Do you believe in spanking as a form of discipline?

For the record my last spanking was when I was 18 years of age, I know this is way too old, but I had a high school boyfriend call me that summer and we were preparing to leave for Disney world union trip for my father in the morning, this boy called at 1 am or earlier and my dad was upset at me for having him call me that late and he didn't like him anyhow , so I shouted I loved him and all and after that I got the worst belt swats in my spanking history, for a month I had a big bruise on my hip for weeks and I was thinking of going to the water park that was there and when we arrived I decided no because it was very bad.
That was a beating I got not a spanking because my dad was half asleep wanted to sleep and I wanted to sleep and things went out of control. That is when my depression started because I wanted a Christian and peaceful house like my Born Again Christian friends were, they were all peaceful and they accepted me in their home daily that year and around explaining stuff , they know and knew of some early start of my depression and feeling scared of my parents especially my dad.
It took many years after I got married and I moved away when my parents started to apperciate me better and now we are getting along.

Even given your experience... you still think spanking is appropriate to keep kids in line?
 
Force is not the best way to teach a child who is "boss", I'd even go as far to say it is the worst way. IMO a lot of what is wrong with this country is because of the mindset might makes right.

I look/looked at parenting more as a teaching roll, ie how the hell to get along with others, become self reliant, survive and be happy in this world. When kids are young they are completely self centered... they do not have the life experience to fully understand the impact of their actions on others and hence they need to be taught to listen (I hesitate to say obey) to their parents in certain situations. Not blind obedience either, I always tried to explain why in a way they would understand, not always successfully, but I tried.
it is not the best way, but it is a way.

we are also talking about irrational beings that trying to be rational with does not always work.
 
it is not the best way, but it is a way.

we are also talking about irrational beings that trying to be rational with does not always work.

It is and if you read back in the thread (it's an oldish one I know) you will see where in some instances I do feel a swat (not to hurt) can be an appropriate physical communication method to show displeasure with an otherwise irrational being with limited communication skills. It is a method I used very, very sparingly when the kids were quite young and not at all once they were able to talk well.
 
are you a child, or an adult?
and are you my child, or someone elses?

I'm an adult, slapping another adult. (Well, I suppose I will always be my parent's child, even if I am not a "child" in age, but I digress) My point is, if it's not ok for an adult to behave in such a way towards another adult (even as a friend, even if it's for 'their own good'), then what makes it ok for an adult to behave that way towards a child?

To further my point: an adult would be much more able to "take it" than a child would. An adult may not agree with my reasoning, but could understand why I engaged in such an action. An adult is simply not as vulnerable as a child. All a small child would know is "mommy (daddy, aunt Karen, whoever) is hitting me!" They would not be able to conceptualize the experience the same way, and could be very traumatic for said child.
 
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It is and if you read back in the thread (it's an oldish one I know) you will see where in some instances I do feel a swat (not to hurt) can be an appropriate physical communication method to show displeasure with an otherwise irrational being with limited communication skills. It is a method I used very, very sparingly when the kids were quite young and not at all once they were able to talk well.

agreed, and well stated.
 
I'm an adult, slapping another adult. (Well, I suppose I will always be my parent's child, even if I am not a "child" in age, but I digress) My point is, if it's not ok for an adult to behave in such a way towards another adult (even as a friend, even if it's for 'their own good'), then what makes it ok for an adult to behave that way towards a child?

To further my point: an adult would be much more able to "take it" than a child would. An adult may not agree with my reasoning, but could understand why I engaged in such an action. An adult is simply not as vulnerable as a child. All a small child would know is "mommy (daddy, aunt Karen, whoever) is hitting me!" They would not be able to conceptualize the experience the same way, and could be very traumatic for said child.

i think you're taking the child thing to a different level than i would, as i'm a parent and you're not. I assume you haven't dealt with a child being inconsolable and 100% irrational to any verbal communication and just lashing out hitting, biting and doing anything and everything to lash out.

The idealism is great, but it's idealism and that doesn't always work in the real world. It's nice to espouse and be all proud of espousing it, but bleh.
 
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i think you're taking the child thing to a different level than i would, as i'm a parent and you're not. I assume you haven't dealt with a child being inconsolable and 100% irrational to any verbal communication and just lashing out hitting, biting and doing anything and everything to lash out.

The idealism is great, but it's idealism and that doesn't always work in the real world. It's nice to espouse and be all proud of espousing it, but bleh.

I have nannied, worked in a kindergarden classroom, have a much younger brother, and am a godparent. You don't have to be a parent to come in close contact with small children on a regular basis. Thanks.

ETA: You know what they say about assuming, right?
 
I have nannied, worked in a kindergarden classroom, have a much younger brother, and am a godparent. You don't have to be a parent to come in close contact with small children on a regular basis. Thanks.
still doesn't mean that it's not a valid form of control in a particular situation. AND, being the actual parent of a child is different than even those things you've done. a different bond.
and, you're welcome.
 
