US My mom forces me to eat meat-Pls Advise!

[Loveletter]

I went vegan a couple of months ago because of ethical and environmental reasons. Everything is going great and I do not see any problems in my everyday life because of it. Well except for one.
My mom doesn't force me to eat meat luckily, however she forces me to eat chicken soup, she claims that I'm not eating enough liquid foods, and as long as I'm in her house I have to eat whatever she asks of me. We eat soup every Sunday and it's unavoidable. I've tried every trick in the book at this point. I tried explaining why I'm vegan, my mom didn't listen to me, I tried introducing her into veganism even going as far as to show her a full documentary, she claimed it was all just "lies". So with her not respecting my choices of being vegan at all, I tried different tactics. I poured soup back into the pot when no one was looking, when someone was looking and there was no way to pour it into the pot, I just refused to eat it, that didn't work very well, my mom yelled at me, slapped me and force fed me. What should I do?? I tried everything?? Should I just eat and put up with it until I leave the house?? I feel so guilty eating the soup, I even cried when was forced to eat it. I feel like such a evil person, even though it wasn't in my control. I need help!!

 

[Brian W]

my mom yelled at me, slapped me and force fed me.

This is very worrying. What is your relationship like with your mother generally? Have you tried suggesting another kind of soup? I really wish you all the best. Whatever happens, please stay with us for whatever inspiration and support we can give you.

 

[Deleted member 15373]

I went vegan a couple of months ago because of ethical and environmental reasons. Everything is going great and I do not see any problems in my everyday life because of it. Well except for one.
My mom doesn't force me to eat meat luckily, however she forces me to eat chicken soup, she claims that I'm not eating enough liquid foods, and as long as I'm in her house I have to eat whatever she asks of me. We eat soup every Sunday and it's unavoidable. I've tried every trick in the book at this point. I tried explaining why I'm vegan, my mom didn't listen to me, I tried introducing her into veganism even going as far as to show her a full documentary, she claimed it was all just "lies". So with her not respecting my choices of being vegan at all, I tried different tactics. I poured soup back into the pot when no one was looking, when someone was looking and there was no way to pour it into the pot, I just refused to eat it, that didn't work very well, my mom yelled at me, slapped me and force fed me. What should I do?? I tried everything?? Should I just eat and put up with it until I leave the house?? I feel so guilty eating the soup, I even cried when was forced to eat it. I feel like such a evil person, even though it wasn't in my control. I need help!!

YOU ARE NOT AN EVIL PERSON. YOUR MOTHER IS ABUSIVE. She hit’s you? you could report her at your school. Is there another adult in your home to appeal to or an older sibling.
she wants you too eat liquid foods? That’s not a thing. I can’t with your mother. Can you ask for something like a vegeble soup instead or carry around a water bottle so she will see you as having enough fluids?

Addie

 

[Deleted member 15370]

YOU ARE NOT AN EVIL PERSON. YOUR MOTHER IS ABUSIVE. She hit’s you? you could report her at your school. Is there another adult in your home to appeal to or an older sibling.
she wants you too eat liquid foods? That’s not a thing. I can’t with your mother. Can you ask for something like a vegeble soup instead or carry around a water bottle so she will see you as having enough fluids?

Addie

Hi I am the original commenter asking for help. I got locked out of my acc for some reason. Thank you for your concern. I drink a lot of water around her however she wants me to eat soup because my insides will "dry up and rot " if I don't. I call complete bs. I would like to eat vegetable soup, but my mom would most likely complain that she has to cook a separate type of soup just for me. I don't have anyone to appeal to, I have a older siblings but they are on my mom's side. And are anti-vegan.. School is a terrible choice, let's just say they do not know how to handle it and would tell everything to my mom.

 

[Calliegirl]

Maybe you could offer to cook the soup yourself?

 

[vegan89]

I went vegan a couple of months ago because of ethical and environmental reasons. [...]
My mom doesn't force me to eat meat luckily, however she forces me to eat chicken soup, she claims that I'm not eating enough liquid foods, and as long as I'm in her house I have to eat whatever she asks of me. We eat soup every Sunday and it's unavoidable. I've tried every trick in the book at this point. I tried explaining why I'm vegan, my mom didn't listen to me, I tried introducing her into veganism even going as far as to show her a full documentary, she claimed it was all just "lies". So with her not respecting my choices of being vegan at all, I tried different tactics. I poured soup back into the pot when no one was looking, when someone was looking and there was no way to pour it into the pot, I just refused to eat it, that didn't work very well, my mom yelled at me, slapped me and force fed me.

This sounds like it might be child abuse. Maybe you should inform the proper authorities?

The following website says discipline is probably excessive (and thus crosses the line into abuse, I take it) if: "Action results from a caretaker’s unreasonable demands or expectations for the child"

Trying to force children to engage in cruelty to animals is unethical and unreasonable, and thus seems to qualify as "excessive" discipline and probably child abuse based on my reading of this website.

Source: The Difference Between Discipline and Abuse - Hamilton County Job & Family Services

Therefore, I think this may qualify as child abuse. Even if it's not child abuse, your Mom sounds like a stupid ******* at a minimum.

If she's just upset because she doesn't want to make a second pot of soup, she should let you cook something for yourself. And if you're too young to cook safely she should treat it as a learning experience and help you do it under supervision. (This is what she would do if she was a good mother, anyway).

