Do you believe in spanking as a form of discipline?

[peacefulveglady]

Here is another situation, I read this in a book I was reading a Christian living book about the family. This person went on to state that he knew of a couple having a 5 year old little girl, she wanted to go play out in the storm one time. So she ran out and nothing happened but lighting the couple had a problem with her going out still and she wouldn't listen. they didn't spank her, she went out one more time after saying don't go, while upon the the third trip out she got struck by lightling and almost died. So when your child isn't listening to you with verbel discipline and time outs then the next approach is a spanking. The Spanking means you will get this again if your not listening to us. It teaches the child not to do nothing again. What I got out of the spankings from my parents is that I don't do nothing again and I have to watch what I do and say around my parents . So in other words spanking should be the last resort if the child don't listens or obeys the rules of the house.

 

[kibbleforlola]

so, here's the summation. and i'm glad you don't think i'm a 'bad' person over all. whew.

Hitting a child is abuse. I've hit mine, so according to you i'm an abuser. end of story.

I have a different opinion than you do! Shock! Get over it, darling.

 

[uno]

I have a different opinion than you do! Shock! Get over it, darling.

i am over it. i just get tired of idealistic bs.

 

[Muggle]

People who lump all forms of "physical discipline" under the heading of "abuse" have IMO a very narrow worldview which leads to stereotyping. There are degrees in everything. Not every "degree" falls under the category of abuse, not that I can probably convince you.

You hit somebody then it's abuse. (Unless it's self defense but I highly doubt any adult could try to claim self defense from a 4 year old )

It's not "physical discipline".. That's a nice fancy term child abusers have come up with cover up their own shortcomings as a parent.

I don't have a very narrow worldview, thank you very much. I know what it is like to be a child in that situation (being abused that is) and I cannot bear the thought that other children are going through it and that their parents are happy to talk about abusing them on an internet forum. That is despicable.

 

[Forster]

Edit: In response to PVL

IDK, the story sounds connived. If you don't listen to your parents god is going strike you with lightening!?!?

Seriously at 5, put the chain or deadbolt on the door, if that doesn't work, take away "privileges" or some combination there of.

 

[mlp]

People who lump all forms of "physical discipline" under the heading of "abuse" have IMO a very narrow worldview which leads to stereotyping. There are degrees in everything. Not every "degree" falls under the category of abuse, not that I can probably convince you.

Agreed.

To call a swat on the behind "abuse" is to devalue what real abuse is. You may disagree with it, you may think it's bad parenting, but it's not abuse.

 

[Forster]

You hit somebody then it's abuse. (Unless it's self defense but I highly doubt any adult could try to claim self defense from a 4 year old )

It's not "physical discipline".. That's a nice fancy term child abusers have come up with cover up their own shortcomings as a parent.

I don't have a very narrow worldview, thank you very much. I know what it is like to be a child in that situation (being abused that is) and I cannot bear the thought that other children are going through it and that their parents are happy to talk about abusing them on an internet forum. That is despicable.

And your worldview was formed by your personal experiences... I understand that, I do, but your personal experiences are not the sum total of what other children experience.

 

[Muggle]

And your worldview was formed by your personal experiences... I understand that, I do, but your personal experiences are not the sum total of what other children experience.

I don't care. My father was allowed to get away with what he did to us (and I'm not just talking about hitting us, he did other things) under the allusion of "discipline".
Am I just supposed to accept that other people who hit their children as "discipline" aren't also abusing their children? How are we supposed to know if when they say all they do is a light gentle tap on the bum isn't really a full out beating the crap out of them? I will stand up for children being abused by parents who claim it's "discipline" and I will call out child abusers on their actions because nobody stood up for me or my siblings because physically abusing your children is somehow acceptable when it is "discipline".
Although I'm not sure where dragging my by my hair, beating me black and blue, shoving me in a bath of scalding water, hitting the rest of my family out of the way when they tried to rescue me and then chasing me down the hall screaming "you ******* little ***** come here!" and then dragging me out from under my bed by my ankle is "discipline" although according to my father all he did was smack me on the bum because I refused to go have a bath when I was 5 because I wanted to play with my toys some more. (This is just one example. It's the one I have a reoccurring nightmare about) I do not trust people who say that all they do is give a light smack or whatever. And I don't understand the mentality of people who will just accept that without probing further because it's highly likely that there is serious abuse going on there and people are just using the term "physical discipline" to cover up their own sadistic actions.

EDIT:
And I don't care how nice people seen. I will stand up for their abused children. Nobody did it for us because my father was an "upstanding member of the community" as according to the local vicar so nobody cared because they refused to believe that he was capable of such things.

 

[Moll Flanders]

I have worked with kids and special needs kids and I would have been fired if I had slapped any of the children or even "spanked" them on their bums and rightfully so. Most of the people I have known who work with kids are very anti-smacking and this includes child psychologists who have seen the damage physical assault can do to a child later on in life.

