Do you believe in spanking as a form of discipline?

[Muggle]

I don't think anybody here would ever try and justify what your father did to you as anything other than abuse.

But according to him and his family (and several members of the local community, namely the vicar) all he did was spank me to "discipline" me. According to him it was "spanking" and he was a parent and who on earth in their right minds dares to argue with a parent about how they discipline their child?

 

[Moll Flanders]

Disciplining another's child is almost a taboo (unless it is a very close relative and you have express permission from the parents). In the very few instances when a child's friend was acting poorly in my house, I just sent them home. It's amazing the power an adult has by just saying the words "it's time for you to go home".

So you are saying that adults can discipline kids effectively without resorting to hitting them? I used to work at a company where they ran parenting classes and I guarantee that physical punishment was not advised.

 

[Forster]

But according to him and his family (and several members of the local community, namely the vicar) all he did was spank me to "discipline" me. According to him it was "spanking" and he was a parent and who on earth in their right minds dares to argue with a parent about how they discipline their child?

He lied and they looked the other way, it was wrong, doesn't justify what he did or make it "okay".

 

[uno]

So you are saying that adults can discipline kids effectively without resorting to hitting them? I used to work at a company where they ran parenting classes and I guarantee that physical punishment was not advised.

What i've found from classes like that (love and logic) is that they are subjective and presuming. I took a family development curriculum and i didn't care for it as it gave no room for other opinion or thought. again, idealism at it's strongest.

 

[Moll Flanders]

What i've found from classes like that (love and logic) is that they are subjective and presuming. I took a family development curriculum and i didn't care for it as it gave no room for other opinion or thought. again, idealism at it's strongest.

Well the classes were for teenage mothers and I'm sure if one of the girls admitted to hitting their baby because they didn't have the right skills then they wouldn't have been ostracised but the aim was to teach them a better way of parenting.

 

[Forster]

So you are saying that adults can discipline kids effectively without resorting to hitting them? I used to work at a company where they ran parenting classes and I guarantee that physical punishment was not advised.

No... what I'm saying is it's a parents role to discipline their kids, don't read so much into my comment.

Working for a company who ran parenting classes does not make one an "expert" on parenting any more so than one who has successfully parented kids to young adulthood. Nobody has all the right answers nor can come up with the exact best form of discipline given a particular situation especially given all the different personality dynamics that come into play. Each child has an unique personality, one can only write a "parenting rulebook" in general terms.

It's not surprising in the least that the company you worked for did not advise any form of physical punishment. Given the legal environment and the fact that people take things out of context continually there is no way they'd want to go on record as even admitting that some forms of physical punishment could be appropriate in some situations. Though it also wouldn't surprise me in the least if they were in fact in the camp that firmly believes that all physical punishment is wrong.

 

[uno]

No... what I'm saying is it's a parents role to discipline their kids, don't read so much into my comment.

Working for a company who ran parenting classes does not make one an "expert" on parenting any more so than one who has successfully parented kids to young adulthood. Nobody has all the right answers nor can come up with the exact best form of discipline given a particular situation especially given all the different personality dynamics that come into play. Each child has an unique personality, one can only write a "parenting rulebook" in general terms.

It's not surprising in the least that the company you worked for did not advise any form of physical punishment. Given the legal environment and the fact that people take things out of context continually there is no way they'd want to go on record as even admitting that some forms of physical punishment could be appropriate in some situations. Though it also wouldn't surprise me in the least if they were in fact in the camp that firmly believes that all physical punishment is wrong.

agreed. i work in a family center, and some of my coworkers teach love and logic, and that does not condone any form of physical punishment. at all. Yet, at least two of those coworkers have spanked their kids .

It is CURRENTLY a no no to spank in the liberal camps and most people don't like to readily admit that anyways. Yet, most parents i know have spanked and are willing to admit it. The legality issues related to that are murky and tend to worry people.

 

[Moll Flanders]

Working for a company who ran parenting classes does not make one an "expert" on parenting any more so than one who has successfully parented kids to young adulthood. Nobody has all the right answers nor can come up with the exact best form of discipline given a particular situation especially given all the different personality dynamics that come into play. Each child has an unique personality, one can only write a "parenting rulebook" in general terms.
It's not surprising in the least that the company you worked for did not advise any form of physical punishment. Given the legal environment and the fact that people take things out of context continually there is no way they'd want to go on record as even admitting that some forms of physical punishment could be appropriate in some situations. Though it also wouldn't surprise me in the least if they were in fact in the camp that firmly believes that all physical punishment is wrong.