When I worked in a kindergarden, we had a mother who liked to hand out candy in hallway in the mornings before school began. Have you ever been in a room full of 5-6 year olds coming off of a sugar-high, and it's only 10 am? My patience wore thin. Very thin. And yet, I didn't once hit a child. Just saying.
 
When I worked in a kindergarden, we had a mother who liked to hand out candy in hallway in the mornings before school began. Have you ever been in a room full of 5-6 year olds coming off of a sugar-high, and it's only 10 am? My patience wore thin. Very thin. And yet, I didn't once hit a child. Just saying.

Well they weren't your children and no doubt you would have been fired if you hit them so I'm not sure your argument is completely relevant being it wasn't even an option.
 
When I worked in a kindergarden, we had a mother who liked to hand out candy in hallway in the mornings before school began. Have you ever been in a room full of 5-6 year olds coming off of a sugar-high, and it's only 10 am? My patience wore thin. Very thin. And yet, I didn't once hit a child. Just saying.
and that's you. and good on you. i have rarely done it, but all the for instances in the world are not going to change my view that if needed, it is a tool in my toolbox. just saying.

i'm content to be an abuser in your eyes.
 
It is and if you read back in the thread (it's an oldish one I know) you will see where in some instances I do feel a swat (not to hurt) can be an appropriate physical communication method to show displeasure with an otherwise irrational being with limited communication skills. It is a method I used very, very sparingly when the kids were quite young and not at all once they were able to talk well.

Though I don't have any children of my own, I babysit (and always have) for my siblings. Let me tell you that the "spankings" I hand out actually helped our bond and gained me respect where the child is concerned because they know if they get a slap from "favorite aunt", there is good reason for it and they have messed up.

Example; A child is hysteric when parent leaves causing a scene pushing the boundaries. When the reaction to this testing behavior is not positive, the child stops. I had to literally slap a kid back from hysterics once she was like a wolverine clawing, hyperventalating, kicking, trying to run after her mother. You could not talk to her. You could not stop her. Her mother was feeling bad, it was a mess. Once I got her attention with that slap, we talked as I helped her get ready for bed and on her own, she apologized for her behavior. She never did it again.

Another example; child running into the street without looking. This earns a slap because you know better but yet again, child flips out while playing in my yard (this is not a baby, this is an intelligent child at age 4) and see's me get in my car for a moment, runs in the middle of the street to see what I am doing. Unacceptable, this behavior can be life threatening, your butt is getting a tap.

Third example, nephew is around 9 years old comes to visit 6 hours away from where my family lives and I grew up. He gets ******, takes off (in Baltimore) and had all of us out looking for him. When he came back to my house that night, I definitely spanked that kid.

Final example; 9 years ago that same nephew ^ picked up my puppy when I left the room for a split second and tossed it over a coffee table breaking 3 out of 4 bones in it's front paw. Again old enough to know better, he received a spanking.

Now what I don't see where my youngest sister is concerned is consistency and a lot of random rage slapping. She lets her kids talk nasty and slap/kick her but small things will set her off and she will spank out of rage. Her kids respect and listen to me better. Her boyfriend definitely slaps out of rage and excessively and they are afraid of him. If you have witnessed or picture spankings being like this, I can understand why some people might be so defensive and set off on this topic but I am not talking about beating or abuse I am talking about a spank to correct behavior which as someone mentioned might not always be easy to speak to a child when they aren't always capable of reason in the heat of the moment. If there is something I don't believe in, it is speaking to them as if they are idiots or lower forms of people. So you will have your slap, I will get your attention and we will talk about what got us in the situation rather than the crap I see out there daily like fathers punching infants for touching things or mothers ignoring/baby talking an out of control situation.

I was "spanked" as a child with a wooden spoon by my mother and once in a while by my father's hand and it was the same type of situation... I knew if my father spoke to me or spanked me, what I had done was serious and disappointing him was what broke my heart not the slap on my rear.
 
Well they weren't your children and no doubt you would have been fired if you hit them so I'm not sure your argument is relevant.

It is relevant, it's not just "I couldn't because I wasn't allowed", it's that I didn't have the urge to ever hit a child. There are always other ways to solve problems. Even with a child/children in full meltdown mode. And they work. And I made them work. Hitting a child never even crossed my mind, not even "I wish I could, but I can't". It's just not an acceptable answer.
 
IMO the disappoint thing is HUGE in raising kids as they really do ultimately want to please you if you have cultivated a loving relationship with said child. A big part of that is praise when they do good.
 
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I don't agree with abusing children, so no I don't view spanking hitting children as a form of discipline. It's purely an outlet for adults to feel like big strong important powerful people in their otherwise pathetic lives because they can do what the **** they like to a child with no repercussions from the child as they can't defend themselves from the abuse like an adult could.

And I will not associate with anybody who abuses children.
 
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