How is it that us happy vegans so rarely meet other vegans yet everyone else seems to know a hundred vegans who are jerks?
That's a good question. Right now, I don't really know any other vegans. That might be because I stopped using the word and no longer intentionally seek out the company of vegans, though I keep eating "mostly" vegan. Maybe a lot of even happy vegans have retreated into silence, like myself, due to some of the nonsense the word can inspire? The vegans that I knew couldn't accept that I would even
consider eating meat, even a few times a year. So it was hard to keep those friendships alive, sadly. In the end, if that's all our friendship relied on, a few plates of meat, then they weren't great friends anyway.
I remembered another experience from a few years ago. I was in San Fransisco on a business/pleasure trip and there was a very large animal rights demonstration on Market Street. They had nasty videos of processing plants, people in cages, signs, flyers, chants, etc. It was pretty intense. I stopped to take some pictures and a young woman approached me and said "I see you were taking pictures." I couldn't tell whether she was suspicious, curious, or happy. I told her that I supported her cause and the message, but made the mistake of telling her the truth that I ate meat a few times a year. I never claimed to be a vegan. She then started in on me, saying "can't you find alternatives to meat for those few times? Why do you have to eat meat at all?" I didn't feel the need to go into detail with her, so I just said "hopefully someday I can get there, but if everybody ate as much meat as I did there probably wouldn't be an industry." It wasn't good enough for her. So I started asking her about her involvement in the movement and found out that she had never even heard of Peter Singer's book "Animal Liberation," which many people credit for boosting the animal rights movement in the 1970s (probably long before she was born). It might be a little dated now, but it's a pretty important work (and Singer now doesn't claim to follow veganism). After that, she let me go. I didn't want to walk away from her, because I did truly support her cause. It was strange to feel so distant to someone who I agreed with on so much. Yes, I
should eat absolutely no meat. But, honestly, if everyone did eat as much meat as I did, the industry would crumble. Because I ate even a few plates of meat a year, I sensed that she still saw me as "the enemy," as someone who needed "a talking to." I may not be 100% vegan, but I'm far from "the enemy." I think many people like me probably exist, people on the fringe, "almost there" types, who fully support a no-meat lifestyle, but for some reason just can't make it 100% and who feel excluded from the vegan movement, a movement that they're maybe 90% or more into. The vegan and animal rights movements should embrace these people at least as potential "allies."