This question keeps bothering me.
I really don't want to sound too negative or hurtful, but former vegans usually make me annoyed - because for me, veganism is more than something I'd temporarily put on.
I would not say "it's a lifelong engagement", because I don't even feel I've been engaged into anything. I just think this is what should be the norm. Not hurting animals. Not keeping them in captivity. Not exploiting them in any way. Not killing them when they aren't profitable any more. Not thinking our 10 minutes of enjoyment worth more than an animal's life of 8 weeks.
Now, I am trying my best to be careful and avoid rudeness, but I admit I can get really impatient when people give up veganism and use the cheapest excuses you could think of. I really don't know what to do.
I think you guys have heard many of these excuses.
Symptoms of deficiency - because taking the efforts to plan a really good vegan diet and doing some research about necessary supplements would be too demanding; claiming "this is just not for me" and using their blood group or Zodiac sign or MBTI personality type or anything in that direction to justify their quitting veganism; or doing the usual mental gymnastic by stating "there are many better ways of showing compassion to animals than not killing them", or "I go back to eating meat, eggs and dairy but I always, always buy from eco-bio shiny-happy rainbow farms where the animals are literally cuddled to death" and so on.
What annoys me most - I wonder if it's appropriate to mention it here? - is when people first announce their going vegan on social media, they tend to be vegan activists for a while, then they post about how they're not vegan anymore and give a detailed explanation on why they are no longer vegans.
This latter always makes me a bit sceptical or suspicious. Why do they feel the need of explaining themselves? Maybe they have some bad conscience about their decision and try to justify it to their followers?
The other thing I don't quite get is how "being a former vegan" might be the part of some people's identity. A cattle breeder calling themselves an "ex-vegan animal scientist" and the like. Sorry what? I don't find identifying myself as an "ex-carnist, ex-speciesist" necessary.
Yes I used to eat meat. Yes I used to be a vegetarian who believed giving up eating corpses was enough.
(Oh yes, I saw the very same when going vegetarian was a temporary trend.
I heard people say "I used to be a vegetarian but now I am back to eating meat because my SO needs meat", or - my ultimate favourite - "I used to be a vegetarian but later, at the cooking school, we had to taste everything".
My standard excuse for quitting vegetarianism is still "I used to be a vegetarian too but I recognized going vegan was the very best thing I could do.")
But I don't think what I used to be would define what I am - as of to-day.
Could somebody please explain to me how being an ex-something gives you an identity?
Sorry if this turned out to be an inconsistent rant. I hope I didn't violate any community rules, but I really need some advice on how not to get angry, what to do when you feel incredibly sad about this tendency, and how to react in a way that's not hurtful?
Thank you for sharing an excellent discussion of your understandings. I agree with what you say. Faunalytics studies show that there are
many reasons "vegans", "fail". Socializing issues were the main one. The conclusion is, when you make a major dietary change, you must do your
homework (as you stated) and understand what the ramifications are, how others will perceive you, how to eat healthfully and for nutrition, B12, and
so on.
I believe that most "ex's" had trouble being different and not part of the normal crowd. They also certainly did not eat healthfully, and
were deficient in nutrition. I have a neighbor who said she 'tried" vegetarianism and it made her sick.
It is interesting that many "ex's" make sure that others knew they were "former" vegans. Sadly, they then announce that the "vegan diet" is a
failure and unhealthy. But what kind of 'vegan' were they?.
However, veganism is much more than a "diet", it is also having compassion and respect for non-human animals lives, and for the environment, and wanting a more loving, kind, compassionate and peaceful world for all humans --by eating a non-violent diet. I typ[ical;ly grew us as an omnivore, yet
honestly ENJOYED my meals of animals and animal products. I loved cheese, and that was the hardest (addictive) thing to let go of. But I am not a calf and have no need for the milk of a 1200 pound female animal rife with estrogens, who suffers in the dairy industry. I made a commitment to be vegan
over 25 years ago, for the animals, for myself, the environment, and the rest of humanity. It is about love and compassion for me. Thank you.