Various random thoughts & observations....

[silva]

I wonder why I don’t like small talk, but if I don’t like small talk, how do I get into deeper conversations? I just observed recently that small talk and deep conversations are the same thing, small talk is the vital beginnings of deeper conversations.

Yes, it can be, on the other hand, there are so many people at work who seem to love nothing but engaging me in small talk! I only ever see them getting water or coffee so it's not like it'll ever develop into anything else, but I will secretly slip into the bathroom to avoid it if I see them. It's just always the same and not like I can change it. I even find myself lying when they ask how's things

 

[Amy SF]

You know, every time celebrities go on a special diet, for whatever reason, and voluntarily give up certain foods they love, they invariably post about it on social media whining about how they miss their favorite foods because OMG it’s been THREE WHOLE DAYS WITHOUT IT and they’re just DYING.

Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez are on a 10-day no-carb, no-sugar challenge and already seem to be regretting it

And then I think about children starving to death in third world countries because of drought conditions or a civil war that’s been going on for years, 800,000 American federal workers having to go to food pantries because they’re not getting paid, and girls with eating disorders weighing half of what they’re supposed to weigh because they think food, any food, is poison, and I scream internally at these celebrities, “YOU F****** MORONS, DO YOU EVEN HEAR YOURSELVES?”

 

[Abir Hassan]

Hello Everybody,

I would really be grateful if you can please take part in my final year project (dissertation). This research project will examine different factors that may contribute to the understanding of eating habits of the population and the relation it has on their wellbeing. A focus will on healthy eating behaviours and attitudes. If you agree to take part and participate please fill in the Survey below
It should take less than 15 minutes.

My Survey: Dissertation

Thank you,

 

[Second Summer]

'Nostalgia for a time you've never known' - this is a title of a piece of electronic music on YT. It sounds very poetic! I think I've had a bit of nostalgia for the 70s even though I didn't really know the 70s very well despite being born in the latter part of that decade.

 

[KLS52]

Relationships are hard including spouses, significant others, children, parents, friends, etc.

 

[Amy SF]

I just realized that I can’t sing this ditty from my childhood in an assisted living facility:

It’s raining, it’s pouring
The old man is snoring
He bumped his head
And went to bed
And didn’t get up in the morning.



(It’s really coming down outside at the moment)

 

[KLS52]

Nights are hard. I do ok during the day, at work, and when I come home I have Bratt, Joon and Stella to keep me busy. But once I put them to bed and settle down myself, the loss takes over. I got used to Ben sleeping with me most nights. I may try and get Joon or Stella to stay with me but I can’t see how they will ever settle down and allow me to sleep.

 

[KLS52]

Rhododendrons have beautiful flowers but the plant/bush itself is hideous. I don’t like it at all when it isn’t flowering which is most of the time.

 

[Second Summer]

From a "question" to VV that I decided not to approve - thought I would post it here instead

The other day, while I was at work, my sister stole my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a 30 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is completely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

 

[Val]

From a "question" to VV that I decided not to approve - thought I would post it here instead

Whose message was this??

 

[Second Summer]

Whose message was this??

Someone who isn't a member. It seemed a bit like spam as there was a link in there as well.

 

[silva]

Anyone else notice that people are putting "after" pictures before, and "before" pictures after?
I keep seeing this whether it's a personal picture of weight loss or a recipe. Like the slim pic is on the left, the overweight one on the right, or, the cooked finished recipe on the left and the raw ingredients on the right .
What started this?

 

[KLS52]

What would you say to someone who desperately wants to do something but is always concerned it’s going to put another party out. The other party says it’s not a problem at all, but you feel like they are just being nice or obligatory. Does the someone ignore their insecurities/misgivings and do the thing or back out based on the possible misconception that they are doing the other person a favor or letting them off the hook?

Technically, if the someone is giving the other person several options to decline and they don’t, it’s on them if they still say yes when they really don’t want to right? I would think the someone just needs to go just go ahead and do the thing.

 

[PTree15]

What would you say to someone who desperately wants to do something but is always concerned it’s going to put another party out. The other party says it’s not a problem at all, but you feel like they are just being nice or obligatory. Does the someone ignore their insecurities/misgivings and do the thing or back out based on the possible misconception that they are doing the other person a favor or letting them off the hook?

Technically, if the someone is giving the other person several options to decline and they don’t, it’s on them if they still say yes when they really don’t want to right? I would think the someone just needs to go just go ahead and do the thing.

I think you talked that out well. I say do the thing.

 

[KLS52]

Was it that obvious that it’s me?
I think my problem is I’m overly self aware. I often do things to be “nice” or out of obligation so I know how it feels. It makes me overly conscious/sensitive to putting other people in the same position which is kind of silly, because it’s not like I’m going to do something I really hate (unless it’s an emergency or something for the other person). I do know how to say no. So I need to trust that the other person is being honest and doesn’t mind. And if they do they need to suck it up, then, because I give multiple super easy chances to say no thanks lol.

 

[PTree15]

Was it that obvious that it’s me?
I think my problem is I’m overly self aware. I often do things to be “nice” or out of obligation so I know how it feels. It makes me overly conscious/sensitive to putting other people in the same position which is kind of silly, because it’s not like I’m going to do something I really hate (unless it’s an emergency or something for the other person). I do know how to say no. So I need to trust that the other person is being honest and doesn’t mind. And if they do they need to suck it up, then, because I give multiple super easy chances to say no thanks lol.

Understandable on all counts. It's often hard to tell whether people are really being honest sometimes. But if you have given them multiple outs, and they still say yes, then your are right, it's on them.

 

[silva]

Was it that obvious that it’s me?
I think my problem is I’m overly self aware. I often do things to be “nice” or out of obligation so I know how it feels. It makes me overly conscious/sensitive to putting other people in the same position which is kind of silly, because it’s not like I’m going to do something I really hate (unless it’s an emergency or something for the other person). I do know how to say no. So I need to trust that the other person is being honest and doesn’t mind. And if they do they need to suck it up, then, because I give multiple super easy chances to say no thanks lol.

I'm usually the 'other' person. I find it pretty annoying when you know the 'someone' decline to do something because of feeling like you're just being 'nice' and don't want it! I then think maybe they're just using me as an excuse to NOT do it! If someone says go ahead, it's okay, go ahead already! You may just be p'ssing them off by declining to do it!
On the other hand, if you know they're like yourself and just being nice then you have to think that through
DO IT!

 

[silva]

And please speak up already! I have a co worker friend who's terribly sensitive- to the extreme! She has no clue how that comes across to others, often the very opposite of what she's afraind of

 

[KLS52]

I do speak up! That’s just it. I lay it all out there right from the get go. It’s the feeling that the other person is afraid to say no because they don’t want to hurt my feelings. I’d much rather them say no then have them do it thinking that they’re thinking, omg this is torture.

I can 100% handle no and prefer it if that’s how the person feels. Maybe I need to come up with an example...

 

[silva]

I do speak up! That’s just it. I lay it all out there right from the get go. It’s the feeling that the other person is afraid to say no because they don’t want to hurt my feelings. I’d much rather them say no then have them do it thinking that they’re thinking, omg this is torture.

I can 100% handle no and prefer it if that’s how the person feels. Maybe I need to come up with an example...

I can imagine you've said that to the person- feel free to say no? It's on them! if they say they're ok with it- that's a YES