Do you believe in spanking as a form of discipline?

[uno]

It is relevant, it's not just "I couldn't because I wasn't allowed", it's that I didn't have the urge to ever hit a child. There are always other ways to solve problems. Even with a child/children in full meltdown mode. And they work. And I made them work. Hitting a child never even crossed my mind, not even "I wish I could, but I can't". It's just not an acceptable answer.

It's very easy to give these answers as you were not in my or others' situations. As well as the doubt that you've dealt with every child in the world as they are all different.

and, having a very close relationship with a child on a very regular basis is very different than what you've dealt with. my kids are angels outside of the house and at the house they feel comfortable letting loose and letting all of their frustrations out. if you're not familiar with this, you won't get it.

It IS an acceptable answer. for me and not you.
The Abuser.

 

[uno]

I don't agree with abusing children, so no I don't view spanking hitting children as a form of discipline. It's purely an outlet for adults to feel like big strong important powerful people in their otherwise pathetic lives because they can do what the **** they like to a child with no repercussions from the child as they can't defend themselves from the abuse like an adult could.

And I will not associate with anybody who abuses children.

This is a dumb stereotype.

Dont' associate with me then.

 

[Muggle]

This is a dumb stereotype.

It's not a stereotype. It's a valid observation. People who abuse kids are **** parents and they do it out of frustration because they've realised they're such crap parents. Because if you have to resort to abusing children to get your own way then you're a **** parent. Plus they get the power kick out of it.

 

[Forster]

It is relevant, it's not just "I couldn't because I wasn't allowed", it's that I didn't have the urge to ever hit a child. There are always other ways to solve problems. Even with a child/children in full meltdown mode. And they work. And I made them work. Hitting a child never even crossed my mind, not even "I wish I could, but I can't". It's just not an acceptable answer.

I can buy that. Nor would I disagree with you that swatting a 5-6yo is not necessarily the best way to solve problems with that age group.

 

[uno]

It's not a stereotype. It's a valid observation. People who abuse kids are **** parents and they do it out of frustration because they've realised they're such crap parents. Because if you have to resort to abusing children to get your own way then you're a **** parent. Plus they get the power kick out of it.

so, you're saying i'm a **** parent?

i'm definitely not a crap parent. i promise you that. so, explain that one?

 

[Forster]

It's not a stereotype. It's a valid observation. People who abuse kids are **** parents and they do it out of frustration because they've realised they're such crap parents. Because if you have to resort to abusing children to get your own way then you're a **** parent. Plus they get the power kick out of it.

No you really are stereotyping. It may be valid in some instances but just so it doesn't apply to every situation.

 

[Muggle]

so, you're saying i'm a **** parent?

If you have to resort to abusing your children to get your own way, then yes.

If you were a good parent you wouldn't need to abuse them.


I get very angry when I see people boasting about abusing their children and then expecting people to agree with it. I get angry when I hear of people who are abusing their children and I can't do anything about it. Mainly because I know what it feels like to be a child who is being abused and not being able to escape it.

 

[uno]

If you have to resort to abusing your children to get your own way, then yes.

If you were a good parent you wouldn't need to abuse them.


I get very angry when I see people boasting about abusing their children and then expecting people to agree with it. I get angry when I hear of people who are abusing their children and I can't do anything about it. Mainly because I know what it feels like to be a child who is being abused and not being able to escape it.

You're a fool.

i have boasted about nothing. i'm giving a different viewpoint.

 

[Muggle]

No you really are stereotyping. It may be valid in some instances but just so it doesn't apply to every situation.

If people have to resort to abusing their children then they are a **** parent. It's not a stereotype, it's as simple as that.

 

[kibbleforlola]

It's very easy to give these answers as you were not in my or others' situations. As well as the doubt that you've dealt with every child in the world as they are all different.

and, having a very close relationship with a child on a very regular basis is very different than what you've dealt with. my kids are angels outside of the house and at the house they feel comfortable letting loose and letting all of their frustrations out. if you're not familiar with this, you won't get it.