I don't even see people that have the same view as me as idealists, I don't see why a parent or babysitter would want to cause harm to a child in their care. Kids can be total brats at times but hitting them is an awful way of getting their attention IMO.

 

[uno]

I have worked with kids and special needs kids and I would have been fired if I had slapped any of the children or even "spanked" them on their bums and rightfully so. Most of the people I have known who work with kids are very anti-smacking and this includes child psychologists who have seen the damage physical assault can do to a child later on in life.

I don't even see people that have the same view as me as idealists, I don't see why a parent or babysitter would want to cause harm to a child in their care. Kids can be total brats at times but hitting them is an awful way of getting their attention IMO.

it's idealistic to be so black and white about such things. we don't live in a black and white world.

 

[Moll Flanders]

it's idealistic to be so black and white about such things. we don't live in a black and white world.

So if I visited your house and your kid was acting up and I slapped him/her you would be fine with it? Or is it just okay for parents to slap their kids? It seems so strange to me that vegetarians and vegans would be okay with smacking kids when they have a lot of compassion for non-human animals.

 

[uno]

So if I visited your house and your kid was acting up and I slapped him/her you would be fine with it? Or is it just okay for parents to slap their kids? It seems so strange to me that vegetarians and vegans would be okay with smacking kids when they have a lot of compassion for non-human animals.

read further back on this for my answer.

strange or not, it is what it is.

 

[kibbleforlola]

it's idealistic to be so black and white about such things. we don't live in a black and white world.

One could use the same argument towards veg*nism. Just saying.

 

[uno]

One could use the same argument towards veg*nism. Just saying.

very different things. totally.

 

[Moll Flanders]

read further back on this for my answer.
strange or not, it is what it is.

I couldn't be bothered to read back every post but are you saying that it's different because I don't have kids? Lol, well I'm not going to push out a kid to win an online argument. I can see myself losing control and smacking a child/ my child if I lost my temper with them but I wouldn't say it was a great way of parenting IMO. (I don't consider every parent who smacks to be a child abuser either but I know people that have suffered horrific physical abuse as kids and a lot of them end up with anger problems. I think you just have to read some of the posts on this thread to see that "spanking" can have a lasting impact on kids.)

 

[uno]

I couldn't be bothered to read back every post but are you saying that it's different because I don't have kids? Lol, well I'm not going to push out a kid to win an online argument. I can see myself losing control and smacking a child/ my child if I lost my temper with them but I wouldn't say it was a great way of parenting IMO. (I don't consider every parent who smacks to be a child abuser either but I know people that have suffered horrific physical abuse as kids and a lot of them end up with anger problems. I think you just have to read some of the posts on this thread to see that "spanking" can have a lasting impact on kids.)

good. i like what you have to say.

 

[Forster]

I don't care. My father was allowed to get away with what he did to us (and I'm not just talking about hitting us, he did other things) under the allusion of "discipline".
Am I just supposed to accept that other people who hit their children as "discipline" aren't also abusing their children? How are we supposed to know if when they say all they do is a light gentle tap on the bum isn't really a full out beating the crap out of them? I will stand up for children being abused by parents who claim it's "discipline" and I will call out child abusers on their actions because nobody stood up for me or my siblings because physically abusing your children is somehow acceptable when it is "discipline".
Although I'm not sure where dragging my by my hair, beating me black and blue, shoving me in a bath of scalding water, hitting the rest of my family out of the way when they tried to rescue me and then chasing me down the hall screaming "you ****ing little ***** come here!" and then dragging me out from under my bed by my ankle is "discipline" although according to my father all he did was smack me on the bum because I refused to go have a bath when I was 5 because I wanted to play with my toys some more. (This is just one example. It's the one I have a reoccurring nightmare about) I do not trust people who say that all they do is give a light smack or whatever. And I don't understand the mentality of people who will just accept that without probing further because it's highly likely that there is serious abuse going on there and people are just using the term "physical discipline" to cover up their own sadistic actions.

EDIT:
And I don't care how nice people seen. I will stand up for their abused children. Nobody did it for us because my father was an "upstanding member of the community" as according to the local vicar so nobody cared because they refused to believe that he was capable of such things.

I don't think anybody here would ever try and justify what your father did to you as anything other than abuse.

 

[Forster]

So if I visited your house and your kid was acting up and I slapped him/her you would be fine with it? Or is it just okay for parents to slap their kids? It seems so strange to me that vegetarians and vegans would be okay with smacking kids when they have a lot of compassion for non-human animals.

Disciplining another's child is almost a taboo (unless it is a very close relative and you have express permission from the parents). In the very few instances when a child's friend was acting poorly in my house, I just sent them home. It's amazing the power an adult has by just saying the words "it's time for you to go home".

 

[mlp]

I don't think anybody here would ever try and justify what your father did to you as anything other than abuse.

Agreed.

 

[Lord Snot]

Please stop the personal attacks. If you can't disagree respectfully, then leave the debate.