U
uno
Guest
i disagree.Even hitting a kid with a "soft spanking paddle" (wtfever that is) is still abuse. Hitting a child is abuse. Period.
i disagree.Even hitting a kid with a "soft spanking paddle" (wtfever that is) is still abuse. Hitting a child is abuse. Period.
For the record my last spanking was when I was 18 years of age, I know this is way too old, but I had a high school boyfriend call me that summer and we were preparing to leave for Disney world union trip for my father in the morning, this boy called at 1 am or earlier and my dad was upset at me for having him call me that late and he didn't like him anyhow , so I shouted I loved him and all and after that I got the worst belt swats in my spanking history, for a month I had a big bruise on my hip for weeks and I was thinking of going to the water park that was there and when we arrived I decided no because it was very bad.
That was a beating I got not a spanking because my dad was half asleep wanted to sleep and I wanted to sleep and things went out of control. That is when my depression started because I wanted a Christian and peaceful house like my Born Again Christian friends were, they were all peaceful and they accepted me in their home daily that year and around explaining stuff , they know and knew of some early start of my depression and feeling scared of my parents especially my dad.
It took many years after I got married and I moved away when my parents started to apperciate me better and now we are getting along.
i disagree.
it is not the best way, but it is a way.Force is not the best way to teach a child who is "boss", I'd even go as far to say it is the worst way. IMO a lot of what is wrong with this country is because of the mindset might makes right.
I look/looked at parenting more as a teaching roll, ie how the hell to get along with others, become self reliant, survive and be happy in this world. When kids are young they are completely self centered... they do not have the life experience to fully understand the impact of their actions on others and hence they need to be taught to listen (I hesitate to say obey) to their parents in certain situations. Not blind obedience either, I always tried to explain why in a way they would understand, not always successfully, but I tried.
are you a child, or an adult?So what if I were to run up and slap you, uno dear? Just to teach you a lesson, you know. Would that be acceptable?
it is not the best way, but it is a way.
we are also talking about irrational beings that trying to be rational with does not always work.
are you a child, or an adult?
and are you my child, or someone elses?
It is and if you read back in the thread (it's an oldish one I know) you will see where in some instances I do feel a swat (not to hurt) can be an appropriate physical communication method to show displeasure with an otherwise irrational being with limited communication skills. It is a method I used very, very sparingly when the kids were quite young and not at all once they were able to talk well.
I'm an adult, slapping another adult. (Well, I suppose I will always be my parent's child, even if I am not a "child" in age, but I digress) My point is, if it's not ok for an adult to behave in such a way towards another adult (even as a friend, even if it's for 'their own good'), then what makes it ok for an adult to behave that way towards a child?
To further my point: an adult would be much more able to "take it" than a child would. An adult may not agree with my reasoning, but could understand why I engaged in such an action. An adult is simply not as vulnerable as a child. All a small child would know is "mommy (daddy, aunt Karen, whoever) is hitting me!" They would not be able to conceptualize the experience the same way, and could be very traumatic for said child.
i think you're taking the child thing to a different level than i would, as i'm a parent and you're not. I assume you haven't dealt with a child being inconsolable and 100% irrational to any verbal communication and just lashing out hitting, biting and doing anything and everything to lash out.
The idealism is great, but it's idealism and that doesn't always work in the real world. It's nice to espouse and be all proud of espousing it, but bleh.
still doesn't mean that it's not a valid form of control in a particular situation. AND, being the actual parent of a child is different than even those things you've done. a different bond.I have nannied, worked in a kindergarden classroom, have a much younger brother, and am a godparent. You don't have to be a parent to come in close contact with small children on a regular basis. Thanks.
ugh. nothing like tv to put a spin on life.Let's all just watch Supernanny. She knows what's up.
When I worked in a kindergarden, we had a mother who liked to hand out candy in hallway in the mornings before school began. Have you ever been in a room full of 5-6 year olds coming off of a sugar-high, and it's only 10 am? My patience wore thin. Very thin. And yet, I didn't once hit a child. Just saying.
and that's you. and good on you. i have rarely done it, but all the for instances in the world are not going to change my view that if needed, it is a tool in my toolbox. just saying.When I worked in a kindergarden, we had a mother who liked to hand out candy in hallway in the mornings before school began. Have you ever been in a room full of 5-6 year olds coming off of a sugar-high, and it's only 10 am? My patience wore thin. Very thin. And yet, I didn't once hit a child. Just saying.
It is and if you read back in the thread (it's an oldish one I know) you will see where in some instances I do feel a swat (not to hurt) can be an appropriate physical communication method to show displeasure with an otherwise irrational being with limited communication skills. It is a method I used very, very sparingly when the kids were quite young and not at all once they were able to talk well.
Well they weren't your children and no doubt you would have been fired if you hit them so I'm not sure your argument is relevant.