Can vegans be in relationship with non vegan ?

[Max Caulfield]

Yes? I mean it depends on a reason you're a vegan in the first place whether it's an issue in the first place. If you're are a vegan for sake of being healthy, then unless you've requirement for a partner to maximize their health it won't be an issue. If you're environmentalist vegan or animal welfare vegan then it really depends on how strict or selective you're with people you hang out with. From logical perspective it's not like you're contributing to environmental destruction or animal harm by engaging in a relationship with such person as such person wouldn't be vegan in the first place. Meaning unless you're funding such person then it doesn't contribute to either.

I also reject notion that vegans (as collection of individuals) don't want to hurt anyone. Vegans are diverse group of people that pretty much share one commonality, it's abstinence from consumption or use of animal products. Meaning Vegan could be a neo-nazi desiring a genocide of specific group or more of people, misanthrope that hates humans and perhaps likes idea of their extinction, ideological fanatics that desire to inflict violence on those who don't adhere to their ideology and many others types of people that would like idea of harming someone. I suspect most, if not all absolute pacifists at some point struggle at some point with desire to reach for violence, even if in self-defense or defense of others.

You know or you could just attempt to convince person just like any other person by making an arguments either for animal well-fare, environmental or health benefits. Assuming you know such person decently you would also have advantage of knowing their views, values and principles that would help you construct argument that would help live them accordingly to their values by going vegan. Of course, if there is no contradiction between lifestyle and moral and value system, you lack sufficient evidence or knowledge to showcase contradiction or you encounter persistent cognitive dissonance in person then there is little you can do in that regard.

 

[alexw32]

I already got engaged before taking a good look into it... But she is mostly Vegan the only thing why she drinks milk is because her mother is Indian and they believe cow's are sacred animals and they raise them on this big beautiful farms where they don't hurt them or eat them... So I guess that's fine

True, although I choose soy milk over cow milk for its tastiness and ease of storage (sealed soy milk doesn't need to be refrigerated like cow milk does), if someone manages to find a source that treats cows with care instead of torturing them the way milk factories do then I suppose it's fine to drink the milk... though it raises the question, how will the farm handle the cow's offspring if the number keep growing and growing?

 

[Emma JC]

@alexw32 I am not sure why it is okay to drink cow's milk no matter how they are treated

cow milk is needed for a baby cow to grow strong and quickly just as dog milk is for puppies, cat milk is for kittens, human milk is for human babies... why would humans, especially adults, drink cow's milk? it is full of hormones for calves and in order to give it to human's it means that calf has to be destroyed or at minimum taken away from its mom.... cows are deliberately inseminated which is a form of rape and abuse

there is no nutritional reason for humans to drink cow's milk and many reasons not to

Emma JC

 

[twincle]

Back to the op question of. "Can vegans be in relationship with non vegan ?" Its a difficult one for me. I have been with my wife for about 15 years, married for 8. I have been vegetarian for a couple of years and just still transitioning to vegan (I get caught out buy the tiniest of things like items not expecting to have animal product in but do). My wife, although not objecting, I can tell she is not overly impressed. However, I don't try to 'convert' her nor is every other conversation about vegan diets. I cannot divorce her because, your honour, she continues to eat meat, nor can I insist she stops. So, we get on as we always have, it is my choice to change and am not expecting her to change in any way, so yes, in my case a vegan can be in a relationship with a non vegan .

(although secretly it would be awesome if she did stop eating meat)

 

[Emma JC]

Cook her some amazing vegan meals!! you'll be surprised how happy anyone is to eat something tasty that they don't have to cook.

Emma JC

 

[twincle]

I've already hooked her with Lentil, sweet potato and chick pea curry x

Cook her some amazing vegan meals!! you'll be surprised how happy anyone is to eat something tasty that they don't have to cook.

Emma JC

 

[alexw32]

@alexw32 I am not sure why it is okay to drink cow's milk no matter how they are treated

cow milk is needed for a baby cow to grow strong and quickly just as dog milk is for puppies, cat milk is for kittens, human milk is for human babies... why would humans, especially adults, drink cow's milk? it is full of hormones for calves and in order to give it to human's it means that calf has to be destroyed or at minimum taken away from its mom.... cows are deliberately inseminated which is a form of rape and abuse

there is no nutritional reason for humans to drink cow's milk and many reasons not to

Emma JC

Yes I completely agree with you, it's quite ridiculous for a grown adult to be drinking milk from a mammal when the person is long past their infancy. It's hard to convince people to give up milk and eggs since they can argue that it's not directly linked to "killing", when in fact it can be much worse.