I don't claim to be an "expert" but I know that I disagree with an adult physically attacking babies, toddlers, kids and young adults when they can't defend themselves. I'm weird like that.

It makes me laugh that some parents are always so sure that their children are the ones that took the "spanking" and turned out well adjusted.

 

[uno]

I don't claim to be an "expert" but I know that I disagree with an adult physically attacking babies, toddlers, kids and young adults when they can't defend themselves. I'm weird like that.

It makes me laugh that some parents are always so sure that their children are the ones that took the "spanking" and turned out well adjusted.

physically attacking? wow.

i can say that many kids i've seen that aren't spanked are definitely less respectful toward their parents, possibly because their parents are too lenient on them and give their kids too many liberties. and that starts to reflect in their behaviors growing up. if a parent can use good accountability and discipline without spanking (or physically attacking as you like to be melodramatic over), more power to them. that's great. I can say that many parents i've seen that won't use any form of spanking or anything are poor at accountability and their kids run rampant.

 

[Forster]

I don't claim to be an "expert" but I know that I disagree with an adult physically attacking babies, toddlers, kids and young adults when they can't defend themselves. I'm weird like that.

It makes me laugh that some parents are always so sure that their children are the ones that took the "spanking" and turned out well adjusted.

Well maybe I should have said working for a company who ran parenting class doesn't make one's "opinion" on parenting any more valid than...

and I will agree parents are often (not always) clueless about how their young ones turned out including those that didn't spank.

 

[Moll Flanders]

physically attacking? wow.

So what would you call it if a man ran up to your wife in the street and slapped her? It's physical assault and it doesn't make any difference if the human assaulted was a little kid who couldn't speak up.

 

[uno]

So what would you call it if a man ran up to your wife in the street and slapped her? It's physical assault and it doesn't make any difference if the human assaulted was a little kid who couldn't speak up.

sorry. i wouldn't call swatting my son on the butt as physically attacking.

these melodramatic phrases are what ruins these discussions. i guess, oddly, i'm not interested in being called a. abuser b. piece of **** c. someone who physically attacks their children.

and we wonder why these sites fall apart.

 

[Muggle]

So what would you call it if a man ran up to your wife in the street and slapped her? It's physical assault and it doesn't make any difference if the human assaulted was a little kid who couldn't speak up.

I wish I could like this a million times but I can't.

I am thankful that it's slowly becoming illegal here. I think at the moment it's legal to assault your children as long as it's with a flat palm and doesn't leave any marks? Reminds me of when it was legal for a man to beat his wife as long as it was "moderate".
Hopefully we'll soon join the countries that have banned one of the last legal forms of abuse.

 

[Lord Snot]

Keep on topic.

If you're getting wound up, report any posts that you think break the rules and leave the discussion. If you don't want to report, just leave the discussion. Retaliation and pages of tit-for-tat arguing are what ruin discussions.

Please don't make this the first thread we have to start deleting posts on.

 

[Envy]

So what would you call it if a man ran up to your wife in the street and slapped her? It's physical assault and it doesn't make any difference if the human assaulted was a little kid who couldn't speak up.

With the slight difference that it's a total stranger in your case.

With no motivation.

 

[Muggle]

With the slight difference that it's a total stranger in your case.

With no motivation.

OK then.

A wife has done something which her husband didn't want her to do. Is is acceptable for him to spank her across the bum to teach her not to do it again?

 

[kibbleforlola]

OK then.

A wife has done something which her husband didn't want her to do. Is is acceptable for him to spank her across the bum to teach her not to do it again?

It depends. Is it consensual, and what are they both wearing?

 

[Muggle]

It depends. Is it consensual, and what are they both wearing?

I wouldn't have expect that answer to come from you.

 

[MrsSchu2u]

No

 

[Envy]

OK then.

A wife has done something which her husband didn't want her to do. Is is acceptable for him to spank her across the bum to teach her not to do it again?

No, I'm not for child spanking.