 

[Deleted member 15370]

Maybe you could offer to cook the soup yourself?

(Original commenter here, got locked out of my account) I'm not very good at cooking, and yet again my mom doesn't trust me with preparing/cooking food, even the planest and sumplest dishes . I will try to research some vegan soup ideas , maybe there is one I could make, thank you!

 

[beancounter]

If you can't convince her to let you go vegan, then at least try to eat as little meat as possible. (btw, chicken is meat...).

When you turn 18, buy and cook your own food.

ps. I'm honestly not trying to be mean, but I find it hard to believe a vegan (or aspiring vegan, doesn't know that chicken, and yes fish too, is meat).

 

[Loveletter]

If you can't convince her to let you go vegan, then at least try to eat as little meat as possible. (btw, chicken is meat...).

When you turn 18, buy and cook your own food.

ps. I'm honestly not trying to be mean, but I find it hard to believe a vegan (or aspiring vegan, doesn't know that chicken, and yes fish too, is meat).

I don't think you understood my comment. I obviously know that chicken is meat. But I'm being forced to eat it , that's the issue

 

[beancounter]

My mom doesn't force me to eat meat luckily, however she forces me to eat chicken soup,

I think I understood you perfectly.

 

[Brian W]

I think I understood you perfectly.

I think the OP meant not pieces of meat; chicken soup only.

 

[silva]

If you can't convince her to let you go vegan, then at least try to eat as little meat as possible. (btw, chicken is meat...).

When you turn 18, buy and cook your own food.

ps. I'm honestly not trying to be mean, but I find it hard to believe a vegan (or aspiring vegan, doesn't know that chicken, and yes fish too, is meat).

Unless there was a deleted post? The OP said the mother was forcing chicken soup on them, and they were opposed to eating it--no distinction was made between the stock or the pieces of meat.

Anyway, at 14 it is certainly difficult. The best I can say is to try and not talk about it, and when you do, discuss the health benefits.
A good minestrone, with beans and veggies in a tomato based broth is easy to make, and nutritious.
What is the rest of your family like? Is there anyone who may help your side, or give advice on how to handle your mother?

 

[vegan89]

I think the OP meant not pieces of meat; chicken soup only.

Yes, I think the OP is talking about a soup made from chicken broth or chicken stock or something without pieces of chicken meat in it. Maybe the portion the child takes is just broth with no chunks of chicken meat in it. Yes, the chicken stock in the soup is remnants of a dead chicken, and there may be things in it that came out of the meat... but it is not "meat" in itself.

It comes from meat though, and supports the unethical and very cruel chicken industry to buy and consume it, so it is clearly contrary to vegan ethics.

It's an interesting moral issue. Can a parent force a child to do things that are contrary to their ethical or religious code? I think it should probably be considered abuse, particularly when stuff like the OP discusses like force feeding and violence toward the child are involved.

Legally, it would probably depend on whether a bureaucrat in a Child Protective Services agency or a judge in a court would consider that to be a form of abuse or not... but I can only guess because I'm not a lawyer.

EDIT: Just noticed the OP is from Croatia. I have no idea what the laws there are like in this area.

 

[silva]

My mom doesn't force me to eat meat luckily, however she forces me to eat chicken soup,

Oh that's whats beancounter was questioning. I didn't think of it as the op thinking the soup was vegan, but saying the mom didn't make them eat meat other than the soup

If you look up "is it ok for parents for force kids to eat meat" all I got was the opposite--the opposition to parents making their kids vegan

Really, do your best. Read as much about plant based nutrition so you stay healthy and your parents can see it's ok

 

[beancounter]

Chicken soup has pieces of chicken in it. At least on my part of the world.

Chicken stock is not chicken soup. Neither is vegan

 

[Brian W]

Chicken soup has pieces of chicken in it. At least on my part of the world.

Chicken stock is not chicken soup. Neither is vegan

Your argument was that chicken is meat but the OP knew that. This showed that you misunderstood the OP but you continued to insist you didn't. The OP meant that s/he was not generally forced to eat meat, but was forced to eat chicken soup for the liquid. That is not a contradiction.

 

[beancounter]

Your argument was that chicken is meat but the OP knew that.

Yes, after backpedaling from the OP.

 

[Loveletter]

I think I understood you perfectly.

Oh sorry I should have explained myself better. What I meant is, my mom doesn't force me to eat meat on its own , she forces me to eat meat substitutes, chicken soup isn't meat but it is direved from meat.

 

[Brian W]

Yes, after backpedaling from the OP.

Yes you are always right and a perfect mind reader. I feel too humbled by your certainty of your opinions as always and to avoid further overwhelming feelings of lowliness, I am going to put you on ignore.

 

[Jamie in Chile]

Please stop arguing with each other as this is not helpful to the OP to solve a difficult situation.

I think we need to be careful about suggesting going to the authorities because it´s not clear if your liberal American/Western values are the same in other countries. It may not work and just damage the relationship with your mother. I am not saying you shouldn´t go to the authorities either, only that it´s hard for us to judge that at this point.

All the world´s major heath educations say meat isn´t necessary at any age, if you like we can find you a list. Use that argument.

But don´t stick to only rational, logical arguments. Emotional arguments work as well. Try behaving very well and then asking for this in return. Don´t force them to take a strong position that they/she won´t back down from.

I think you have to play the long game, here. Parents will often refuse one thing one day and then approve it the next day or the next year.