Ignoring the fact that it's virtually impossible to source a place that actually treats the animals kindly from birth to death, like you said, the nutritional benefit that cow milk is believed to provide does not exist at all in reality, instead these are nothing but propaganda spread by those companies tackling people's weakness (Vitamin D & calcium helps you grow tall, yougurt is good for the gut etc.).

I read a scholar article discussing the issue in depth, basically it said that nearly all adults lose their ability to to absorb nutrients from mammel milk once they mature. In fact many people experience symptoms caused by drinking too much milk, astoundingly some of the symptoms involve weak bones, which is what milk promised to strengthen!

Moreover, the hormones in cow milk likely has effects on human development in the form of causing abnormal growth (the average height of humans has risen dramatically in the past century).

I don't know if it's my own subjective feeling, or is it that vegan/vegetarian people look much more charming and lively than people who have meat in their diet. I feel that our body appearances reflects our inner heart, therefore having a kind heart for animals is not only good for the animal, it should at the same time benefit both our body and mind too.

 

[Mostly Random Dude]

I also reject notion that vegans (as collection of individuals) don't want to hurt anyone.

This guy sure whants to hurt someone and he's vegan (fact, btw - been since the age of 18).

 

[Gaz]

It is a challenge but I think it can be done with patience and mutual understanding. Both partners have to work at it however.

 

[buttonmushroom]

What is the point of being in a relationship if you don't respect your partner? I get that relationships can be about different things - sexual attraction, enjoyment of each other's company, sometimes merely finding someone who finally tolerates you - but for a vegan to date a non vegan is like a feminist dating an anti-feminist, or a bisexual person to date a homophobe. Sorry but it just doesn't work. I've tried it, and you just lose respect for the person and begin to hate them.

 

[Danielle]

I disagree, as long as you have a partner that respects you, it can work out. You have to accept that they may never change, but if they’re willing to try new things they could eat more vegan.

 

[Tyrant]

In my opinion it's a very interesting question with a complex answer.

Depens of what kind of perks (apart of his/her diet) you're looking after: want a handsome/beautiful person? fit? interesting? genuine? loyal? self-confident? funny? smart? with values? Every person has it's own atractions: like we say, "Love is Blind".
And then about the differences of lifestyle: most people want their partners to do the transition to vegan/vegetarian for them because is a true love fact, is important, for compatibility, etc. I think that can be a little difficult: why don't you change a bit to prove the same to your partner? relationships are in both directions, not only one. And yeah, you can say "veggie style" is better: not for that you can impose it to others. Wait for someone to change for you without the will to do the same is not a good deal.
In my opinion depens of every single person: How much you are willing to relinquish to accept your partner for who is, and not who can be in the future. Some people will try to coexist with it: for some people will be a solid no no.

Of course there's no intention to provoke/offend anyone: is just a reflection.

 

[David3]

In my opinion it's a very interesting question with a complex answer.

Depens of what kind of perks (apart of his/her diet) you're looking after: want a handsome/beautiful person? fit? interesting? genuine? loyal? self-confident? funny? smart? with values? Every person has it's own atractions: like we say, "Love is Blind".
And then about the differences of lifestyle: most people want their partners to do the transition to vegan/vegetarian for them because is a true love fact, is important, for compatibility, etc. I think that can be a little difficult: why don't you change a bit to prove the same to your partner? relationships are in both directions, not only one. And yeah, you can say "veggie style" is better: not for that you can impose it to others. Wait for someone to change for you without the will to do the same is not a good deal.
In my opinion depens of every single person: How much you are willing to relinquish to accept your partner for who is, and not who can be in the future. Some people will try to coexist with it: for some people will be a solid no no.

Of course there's no intention to provoke/offend anyone: is just a reflection.

The big question: How will the children be raised?
.

 

[Danielle]

The big question: How will the children be raised?
.

that’s the real question, if a vegan and non vegan date how will they raise their kids? if they even decide to have kids to begin with.
I think you can inform them but ultimately it’s still their choice. I’m imagining rebellious teenagers eating meat to spite their parents lol. If you offer them vegan food they will likely enjoy it. Most kids don’t even have that choice, they eat meat because their parents do and it’s either eat what you’re offered or go hungry.

 

[silva]

What is the point of being in a relationship if you don't respect your partner? I get that relationships can be about different things - sexual attraction, enjoyment of each other's company, sometimes merely finding someone who finally tolerates you - but for a vegan to date a non vegan is like a feminist dating an anti-feminist, or a bisexual person to date a homophobe. Sorry but it just doesn't work. I've tried it, and you just lose respect for the person and begin to hate them.

