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Mother forces me to eat meat

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by vaska2000, Sep 10, 2018.

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  1. vaska2000

    vaska2000 New Member

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    I am a vegan and I live with mom (newbie, came home from college where I lived in student dormitory and where I became a veggie). My mother doesn't take my choise seriously and makes food with meat forcin' me to eat it. I can't explain her that I can't eat such kind of food; I'm hurted eating what I'm not supposed to, not being able to have my choice but she doesn't get it. There are still a week of holiday left. Can anyone help me with advice, how to get through this?
     
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2018
  2. Veganite
    Meh

    Veganite Super Moderator Staff Member

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    Hello Vaska, and welcome to the forum.

    It sounds a bit like how I grew up. My parents were good people, don't get me wrong, but the old school ways were to force children to eat things they didn't like. My parents were no exception. I still have nightmares about gagging on cows liver.

    As for your mom, and how to handle such a situation, I am not sure what you can do that will help. For some non-vegans, they will never understand the concept, or even believe it's healthier than their own ways. Education is key here, but it is not always received with an open mind.

    Probably the single most important thing you can do is to start learning to cook your own meals. At least start participating in the kitchen if you want a say in what's cooking. Show your mom that you are willing to do what it takes. Try showing her some meals that she might enjoy as well.

    It is also important to communicate the reasons you're passionate about being vegan. Dropping the vegan bomb on parents doesn't often go well. If you can somehow educate your parent(s) on the many reasons for going vegan, they may possibly be more accepting.

    Maybe try and get your mom to sit down with you and watch one of the many educational documentaries that shine a positive light on veganism. If you have Netflix, "Forks Over Knives, What The health, Cowspiracy" would be a good start.

    Maybe you can get some advice from this video:

     
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  3. amberfunk

    amberfunk Active Member

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    If you're in college you're an adult and can make your own food choices. You don't have to eat what she makes. Buy your own food and make it yourself. You're an adult and she needs to respect your choices.
     
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  4. veganteen1

    veganteen1 Member

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    I have an article about that on my blog site:

    "According to psychologist Melanie Joy, PhD, “Carnism is the invisible belief system, or ideology, that conditions people to eat certain animals.” It’s basically the opposite of veganism.

    If you’re a vegan teen, you’re likely to be spending the holidays with many carnist relatives. Some may not know you’re vegan yet, and you don’t know how they’ll react. Or they may know you’re vegan but aren’t supportive—or worse, make mean and insensitive comments or jokes about it.

    Here’s a short guide on being a vegan teen in an extended family of non-vegans without letting it ruin your holiday spirit!

    Dr. Melanie Joy has a great video on advocating for veganism effectively that you should really watch. If you don’t want to watch the whole thing, skip to 49:40 to hear her advice.

    [​IMG]

    The following suggestions are taken from that video, suggestions from my awesome VeganTeen advisors, and conversations with other vegan teens about what really works for them.

    Define Realistic Goals.
    Just Surviving May Be Enough.
    Some families mean being the only vegan in a hostile room of meat eaters. Veganism means exploiting animals as little “as far as is possible and practicable.” As a teenager, you have less control over your life than vegan adults. Extreme family pressure or even threats can force us to stay silent about our veganism. Sometimes, they even make consuming some animal products the only way to get through the day. Most families are not this hostile towards veganism, but some really are. You may need to define success as just getting through the day so you can be a mentally healthy teenager who advocates with nonvegans who have open, compassionate minds—not closed, angry and threatening ones forcing you to eat with them.

    Forgive Yourself in Advance.
    Commit to forgiving yourself if you don’t always think of the brilliant thing to say in the moment, if you lose your cool, if you retreat into silence, or if you deflect and change the subject. Agree to forgive yourself if you end up eating an animal product because pressure from adults makes it too difficult to be vegan in these high-pressure circumstances. It is true that the animals are counting on us to advocate for them, but these are complicated skills, and we may not always get it right. If we screw up, we just have to try to do better the next time or the time after that. We are all learning and growing as vegans and as people."

    Here's the link if you want to read more:
    https://veganteen.net/coping-non-vegan-relatives-holidays/
     
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