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Dating a non-vegan/vegetarian

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Alexia, Mar 11, 2015.

  1. Alexia
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    Alexia Active Member

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    Do you find it difficult to date someone who eats meat? My exes all ate meat, but were really good about cooking for me or going to places where I could eat something, but long term I'm not sure it would work.

    On a practical level it's not easy with the shopping or cooking dinner, but whenever I cooked for a partner they ate whatever I made. If they want meat they would have to cook it themselves as I haven't a clue how to do it properly.
     
  2. Torialou

    Torialou Member

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    I can not really say I have ever had a problem but then I tend to eat what everyone else is that I can and just add something I can eat into the meal. I have grown used to eating very odd meals, I do prefer that people do not discuss how nice their meat is though, I can just about stomach eating at the table with them eating it but if the topic goes to how tender or rare it is etc that's my limit and I have to remind everyone for all of our sakes which I hate doing.

    I do find a problem out sometimes though when out with a group of friends and often everyone else will want to eat somewhere and when I sit down there is nothing on the menu, I have got very good at checking out the sides and making up a meal with sides and starters.
     
  3. SweetPea
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    SweetPea Member

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    It will be quite challenging in any situation (spouse, children, friends). If you knew the person before you changed, it may be even more difficult because they may take an offense to not having it (meat).

    However, I think where there is love, anything is possible/achievable. There must be some level of sacrifice or compromise in these cases, forcing (or whining) will never help.

    A good approach, in my opinion is always to find and share with your loved ones, the benefit of eating this thing, as opposed to another thing. That should help greatly... :)
     
  4. Vickeree

    Vickeree Member

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    In my opinion dating a non-vegan could definitely work although there will be some challenges especially if you are new to being a vegan or new to adopting to any diet /lifestyle for that matter. Honestly I'm not a vegan myself, I'm actually more of a cyclical vegan and sometimes paleo and sometimes I just eat what ever I see haha.

    The hardest thing I discovered when sticking to a certain diet or a lifestyle is not the food itself, the challenge comes more from the social pressure you get from others. This is where finding a partner with the same lifestyle or surrounding yourself with like-minded people is a good idea.
     
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  5. jennevieve

    jennevieve Member

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    I did date a non-vegan for quite awhile, but ultimately it did not work out. In addition to other non-diet reasons, it was hard for me to have meat cooked in my home. I hated the smell and the residue on my pans and utensils. Also, kissing someone who just ate bacon is . . . . not for me. Sorry! Hopefully, my next relationship will be with someone who's beliefs and values better fit with mine.
     
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  6. Alexia
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    Alexia Active Member

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    Glad it's not only me, but yes keeping pans separate does make a difference and as for kissing them, I had one who would brush his teeth after each meal!

    It got difficult shopping for groceries together as they didn't mind items with animal byproducts and if they wanted meat or fish I was reluctant to go halves on something I couldn't eat. That ex was mean with money so if one was not so mean and tight, it might not be an issue...
     
  7. erilol

    erilol New Member

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    I assume that a potential mate who is carnist by default is uninformed and following the status quo. Once I show them a slaughterhouse clip or two, and they don't question their dietary habits, I know I am dealing with a control freak. Control freak => Thinks they are the boss of another animal's life because they can determine whether or not to support the industry that raises and kills them.

    lol, just kidding, this is all hypothetical. I really wouldn't consider a non-vegan mate, even though I know this is NOT an option for many veggies. All I can say is, I hope you have the strength to endure a relationship where you have totally different and conflicting lifestyles. (Because I certainly don't.)
     
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  8. jillyan10

    jillyan10 Member

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    Will you really stop being in a relationship with someone because he or she eats meat? I don't think so. Isn't that a shallow reason for you to leave him or her? It is really quite difficult when the other person is vegan and the other person is a meat eater when talking about finances. You need to shop and cook for your other half and for yourself if such is that case. I personally don't think that having two different lifestyle is the only reason for you not to be with someone else or to be in a relationship with someone else.
     
  9. Blaine

    Blaine Member

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    It has always been an issue with my family who loves to eat meat but for the person I was dating then it was more of a positive experience. Since most of the people I know eat meat and are aware of the effects of it on the body, they appreciate my choice more. Because of me they get to eat vegetables and I think they are thankful
     
  10. Cazala26

    Cazala26 Member

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    I genuinely feel it is all about respect. We don't differenciate about race or religion so why should our eating habits be any different. If someone respects that I eat meat, I will respect that they don't. If you love or care deeply for someone whether or not they eat meat should be a big deal. Over time routines are put into place and it will seem less of a chore. If I am cooking for a vegan friend or such I make a special effort to cater to what he/she does and or does not eat. If I make a meat product on the side in which no way touches their meal there is never any issue because they respect the fact that I do eat meat.

    As for relationships, I went out with a guy that was vegetarian. We broke up but it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact the he didn't eat meat.
     
  11. MyDigitalpoint
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    MyDigitalpoint Member

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    Like with everything, I think it's important to observe some etiquette and stick to courtesy. I you are invited to dine and the person inviting do not know you are vegan or vegetarian and serves you meat, you may turn down the dish, but as sign of courtesy and good manners, you should try it.

    Similarly happens when you invite someone who eats meat or diary products but you don't. He or she would accept what you server and not claim his/her piece of flesh.