I have to agree with this, and I find it odd for so many to disagree.
As stated, there are many attractions, but when I think "relationship", that's when you overall tolerate the other. Personally, I could never be involved with someone of opposing political or religious views. Certainly never a racist, homophobe, mysogenist--and while I guess it can be overlooked if they only eat animal products out of my sight, if they're omnivorous it's a given they don't have the same ethics.
Even a smoker who is considerate enough to smoke outside my area and do their best to elimate smell, that's a very strong addiction, so they probably would feel guilty about not quitting, and not a personal choice-I wouldn't tolerate long. To be a meat eater, I couldn't start a relationship with that.
Of course an already established relationship I can understand, history has been built
Just my thoughts

 

[Sonya_kun]

Of course a vegan and non-vegan can be in a relationship! My boyfriend isn't vegan. I have not tried to convert him or convince him to go vegan, because I don't believe it's fair to single him out and put that pressure on him. I have an ambition to participate in vegan activism in the future, whether it be small scale or large scale, but it'll be for the public. I don't believe its fair for me to single out a specific person in my life to try and convert, I believe in more large scale and public forms of activism, which are also probably way more effective. My boyfriend and I have argued about it a few times, but we are both respectful of each other and civil, and do not get nasty or rude. We simply share our opinions, and then try to share information to back it up. I will not ever tell him to go vegan or try to convert him, I'll simply continue educating when the topic comes up, cook yummy vegan meals and be an example of how easy and healthy a plant-based lifestyle is, and if he someday decides to try it out for himself, I would be delighted. But no, I am not going to try and convert him, and he has never tried to convert me back me either. If I ever try to convert people, it would be a more public and large scale form of activism, so nobody feels targeted, because the last thing I want is to make the people I care about feel unsafe around me. I want the people I care about to be comfortable with me and my vegan lifestyle, not to feel like they are constantly being challenged or needing to explain their beliefs the minute we eat something.

So yes, a vegan and non-vegan can absolutely be in a relationship together. Vegans come in all forms. I choose to not let my veganism be something that limits me from bonding with amazing people. If you both respect each other and have some bit of open-mindedness, then you have what it takes to thrive in a relationship with a non-vegan/vegan. I wasn't born vegan, most vegans weren't born vegan. We are such a minority that it would be a shame to not be open-minded, when the whole reason we pursued this lifestyle was because of our open-mindedness to see a different point of view than the status quo.

 

[David3]

Of course a vegan and non-vegan can be in a relationship! My boyfriend isn't vegan. I have not tried to convert him or convince him to go vegan, because I don't believe it's fair to single him out and put that pressure on him. I have an ambition to participate in vegan activism in the future, whether it be small scale or large scale, but it'll be for the public. I don't believe its fair for me to single out a specific person in my life to try and convert, I believe in more large scale and public forms of activism, which are also probably way more effective. My boyfriend and I have argued about it a few times, but we are both respectful of each other and civil, and do not get nasty or rude. We simply share our opinions, and then try to share information to back it up. I will not ever tell him to go vegan or try to convert him, I'll simply continue educating when the topic comes up, cook yummy vegan meals and be an example of how easy and healthy a plant-based lifestyle is, and if he someday decides to try it out for himself, I would be delighted. But no, I am not going to try and convert him, and he has never tried to convert me back me either. If I ever try to convert people, it would be a more public and large scale form of activism, so nobody feels targeted, because the last thing I want is to make the people I care about feel unsafe around me. I want the people I care about to be comfortable with me and my vegan lifestyle, not to feel like they are constantly being challenged or needing to explain their beliefs the minute we eat something.

So yes, a vegan and non-vegan can absolutely be in a relationship together. Vegans come in all forms. I choose to not let my veganism be something that limits me from bonding with amazing people. If you both respect each other and have some bit of open-mindedness, then you have what it takes to thrive in a relationship with a non-vegan/vegan. I wasn't born vegan, most vegans weren't born vegan. We are such a minority that it would be a shame to not be open-minded, when the whole reason we pursued this lifestyle was because of our open-mindedness to see a different point of view than the status quo.

This is very good to hear. However, if the two of you plan to have children, it would be a good idea to discuss whether those children will be raised vegan or not.
.

 

[Tyrant]

In my opinion children should be raised as omnivores: will be their decission to do the transition to vegetarian/vegan, and not ours.

 

[David3]

In my opinion children should be raised as omnivores: will be their decission to do the transition to vegetarian/vegan, and not ours.

You mean cook separate meat meals for the kids? Doesn't seem practical.
.

 

[Danielle]

I would imagine they’d just eat what their parents eat, but you couldn’t force them to stay vegan if they didn’t want to.
If a meat eater can raise their kids based on their values, a vegan should be able to do the same.
If I had the choice to eat vegan as a kid, I think I would have chose to eat vegan or at least eat very little meat. As a kid, I didn’t like that animals died for food but didn’t know what I’d eat instead. I ate whatever my parents provided.