconut and you do need some fat to be healthy. Enjoy some good healthy fats and leave out the added oils and that way you won't stress about the healthy fats.

Sugars fall into the same category. Try to get your sugar from fruits and dates, "sweet" potatoes and try your best to avoid the processed sugars.

This may help to settle your mind, when you know the carb/starches and fats and sugars you are eating are healthy. Have a double helping of sweet potatoes with some avocado and a side of delicious beans then add some spices and enjoy! Oh yes, don't forget some steamed broccoli or other veggie.

All the best on your journey to wellness and know that we are all cheering you on!!

Emma JC
 
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Llama

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Rory17, I think you may have misunderstood, it's not my parents that's the problem now-they are really supportive of it now and pleased at my progress with a vegan diet. It's the staff at the impatient unit who are complete bum'oles (for lack of a better word lol). My parents are being really good about it now :blush:.

Emma JC, thanks for all the advice, and I know it's good to eat healthy but I don't really want to get into a mindset where I avoid all 'unhealthy' foods like the plague and avoid everything processed and sugary. I know it's not great to eat them all the time but it's ok to eat them occasionally (I guess???)

Llama
 

hopeful

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I know it's not great to eat them all the time but it's ok to eat them occasionally (I guess???)

Llama

I completely agree with you - eating "unhealthy" foods is okay sometimes, probably especially if a person is recovering from an eating disorder. That's my opinion, but it seems like it would be helpful for a person's mind not to have strict "good" versus "bad" foods.

It's great that your parents are okay with you being vegan, because they can help you get the food and meals you need to be a healthy vegan in recovery from the eating disorder. I am guessing the hospital will not agree to the veganism ever, because most programs for eating disorder recovery probably don't. But you have the option of getting healthier and eating the way you choose to eat, so long as it doesn't put you in danger (like by restricting your food).

I know eating disorder recovery is very hard, but you can do it. I know you can. I know that's a bit of a side note from veganism, but I wanted to send you some encouragement in that domain too.
 
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Emma JC

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Rory17, I think you may have misunderstood, it's not my parents that's the problem now-they are really supportive of it now and pleased at my progress with a vegan diet. It's the staff at the impatient unit who are complete bum'oles (for lack of a better word lol). My parents are being really good about it now :blush:.

Emma JC, thanks for all the advice, and I know it's good to eat healthy but I don't really want to get into a mindset where I avoid all 'unhealthy' foods like the plague and avoid everything processed and sugary. I know it's not great to eat them all the time but it's ok to eat them occasionally (I guess???)

Llama
Happy New Year Llama

So happy that your parents are on board with your choices and I am sure they will help you, where they can, with the staff.

It is okay to eat 'less'healthy foods and the trick is to eat so much of the healthier foods that you don't have the space or the desire for the less healthy. A wonderful meal of lots of potatoes with great toppings and a side of beans that are nicely spiced and some green veggies with lemon juice and pepper means that you won't crave a processed dessert but maybe some nice berries with dark chocolate. All of us eat less healthy foods occassionally and your mental health takes precedence over your physical health and eventually you will consider the healthier foods the "treat" and not the processed sugary ones.

Cheering in the background for you and your health!

Emma JC
 
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Jamie in Chile

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Hi Llama, I hope you are doing well at the moment and we will still be hear for you if you have any questions or just need support. :)