Thank you Ann C for the explanation - I do respect my dads decision which every one his going to make, I just feel he needs to be informed about all his options, his dr been away since last friday and his only back tomorrow. I just feel my dad need to discuss going away and treatment options with his oncologist first before going away, so he knows what to expect. I do get frustrated and angry but I do respect my dads decision.
He sister and brother died of cancer years ago one from leukemia and one from bone marrow cancer and he witnessed what the chemo etc did to them, I think these images haunts him.
There is no easy way to deal with this.
I will def message you for more explanation etc if you dont mind.
Thank you for taking the time to respond here...
So hard to focus on work...
I can tell how much you love your father from the way you write about him, and having lost my mother to cancer I know about tough decisions . Your anguish comes from wanting whats best for him and I hope you did not think I was questioning that.
Now , knowing about his brother and sister it maybe explains his reluctance to begin his Chemo. He is probably so engulfed in his memories of what Chemo is and does that his decision is actually a delaying mechanism.
Maybe, without sharing this with his family he is trying to block out his memories and mentally prepare himself to accept what he must go through. A holiday would remove him from the immediacy of Chemo, let him breathe, remove him from the hospital enviroment which is his constant reminder. Or maybe, as sometimes happens..he is hoping that if he delays it he will suddenly get better or be offered alternative treatment and avoid it altogether. Whatever his reasoning is he is clearly frightened and haunted by the past, he needs to talk to someone professional about this to dispel his fear and talk him through exactly what will happen.
Lots of clients need desperately to experience 'normal' before they start their treatment because they believe that once they begin Chemo they will not be able to again. Some, like your father have negative experiences of Chemo that blocks their minds to the possibility that they will cope with the Chemotherapy and come out the other side.
Often their experience of Chemotherapy is gleaned from the past when Chemo was a new medical treatment shrouded in mystery and negative press. My own auntie was treated with Chemo at a time when patients were isolated in a room with a glass pane that relatives could peer through to talk to them and all staff wore long gowns and masks to administer the treatment. Scary enough itself let alone the side effects!! Also, historically their experience ended in the death of their relative.
Chemo today is different, it is for the living too. Wards are open, relatives can sit with you as you have your treatment, medical teams are up beat and informed and the whole experience has a different feel. Ok..its not a bed of roses and the side effects can be difficult to manage , but often they last for a few days out of each month and allow normality between then and the next treatment.And when it is all difficult and scary there are nurses and medical teams on hand to ring or come in and see. There is a wealth of information about what will happen and why and someone there to talk to all the way through.
Your dad needs to know this...he is frightened.
He has stopped further treatment and just went under hospice care.
but going to ask hubby to give me a vitB injection after work - those really do help and go back to doing my yoga in the mornings.... 
my dad tried to get some answers on friday but then she already left for the weekend. How incompetent! 
not prepared for that. 