    However, and in the long run, you need to talk to the person who is dating with you about both of your eating habits so no surprise is coming later.

    One of you may have to give up, or you may set a workaround to satisfy both, but speaking frankly on this topic during the early dating days is a must to have a relationship working.
     
  12. nytegeek

    nytegeek Member

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    Interesting topic. I'm fairly certain my wife would never go for the dietary change. If I had switched and I was single I'm not sure where I would sit with this to be honest.
     
  13. Connie
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    Connie Active Member

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    I was vegetarian when I started dating the man who is now my husband of 18 years.

    He ate meat & fish when we met and I accepted that. When we moved in together he chose to eat vegetarian at home on the grounds I didn't impose it and accepted that at his mother's he ate what he was served and when we were out if he wanted meat, he ate it. After a while his mother started serving him vegetarian and not giving him any meat/fish etc which at first he was confused about but just accepted. His mother assumed he had become veggie because that was what he ate with me when they had visited.

    Over the years he has effectively become vegan as well. When my diet had to change due to developing a severe allergy to dairy products, he accepted it. At home he ate vegan, at work he at vegetarian and then suffered with snoring issues, runny nose, blocked nose etc and has now ditched dairy of his own accord.

    He classes himself as an economic vegetarian. It is his choice and I don't get upset with him for eating fish or meat if the circumstances mean he can't avoid it - some of his work commitments occasionally mean this is the case, but he knows my feelings on the matter and usually chooses to stay away from meat/fish.

    I would not consider imposing it on it, and if I had I don't think the relationship would have made it to the marriage stage. People have to be free to choose what they want and allowing him to do that meant I ended up with the man I wanted to marry.

    One of his brothers, who eat all sort of meat from pigeon and pheasant to guinea fowl and other such 'delights' has married a vegetarian. They manage the situation quite happily as well. He eats vegetarian most of the time at home but will sometimes add some meat to whatever is being served and is now happy to eat out at a vegetarian restaurant without issue. It has also opened his eyes as to what is available out there, but I doubt it will convert him. However, neither party has tried to impose their will on the matter in their household either and accepted the other person for who they are. They have been married for around 10 years now, so clearly the vegetarian/meat eater or vegan/vegetarian combination can work and does work with understanding.
     
  14. Michelle

    Michelle Member

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    It's hard, for sure. Not only is my husband not a vegetarian but he's a proud carnivore. He will go into a Burger King and order the biggest cheeseburger ever and then add like 12 strips of bacon on it. And he will tell them very loudly NO VEGGIES, not a single pickle or shred of lettuce. God help you if he finds even the tiniest onion on his burger. It creations tension because we used to really bond over food, specifically sushi. I sometimes ask him to try things and he flat our refuses. I don't push him but I do want him to broaden his horizons a little lol.
     
  15. Andy_T

    Andy_T Member

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    Whatever you do, do not start dating a nonvegan expecting/hoping him/her to make the change as soon as you demonstrate the virtues of a vegan lifestyle. That can be a recipe for disappointment.

    When I met my wife more than 15 years ago, I was a happy-go-lucky vegetarian who was happy if he could get his vegetarian food and did not care much about what everybody else was doing. After going vegan 5 years ago, it became more and more difficult for me to accept that my kids were eating meat (luckily my small son decided with 8 years of age that he wanted to become a vegetarian).

    I am really lucky that my wife is now eating 95 % plant-based for health reasons, but again, she still does love some meat now and then. So yes, I am happy every time when it works out and a vegan is dating a non-vegan and turns that person non-vegan by force of example, but you should keep in mind that it could also happen that this does not occur and that you might be disappointed.

    If I was single now (which I am not), then I would definitely think twice about dating non-vegans again. There is just so much incompatibility in personal values, and depending on how important veganism is to you, that can be difficult.

    Best regards,
    Andy
     
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  16. mothwings

    mothwings Member

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    If you really like someone you have to meet them halfway.
    I dated a guy who was a carnivore, but he still respected my beliefs and even tried cooking for me (even though it was a mess)
     
  17. barsandbodegas
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    barsandbodegas New Member

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    I am married to a man who eats meat. I haven't eaten meat or fish for 10 years. Granted, he is open minded and will eat food when I make it. He has come to love the meat substitutes that I use in my food, although he will occasionally make himself cheeseburgers and he will definitely order meat if we eat at a restaurant. But, it works because we make it work. Both people just have to be open minded and accepting of one another. :)
     
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  18. CrowdedHighways

    CrowdedHighways Member

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    My vegetarianism has not affected my relationships in any way. I respect her choices, and she respects mine. Yes, difficulties arise sometimes when going out to eat or preparing meals, but I love her dearly and obviously would not break up with her because of her dietary choices.
     
  19. VeganStronglift

    VeganStronglift Member

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    Being Vegan is the second biggest part of my life, I don't think I could relate to someone who ate meat. I have tried in the past and it is like jennevieve said in a previous comment, I have been repulsed when a girl tried to kiss me after eating meat.
     
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  20. Foodie
    Adorable

    Foodie New Member

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    Hi everyone! I am creating a documentary about vegan and carnivore relationships (family, romantic relationships, friendships). Because food is such an integral part of our lives, I would like to explore if different diets can affect the relationship.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 5, 2016

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