It IS an acceptable answer. for me and not you.
The Abuser.

I'm not sure why you are getting all upset. Our oppinions are different, and that's ok. (Maybe it's forcing you to look in the mirror and you don't like what you see?) We're still friends, Uno. I just don't see why it would ever be necessary to hit a child. And yes, children are different, and yes every adult is likewise different. I don't think that taking a swat at a child every once and again is going to traumatize said child (once again, depends on both the children and the adult, maybe that child is particularly sensitive). I just think it is better avoided.

And I have lived with children, I know kids can behave differently at home than elsewhere. I nannied remember? They were my cousin's children, and we did have a very close bond. They were past the spanking age, though ( 9 and 10), which is why I haven't really mentioned it.

 

[Muggle]

You're a fool.

I'm not. I'm just not afriad of child abusers any more and I will stand up to them.

i have boasted about nothing. i'm giving a different viewpoint.

What makes you think that part was directed at you?

 

[uno]

I'm not. I'm just not afriad of child abusers any more and I will stand up to them.



What makes you think that part was directed at you?

I've spanked my kids, and that's what you're alluding to. so....

how could i not take that as a personal attack? and that's fine.

If you think that if a parent that has spanked their kid is a **** parent, fine. then, i still say you're a fool for such a generalization.

 

[uno]

I'm not sure why you are getting all upset. Our oppinions are different, and that's ok. (Maybe it's forcing you to look in the mirror and you don't like what you see?) We're still friends, Uno. I just don't see why it would ever be necessary to hit a child. And yes, children are different, and yes every adult is likewise different. I don't think that taking a swat at a child every once and again is going to traumatize said child (once again, depends on both the children and the adult, maybe that child is particularly sensitive). I just think it is better avoided.

And I have lived with children, I know kids can behave differently at home than elsewhere. I nannied remember? They were my cousin's children, and we did have a very close bond. They were past the spanking age, though ( 9 and 10), which is why I haven't really mentioned it.

that mirror comment is dumb.

you called me an abuser. it's on.

 

[Muggle]

I've spanked my kids, and that's what you're alluding to. so....

how could i not take that as a personal attack? and that's fine.

If you think that if a parent that has spanked their kid is a **** parent, fine. then, i still say you're a fool for such a generalization.

And I'm still going to view you as a child abuser who should not be allowed to have pets let alone children, but that's fine.

It's not a generalization. It's the truth.

 

[kibbleforlola]

that mirror comment is dumb.

you called me an abuser. it's on.

Where did I call you an abuser? The only thing I think you abuse is your lack of shift-key use.

 

[uno]

Where did I call you an abuser? The only thing I think you abuse is your lack of shift-key use.

you said that any kind of spanking is abuse.

 

[uno]

And I'm still going to view you as a child abuser who should not be allowed to have pets let alone children, but that's fine.

It's not a generalization. It's the truth.

so be it. and you know what i think of you.

 

[Forster]

If people have to resort to abusing their children then they are a **** parent. It's not a stereotype, it's as simple as that.

People who lump all forms of "physical discipline" under the heading of "abuse" have IMO a very narrow worldview which leads to stereotyping. There are degrees in everything. Not every "degree" falls under the category of abuse, not that I can probably convince you.

 

[kibbleforlola]

you said that any kind of spanking is abuse.

Well, yeah, but I don't think that makes you a "bad" person over all. Just misguided. I'm sure I have misguided thoughts too.

And for the record, parents can never hit a kid and be much much more abusive mentally/emotionally than the parent that takes the occasional swipe at their kid's butt.

 

[uno]

Well, yeah, but I don't think that makes you a "bad" person over all. Just misguided. I'm sure I have misguided thoughts too.

And for the record, parents can never hit a kid and be much much more abusive mentally/emotionally than the parent that takes the occasional swipe at their kid's butt.

so, here's the summation. and i'm glad you don't think i'm a 'bad' person over all. whew.

Hitting a child is abuse. I've hit mine, so according to you i'm an abuser. end of story.